Thursday, December 6, 2018

Priorities

While driving to work I was enjoying my phone's ability to talk to me by reading the text from a blog page. The blog had nothing to do with femdom, wife-led-marriages, or female led relationships but did address relationships.  One person made the following comment:

"Wow, I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog. We have so much in common that at times I had to remind myself that I didn’t write it. Your comment about how your spouse is basically a perfectionist with regards to everything but their efforts towards your marriage was a summary of my chief marriage complaint (but was written far more eloquently than I could have stated it myself)"

That comment made me think about an object lesson I once heard. It also made me think about the upcoming Christmas holiday and all that surrounds it.  First to the object lesson.

A professor once stood up before his class with a large empty mayonnaise jar. He filled the jar to the top with large rocks and asked his students if the jar was full. The students said that yes, the jar was indeed full. He then added small pebbles to the jar, and gave the jar a bit of a shake so the pebbles could disperse themselves among the larger rocks. Then he asked again, “Is the jar full?”
The students agreed that the jar was indeed full. The professor then poured sand into the jar to fill up any remaining empty space. The students then agreed that the jar was completely full. The professor went on to explain that the jar represents everything that is in one's life. The rocks represent the BIG things in your life - what you will value at the end of your life - your family, your partner, your health, fulfilling hopes and dreams. If the pebbles and the sand were lost, the jar would still be full and your life would still have meaning.
The pebbles give meaning to your life. Things such as your job, house, hobbies and friendships while the sand represents the little things that often occupy much of our time: watching TV, playing video games, running errands. While the pebbles can certainly give your life meaning they are not critical for you to have a meaningful life. The sands of life mean little and often are fillers to life simply to waste time or complete tasks.

The metaphor here is that if you live life by spending time mostly with the sand and pebbles of life - the insignificant things of life you won't have room in life for those aspects that are truly important. 

In order to have a more effective and efficient life, pay attention to the rocks. They are critical to your long-term well-being.

Now to Christmas shopping.  Some may be reading this in places other than the USA. Some may not celebrate Christmas as we do but I think you can make the application to your own holiday traditions.

Once December arrives, many think about what gift they want to give to this person or that person. Often the list of persons can be quite long. And so to find that perfect gift, we drive to a shopping mall or large department store where, there must be at least a half-million items within the confines of that building/mall.  We walk up and down the aisles. We go in and out of store after store. We often shop for a day without coming up with a gift idea for Grand mom or Uncle Harry.

What does that tell you about the person at the receiving end of the gift? What does it tell you about the giver of the gift? 

If you look in my closet you will find many items of clothing. If you look in my tool boxes (plural) you will find all kinds of tools. If you look all through my home, you will find more things there than you might imagine. But yet, my family wants to give me yet another shirt, another sweater, another wrench. Why? Why do they keep doing this? Why do they insist I need more stuff? Why will fret and worry (year after year) that it's just the right gift, the right color, the right size, the right material. Why?

The answer is because I am important to them. But in the end, the insanity of spending a good part of their free time in December running around shopping, buying, decorating, buying stuff, shopping online, buying more stuff and then - when Christmas rolls around and the frenzy of opening gifts and eating until we are ungodly obese comes to an end -  we are left wondering, what all did we miss out on?

In my mind holidays are about family and loved ones not shirts and wrenches. How easy it is to ignore the analogy of the rocks and forgo spending time with the ones we love, the ones we cherish, all because we have to get this or that, or spend hours in the kitchen preparing and missing out on the socialization that is so valued.

How easy it is to think about the stuff of life that clutters our homes and minds and tempt us to ignore our spouse, our marriage, (and even ourselves).  As the Christmas season nears, keep in mind the analogy of the rocks.  Make certain the treasured aspects of your life, and those treasured people in your life, aren't pushed aside just so you can go shop for hours at a time, or hide away in some dark room and watch some 'bowl' game between two college teams you don’t even follow. 

And when the holiday season is over, take a good look at your spouse. That is the largest of all rocks in your life. Think before you turn on an NBA game or TV show. What is more important, sand or rock? Have you spent the time needed to keep your marriage healthy? Do you think you spouse sitting over 'there' would rather stare for the next hour at the ever-changing flat-screen or might she love for you to bring her a glass of wine and ask, “Want to sit and talk?”  Life is all about the choices we make.

Have a wonderful holiday enjoying time with those you love most.

I'm Hers

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

A Pledge From Katie

Last weekend I was seated writing a post I've yet to finish. Katie sat nearby watching a program on TV. On a whim, I wrote a short pledge, took a screen shot of it, and sent it to her. I watched her read it.

You will obey me.
I will ensure you do what I expect.
I will do what is necessary to make sure you remain submissive.
I will monitor your behavior and performance.
I will address lapses in your behavior.
I will lead in the way I feel is best.

"I like this," she said with a smile.

"Do you like it enough to say it, after I pledge my submission to you each morning?"

"I do."

And so she has. It's not long but it says quite a bit. As the leader of our home, the lines that mean most to me are the ones in the middle: lines 3,4,and 5. They speak to the missing pieces of our wife-led marriage. They address the single issue in our relationship - her active participation as the head of household. More than anything, I wish to serve my wife. I love being her submissive. I really do. I especially love it when I not only know she appreciates my efforts but is willing to be involved. I need that involvement. I need her oversight. I need her correction. I want her to talk about us - as dominant and submissive.I need those things because it keeps me in check. It keeps me in my place. It keeps me submissive. It keeps me content. It keeps my mind on her and above all it instills a healthy fear of my wife. 

How can I submit if I can't respect? We went through another mini-meltdown the other week. I continued to say my pledge but the enthusiasm with which I did was less than commendable.  We talked and Katie assured me she'd become more involved as my dominant wife. That was all it took. All it took was for her to say, "I'm willing to try." Of course, if she does and ends up doing what is necessary to make sure I remain submissive and if she monitors me and addresses any lapses - all of which demonstrate evidence of her leadership/dominance, then i will continue to be the compliant 'puppy' who wants to serve and live at her feet.

This post came on the heels of posts by Ms Kaylee and Kathy. They were on the topic of punishment. I sent both to Katie and she read each one. As you know, my wife isn't into punishment and I reassured her I'm not either. I don't want to be punished. I'm not into pain. I'm not into screwing up. But I am into knowing my wife is willing to address issues. There is this need for knowing she 'could' if she wanted. From my vantage point in the relationship, if she has leverage, she has nothing over me. There's nothing that really makes her dominant and there is nothing that really illustrates in a concrete way, my submission to her will.  We agreed. What (I believe) she isn't sure of is: what to do when I mess up (or for that matter when I forget, or inconvenience her).  That's the essence of lines 3,4 and 5.

As an aside, last night we were laying in bed. I asked how I did serving her today.
"You left the door to the laundry room open, just now." (It's a door she wants kept shut.)
Now, I had just gone outside to put garbage into the trash container and noticed it wast't shut. I never gave it a second thought.
"I didn't go into the laundry room," I replied. "I went outside and took out the trash."
Katie started laughing. "Oh, I guess it was me who forgot! Well, at least I brought up something."
"Next time I'll tell you it was me who forgot, so you don't look so bad." I answered.

I'm Hers  

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Positive Fruits of Submission

I'm writing on a somewhat religious topic but for a good reason. There is a passage in the New Testament that describes the changes a person who follows Jesus will experience. The changes were coined by the Apostle Paul and have become known as the fruits of the Spirit. Here's the verse:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Paul professes is that when a believer of God becomes a slave to him, meaning, he/she devotes his life to living according to his teaches, that person will experience change and that change will be positive. The change will be one in which the person moves from the natural mindset of selfishness ("me first) to one of selflessness ("God first") - thus the fruits of the (Holy) Spirit.

I was thinking about the changes in me that have taken place over the better part of the last decade since I've submitted. And there have been changes. There still needs to be more but the ones I've noticed are the consequences of submitting to my wife.  Male submission to a dominant woman changes a man. The more dominant the wife, the greater (or at least more quickly) will change take place. Of course the weaker the dominance, the greater the chance those changes will be limited in scope.

The changes are ones of personality and result from living a life centered on her. As a result it's a life of giving, waiting, anticipating and service. Submission is a lifestyle in which the focus becomes her-centered rather than self-centered.  It's a life of learning to live as she wishes (rather than a life of living how the submissive wishes). It's a life of learning, and eventually conforming to her aspirations.

There is much that rings true with the fruits of the fruits of the spirit passage in Galatians and that of the life of a submissive husband. The Apostle Paul spoke of the changes taking place when a person following Jesus decides to live according to the principle of what would Jesus do. 

When submission takes place, change ultimately follows. Although the change spoken of by Paul is spirit generated, one can ague that the change when a man (religious or not) submits to his wife, he too experiences a spiritual awakening of sorts. It may not be God-centered, but it is indeed an awakening. 

I remember it not taking me very long to realize life would be forever different once Katie began expecting me to assume responsibility for certain aspects of our home - ones she previously took care of.  Preeminent was the realization she was her no longer doing anything in the kitchen.  For me personally, knowing I would be the sole meal provider, kitchen keeper, dish washer and menu preparer was a sobering one. It's a thankless job and one that never ends.

When I submitted I became, albeit mildly, a slave to my wife. That realization I would forever serve Katie, began that process of change. Knowing her wishes were to be my first concern, knowing it was my role to listen and OBEY (gosh, that was a biggie), understanding I was to live according to her standard rather than my own served as the impetus for the positive changes that are surprisingly similar to those listed by Paul.

I recently wrote how I believe submission causes a man to experience an increasing need for his wife as a security figure. One takeaway point from that post, is that submission changes a man.  The point of this post, is that the changes taking place are positive ones. Submitting to another forces one to learn to be more loving, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and exhibit self control. As Paul went on to state, there is no law against exhibiting any of these traits because they are all virtuous qualities.  

When I asked to submit to my wife, I never expected this type of thing to happen. I submitted, in part, because I wanted to experience sexual stimulation. I submitted because I wanted to be controlled by my wife. I submitted because I found a confident, controlling woman attractive and sexy.  What I didn't anticipate were these other refinements in my personality and behavior.

Maybe one of the real benefits to submission isn't the sex or the tease or the denial but the positive character changes that take place when a husband learns what it really means to treat his wife in the same way a knight would honor is queen.

I'm Hers

Saturday, October 20, 2018

A depressing topic - Erectile Dysfunction


If sex was completely taken out of my relationship with my wife, would I still be happy as a submissive? Does most of my pleasure stem from the sexual excitement and the stimulation that it provides me? My recent battle with ED issues is the reason for asking. I could use some help thinking through this. I understand selfishness plays a part in this.

I received the above comment recently. It's a question all men will eventually have to wrestle with. It's the issue of erectile dysfunction. When I read this comment, a feeling of deep sadness came over me. I don't want to be 'that' guy but understand I will have to be 'that' guy at some future time. Is life cruel or what!?  I don't want to lose my ability to perform. I don't want to have to rely on some blue pill just to get it up. I don't think I could make myself take such a pill. I mean, how crappy is that thought? 

Imagine this:
Katie wants to be intimate. She approaches me with a blue pill and a glass of water. "Drink this. I want to feel you inside of me."  Implied in her bringing me my drug is my inability to make part of me function the way it should. Implied in her 'pill offer' is me being a guy that is less than the man who she married.  And so I take the pill. And so things happen but inside, I realize my growth has nothing to do with my desire for her. (Sexual thoughts don't make anything happen down there anymore. I can't even make it move anymore.) But things change. She touches me. She makes love with me and when she is done, I remain hard until the drug wears off. How long will that take..... 2 hours?  So I have to walk around with an erection for how long after we're done? I go downstairs and fix a cup of coffee - with an erection. I throw a load of wash in to be cleaned - with an erection.  I can't go to the store to pick up a gallon of milk - because I have an erection.  

I love being able to be ready when my wife wants me. I love being the giver of her pleasure. I love knowing she can enjoy me and when she does, be a key part of the pleasure she derives. I love expressing my love for her by GIVING of myself in this way. I no longer find intimacy enjoyable only because of the five-second rush of feelings I get whenever she permits me an orgasm. Yes, orgasms feel good but what feels immeasurably better is knowing she wants to be sexually intimate with me. What I cherish is feeling her body move on mine and hearing her breathing increase. Nothing compares to hearing her climax, feeling her body stiffen and know it was because of me that she experienced all of this. I love bringing her pleasure. I love being the giver. I love being the one who allows HER to orgasm and do so in a way that is pleasurable and intimate for us both.

So the thought of a life in which the little soldier remains forever 'at ease' is a devastating one, not because my orgasms will come to an end but because we will lose one of the most bonding experiences we can share.  I do not envision happiness. I don't relish the thought. My ability to perform is a gigantic part of me (at least that is how I feel). Submission will take on an entirely different meaning. 

I have always resisted the idea of just being her honey-do guy. I understand submission is about doing what she wants, when she wants, but to think that sex will not be a part of who we are is depressing.  I don't know if Katie will present a solution. I surely hope she will. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'd especially love to hear from those who are already there. (How do you feel? How have you and your spouse tackled this change? What do you do instead?)  I'd love to get feedback from women who have given serious thought to this, either because their husband is impotent or because they have a plan as to how to handle sex and marriage when that time eventually comes. (Is this an important issue for you? I mean, men think about sex nonstop, women don't. Is his inability to penetrate a concern? If not, why?) Asking a few questions to stimulate thought.

Enjoy your week.

I'm Hers

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Need and Security

Prior to beginning our wife led marriage, and prior to me even knowing such a thing existed, I would have told you a primary role of the male partner is to provide security for the woman in his life. It's what I was taught. It's what my father expected of himself as Mom's husband. It's the example I saw on TV as a boy growing up in the 60's. Boys were to grow up, get a job, get married and be responsible. They were to be the providers and caretakers of their family.

When I accepted the role of the submissive spouse and agreed to Katie's terms of submission, I became a non-entity in many respects. Although I know without question Katie loves me, I also know she expects me to trust her when it comes to financial decisions, relational decisions, and ones regarding my use of time when not at work. Although we discuss how I (we) will spend our time, I have no say when it comes to our finances. She does it all and I trust she is saving and spending earned money wisely.

Since becoming her sub, I believe my need for her as a source of security as also grown. Submission is all about dependency. It's about the man letting go. It's about him learning to trust and learning to obey. It's about the man stepping back. It's about him admiring his wife as she steps to the fore. It's about respecting and honoring her while she leads, decides and directs. It's about the man taking care of his wife but doing so from a position of dependency and obligation rather than doing so out of choice.

It's my contention that when a man submits, he experiences an increasing need for his spouse. I am certain I have become more needy. I have seen the change. Because I look to Katie for leadership, and because I am required to ask permission before doing most everything, my need (my dependency) has naturally grown. I now look to my wife as a primary source of personal security. I express that need by my increased affection. I express it by being physically close. I would much rather sit by her side, or at her feet than be apart. I want to hold her hand, lay my leg against her while in bed, have her lay on me at night, touch her while we drive, etc. I have a need to touch. I have a need to serve. I enjoy serving. I enjoy watching her smile when I do something for her. I have a need for her to verbally approve my efforts. I love when she affirms my service. I love simply being in her presence. I wouldn't go so far as to say I am her house boy, but in many ways I am - and in many ways I want to be that man in her life.

This need, this dependency, is a direct outcome of me letting go. Her control of money, her keeping me in chastity, her deciding when and how we make love, her telling me what chores I must complete, along with me generally caring for her well-being, has impacted how I view her. She is not only my wife, she is the head of our home. She is not only my love, she is the prominent authority figure in my life. I like to think of her as my mistress-wife (my boss-wife, if you don't like the term mistress). Regardless of terminology, she's the one in charge. I'm the one who looks to her for direction.

One of the unforeseen beauties of a female led relationship, is the mutual benefit it provides both. Generally speaking, a girl wants to be loved, she wants to feel safe, she wants to feel secure and she wants her husband to be her protector. My dad was that person for mom. Even though I am Katie's submissive and am required to lean on her for so much, she feels quite protected and secure. How ironic. How cool!

You would think the independence a woman in charge of a female led relationship feels would free her from the constraints of her husband. In some ways she probably does feel free. She is free to decide, free to do what she wants with her time, and free to spend as she pleases. But the irony of it all, at least in our marriage, is that Katie wants to be with me even more than before. Yes she is free to do and live and decide as she wishes, but she is still the same girl inside. She is still that girl who wants to be loved and protected, just as my mom wishes to feel loved and protected by dad.

If you were to ask Katie what she loves most about a FLR she will tell you, "I love that he takes care of me". How unsexy and unkinky is that? :) What she will tell you if you press her for clarity is, she loves to see and feel my affection. She loves me working on her behalf. She loves and admires my devotion. It's that affection aspect that I would term my 'neediness' and 'dependency'. In essence, she loves being in an intense love-relationship and not in a so-so marriage. Her independence doesn't result in her stepping away but rather toward me. She doesn't readily think, 'finally, I can do what I want' but rather, 'I love making decisions that will be best for us'. Her independence along with my dependence, bonds us. It's a two-way bond. It's not one where I am forced to be needy while she seeks freedom and independence apart from me. Not at all.

I don't know if Katie would completely agree, but since she has become the head of our home, she has been forced to become stronger. Because she is the decision maker, she has had to trust her gut more. Not only has she been pressed into leadership, she's also had to deal with me and my issues. She's had to confront me when I've disobeyed and instrucd me when she'd probably rather not. I believe that as roles change,so does our personality and our viewpoint on varying circumstances and situations. How I view something has her submissive might be quite different than how she views it as the governing mistress. I believe Katie has changed. She has become stronger, more confident, more decisive, she has the added role of being my security blanket as well.

I am certain she loves both. I'm certain she loves knowing I have a need to be with, and rely on, her. I'm also quite certain she loves the devotion my submission as promoted. I'm around more. I ask permission more. I affirm more. I depend more. All of this dependency has forced me to remain emotionally close and her feel safe. It's allowed her to be content, knowing my heart only yearns for hers. It's enabled us both to depend on one another in ways we never imagined.

I’m Hers

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Disagreeing the Right Way

I was listening to a psychologist talk to a middle age couple. The topic of arguing and handling disagreements arose. The psychologist made the following statement:

The goal to a disagreement is not to win. Rather, the goal of a disagreement is to let your partner understand how you feel and then be willing to leave it with them. What you don’t want to do is to win. Although winning feels good (and it is a natural desire), if you win then they end up feeling like a looser. Who wishes for them to feel this way. The goal is not victory. The goal is to be heard.

I’ve been thinking about these words for the past week or so. It’s an interesting and powerful thought. I've considered it from the mindset of a traditional marriage and one that is female led.

The difficulty with the above, is not presenting how you feel, although as a submissive, I find doing even that to be sometimes difficult. The difficulty is letting go. It is opening one's heart, expressing a desire and then leaving it with her. It's not knowing if that desire will ever really be considered. And if it is, it may never be granted. For me, the most difficult aspect of my submission to Katie is this. It's telling her what I'd like, what I'm feeling, what I'm worried about and then letting go. It's the vulnerability of being powerless.

I have had a continual internal battle of wanting things but not getting them. Those wants is what prompted the writer of the email in the last post to write. She could see I was heading back down the same rabbit-hole I’ve entered a hundred times before. It is one in which the only thing I will find is disappointment because I didn’t get what I hoped.

I just took a break from this post. Katie had been sitting nearby watching TV. We just had a brief talk. Once again, I shared my desire to submit. I shared how I would love to be broken as ‘her’ submissive. What I mean when I say 'broken' is to be at that point mentally where I truly live to serve; where my service no longer is a me-focus but a her-focus. Each morning I tell her as a part of my pledge, “I want to live my life in service to you” and yet there are so many times (too many times) when my emotions contradict that very statement. It's been so difficult to remove the 'me' from my submission.

Here’s a recent example. Just yesterday we left town on a day-trip. While driving, I mentioned how I missed saying my pledge. Katie was driving. She responded by telling me I could say it now. Hearing this caused me to feel exceptionally close and I wanted to express those feelings. I leaned her way. I stroked her shoulder and touched a little too close to her breasts for Katie's comfort.

“I don’t want you touching me there. People (in cars) might see you.”

Immediately I pulled away. Immediately I felt this ‘ugh’ feeling. Immediately I didn’t feel like pledging my submission. In many ways, I immediately made her remark all about me. My response was selfish and not one in which I put her first. To her credit she insisted I say my pledge which I did – but did so with a little less heartfelt desire than I should.

Tonight I reminded her of this 30 second blip in our life. Katie mentioned how she could feel me retreat emotionally.

“I don’t want to pull away," I said. "I want to live up to the words I tell you everyday. How can I get past this? What needs to happen for me to get beyond making some things about me and not you?”

We resolved the issue of our pledge. What I've yet to resolve is my selfish attitude. I took the advice of the good doctor. I expressed how I felt. I expressed my desire to be different. I expressed my need for her help, support or correction. And now I let go. I didn't insist we arrive at a solution. I left it all in her capable hands. I’m hoping she heard me. I hope she will speak to me more as we work through a problem we both realize exists and isn’t healthy to our relationship.

Living in a WLM is unique in many ways. In the realm of spousal conflict it's quite unique. The dominant maintains all of the power while the submissive has none. With most things, it is the woman who decides - or it is the woman who grants the husband the power to decide on her behalf when she cares not. In all cases, it is the dominant partner who retains all of the power. When we have an issue, Katie has every right to tell me, "Don't do this again" or "Add this to your list to do every Tuesday." I cannot, nor do I wish, to have that same freedom. It's the life we have both chosen. 


To dovetail female led disagreements with the example I presented, all I can do is express thoughts and feelings. I can hope she will consider but I cannot make her do anything. Had the situation been reversed, the way we'd go about handling it would have been quite different. Katie could have insisted I do things certain ways and I would have obeyed. My expectations when conflicts arise are quite different than my neighbor husband who lives in an egalitarian relationship. The neighbor spouses each hold power (or at least they believe they do :) whereas I've given all of mine to my wife.  Katie holds it all.

But isn't that how it should be in a WLM? When the husband has an issue, shouldn't he present it to his wife? Shouldn't he share how he feels? Shouldn't she listen and consider? And shouldn't she weigh the pros and cons of what he just said before deciding? And shouldn't the submissive wait patiently for her to do all of this, knowing she may rethink thoughts but then again, decide change is not what is best?  It's the great paradox between the sexes when living in a wife led marriage.

And so, I ask you: do you argue to win? Do you argue or disagree differently because you live within the framework of a female led relationship? If so, has this been helpful or burdensome? Good or bad? Love to hear your thoughts.

I'm Hers

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Writing on a lighter topic: Doing my age

A few years ago I got the idea of ‘doing my age’ in push-ups had having as my goal of reaching that number by the end of the year. I thought about the idea for a few weeks but tossed it aside. It seemed impossibly hard. The following year I had similar thoughts but quickly decided I didn’t want to try. After all, I have never been able to do that many push-ups – not even close to that many. Instead, I decided to sit back in a comfortable chair, break out a bag of potato chips and watch a ball game. Ah, the easy life. How sweet it was.

This year came and again I thought about taking on this same task. Of course, the number required went up by three since that first silly idea moment three years go. Since then my strength has continually deteriorated. And so, I did nothing – that is until June. I have no idea why, but one morning I got down on my hands and toes and grunted out 15 push-ups. They were hard. Too hard. I was disgusted at how weak I had become. It was game on. But I’m not a youngster anymore. I’m getting old and although I love challenges, I needed to be careful. I needed to allow time for my body to adapt to the new stressor. I also knew I had time – a little more than six months to add another 45 (or there about) push-ups to the initial 15.

And so I started by doing a set of 15 every day that first week. No more, no less. On the second week I added a second set. I intended to make this as easy as possible so I took at least 10 minutes between the first and second set. Often I rested much longer. I took my time. For example I would do a set at 10 that morning and wait until 2 in the afternoon to do the second. But I built up to three sets within a few weeks.

Every now and again I’d test my limits. Once I could do 20, I’d move the required reps up. Eventually I went from 15 to 20 to 25 and eventually to sets of 30.

With each progression it felt like I was at my limit (and I was) but as I kept at it, my body responded. Because I had no expectations, I didn’t stress when I failed. Some days I rested and allow my arms to recover. On other days I pushed a little harder. On some, when I felt kind of blah, I might do a set at my target number and then a few sets of five or ten repetitions less. It didn’t bother me not performing at my best every day. What I never lost focus was I kept at it.

What helped me to be consistent was my chore list. I put “exercise” on that list. Katie never asked much about it. At most, she’d ask if I exercised today. But every evening I had to either mark off my daily list as having done what I was set to do or not. There was no punishment when I failed but I would tell Katie if I felt a need to take a day off.

In September I was able to do sets of 35 and then just last week I texted Katie: “I just did 3 sets of 40! I feel so good!!!”

So yes, I am still a long way from my goal but I have 3 months to get there. In the back of my mind I’d like to get to 45 by November and sets of 50 by December, I think if I can get ‘there’ I might be able to grunt out the final repetitions to reach a goal that seemed so impossible just three months ago.

Recently I added pull ups to my routine…. Just a set or two each day. It was an easy addition since there is a bar at work that doubles well as a pull up bar – and no, it’s not a copper hot water pipe :)

So what’s my point ? I tell you this because I believe men thrive when setting goals. With that said, it can be difficult to set a goal on January 1 and expect to follow through until the end of the year. That’s a long time. However, starting in October and only having to go at something consistently for 90 days doesn’t sound nearly as daunting.

Here’s my suggestion: Pick something you would like to try. It may be walking your age in minutes. It may be walking your age in laps. It may be climbing your age in stairs. or devoting your age in minutes every day to your wife. It may be doing your age with any form of exercise. It may be limiting your TV time to no more than your age or losing your age in ounces. Whatever comes to mind, or whatever comes to your wife’s mind that she deems a good idea, give it a go. You may (in time) find you actually enjoy it.

As for me, I did 2 sets of push-ups this morning and now some seven hours later, I have one set still to do. I just mowed the lawn so I think I’ll wait a while longer before attempting one last set.

Enjoy your week.

I’m Hers