Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Special Lady

I stood after spending 15 or 20 minutes kneeling before my wife. It was morning. It was the weekend. She had come into our living room wearing only a short top, panties and her robe. I had just cooked her a hot breakfast and cleaned up. Initially I came to kneel to say my pledge. Usually when she is dressed like this, I'll slip my hands inside her robe and cup her bottom with both hands and placing a kiss or two over the treasure hidden beneath her panties. I love being there and I know she loves me looking up from that position.

Today however, I didn't immediately say my pledge. Instead I complimented her on the special lady she is. My wife not only loves me as her husband but also for the submissive man I am. It's one thing for a woman to love the man they've married and yet another to love a submissive husband. I let Katie know how special and courageous she has been over the years in accepting my kinks, quirks and needs as a submissive guy, and taking control of me and our relationship as my dominant wife.

"What woman wouldn't want a husband who wishes a wife to feel free to do what she wants and does all the things you do to take care of me?" It's the response I always hear and I know her answer ahead of time because this is how she feels. Katie expects me to obey and she definitely wants me to serve in ways that allow me to express my love and devotion. She grinned and added, "And of course the massages you have been giving me lately are an added bonus. I'm living the life of leisure." I instantly got hard when I heard that! I love her feeling so entitled.

I didn't verbalize this thought but what submissive man wouldn't want his wife to feel this way and expect his wife to tell him exactly what she wants done? I for one love being that guy for Katie.

"But besides me taking care of you," I added. "It's more than that. You have done so much more to bring us closer together."

She asked what I meant and I proceeded to remind of the things I've appreciated. Like how she keeps me chaste, and how we make love - meaning we do so with her enjoyment in mind. I reminded her of how she's allowed me to kneel and acknowledge her as my leader and the one to whom I am accountable, for accepting the responsibility of supervising me, for controlling our finances so professionally and efficiently, and for doing so much more.

As an aside I brought up an instance in which I recently presented a small gift to one of her kids. When I gave it I said something to the effect of, "I asked your mom if it was OK for me to get this for you and she said I could....."

"I caught that," Katie noted with a smile. I commented how normal it now is for me to ask permission. "There is nothing wrong with me asking you if it's OK to do this or purchase that. It doesn’t even feel abnormal anymore. It's who I am and who you are. I've lived knowing you are the head and I'm the follower for so long all of this is now part of us.” She agreed and truth be told, she's right. This is who we are.

Talking with me while I knelt made for a wonderfully intimate time. As we conversed she often stroked my cheeks and by doing so I could feel the love she felt for me. I finally pledged and when I stood afterward I groaned in discomfort. My knees don't handle that position as well as when I was young.

"I'd like one of those garden pads for Christmas so I can kneel here more comfortably."

"We could keep it under the chair," she responded cheerfully.

I wonder if I'll be getting one, come December. I wonder if she'll want me to kneel before her more often whenever we talk like this. It really did make for a special time together this morning.

After Katie went up to dress, this song came to mind. How appropriate!


To those of you who are also submissive guys, I hope you make an intentional effort to express your gratitude to your wife for the special woman she is to you. There is no greater gift than knowing she is appreciated and I'm sure she would treasure your heartfelt words expressing just how much you do.

I'm Hers

Thursday, August 9, 2018

The gift of time together

Life for Katie and I has been wonderful lately. She's yet to punish me :( but then again, it's not like I've been trying to earn a chance at her wrath. This is a busy time of year for me, meaning I have to work some really late nights and some weekends, all of which puts me into a bind with regard to getting my 'list' of chores done while still spending time with her.

Katie's preference is for me to spend my ‘home time with her. I’ve come to realize she places time with me above me getting everything done. As long as I'm feeding her, keeping the home respectfully clean and getting most of what I'd call the necessary jobs done, she seems OK with that. I did mention to her the other day that I am having trouble pulling myself away from her to get the other things on my list completed and wish for her to help me with that.

We'll see how things proceed in that regard as time marches on. In this post I want to talk about how time is spent. We all hear about the need for spending quality time with others and I'm sure that regardless of how that is expressed, the essence of the advice is for two people to be able to set aside ‘life’ and make the choice be alone with someone.

Since the day when Katie set up my chore list, nothing on it has changed, except for the addition of one task: giving her nightly massages. Serving as her masseuse is not something new but it is something we haven't done much in the past few years. Often she'll lean forward while we are watching TV and tell me to massage her neck or shoulder or scratch her back and she will often extend an arm in my direction when I’m seated next to her. It's my cue to massage her arm and hand - something she absolutely loves.

However, for the past couple of weeks she's been wanting 30-45 minute nightly massages. I have added, "ask to massage" to my chore list. It's the last task of my day and although it's something she wants me to ask if I can do, mostly she's been telling me, “let's go to bed, I want my massage". And so, I do. She'll strip down into her birthday suit in the darkness of the bedroom and I'll begin. Oil is applied and while she lays prone, I massage and talk. It's been a welcome chore - not that the others aren't.

The good of massaging has been many but the most significant has been the quiet closeness we are able to spend together. Her being naked adds incentive for me to do this, but in addition to the visual benefit, is the communication one (I almost phrased that 'oral benefit' but I didn't want to mislead you, the reader). We talk. We talk about the day. We talk about us. We talk about the kids. We talk about the grandkids. We remain silent. We relax in the comfort of one another - both naked, but completely comfortable and both deeply in love. There is no sex before or after (dang!) and when she finally tells me 'thank you'. She slips back into her nightie, we cuddle and fall asleep.

How much nicer it is to spend time doing this than watching the news for the umpteenth time, or glued to some TV program because it’s what we do. I know it can be hard to break old routines but by breaking our usual one, we have freed up precious time to be with the one we cherish most.

For us, spending time together with me massaging her ranks right up there with kneeling before her and looking into her eyes to tell her just how much I love and wish to serve. A pledge in the morning, massaging in the evening and hopefully a little nookie-nookie somewhere in between makes for one nice day. The chores come easier, the attitude remains positive and, I believe the mutual respect and love we have for one another, improves.

How do you free up time to spend together? I'm sure it's different for one another and may not be limited to just one event or task. I'd love to get your feedback.

I'm Hers

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Ups and Downs …. and Ups

The other day a very good friend wrote asking how Katie was doing. She and Katie had been apparently writing every now and again and it was her belief that things were on the up and up with us and our WLM. I responded with a short note letting her know things had pretty much fallen apart in the last month and were back to where they were in the spring when we had our troubles. I told this friend I’d probably bring ‘us’ up with Katie but really didn’t want to. It had been my hope that Katie would lead our discussions when it came to talking about our dominant/submissive relationship. But I needed to get some feelings and thoughts out in the open and learn what she was thinking and feeling about us.

So, on a Sunday evening we sat out back and watched the birds and enjoyed the flowers. I broached the subject. We had one of those really good talks. Katie agreed she had let things slide and needed to get things back on track with me. Once again I asked if she’d step out in faith and simply take me and take us on a path she wanted us to pursue. And so she did. That evening she displayed a different demeanor. She became more in control. She gave orders. She told me what she wanted me to do and what she wanted to change. She didn’t tolerate me lolly-dolling around after telling me to do something. I loved the renewed her.

The following day we sat out back as the sun set and again talked. Again, it was another good one. And the following day we talked some more but this time she said something that set me off. It wasn’t anything big. Rather it was something said that I took personally and after I had hit a boiling point with regard to her assuming control rather than passing it off onto me. And of course, I reacted by feeling hurt and shutting down. I simply couldn’t shake the hurt and so I psychologically crawled into my shell for the evening. That night I couldn’t asleep and my guess is she couldn’t either for the same reason – marital stress. I ended up getting up at midnight and going into my shop and working for an hour on an ongoing house project. It was a first for me - working there in the nude :). Thank goodness there's no windows in that room.

When I returned to bed, I didn’t want snuggle her but I wanted to hold her more than anything all the same. Eventually I let my wall down and spooned behind. Come morning she curled up to me. Her cuddling led to her touching and fondling and focusing on that part of me that is sensitive to becoming excited. After getting me in the state she wanted she put it between her legs and her hip motions began. A minute or so later she mounted me and took me like she hadn’t in a long long time. Usually our lovemaking times are softer but this was different. This was all about her getting what she wanted and she definitely accomplished that purpose. All that was missing was her telling me, ‘you belong to me!’ That would have been the icing on the cake but the morning began in a way that was exactly what I needed. I needed to be dominated. What she did brought me back under her wing.

An hour or so later we lay on the ground huffing and puffing after doing some core exercises together. She rolled my way and pulled me in aggressively and started making out. I wasn’t feeling those soft 'I love you kisses'. This was much more. I felt her passion and once more, her actions touched me deep inside.

Around the dinner hour Katie received a text from one of her girlfriends asking if she wanted to go out. “I’m out with my hubby but he can drop me off at our usual place." And so I did, leaving her with her two friends while I headed home to work on that house project some more. Some while later I received a text. “Clean the dining room. Clean the living room. Make the house presentable. Janice and Jane are coming over.”

My project suddenly became an after thought while I vacuumed, dusted and did what she wanted. Her initial text was followed by a few more with more instructions.

After her friends left and we stood alone in the living room. I saw that look and heard her sigh‘that lustful sigh’. Katie pulled me close and started grinding on my cage. I could tell she was getting worked up. Another few sighs followed and I wondered if she was going to finish right then or there, tell me to go upstairs or maybe save that sexual energy for bedtime. She didn't finish and time will tell if more will be expected of me later. It’s not bedtime at the time of this writing.

So…… where am I going with this post? Who in the world knows. Last week I wrote about wanting to be taken completely. I went a few weeks feeling anything but belonging to her. So many of the changes she instituted she abandoned and I had no idea why. But everything changed after our weekend talk. The cage went back on. The pledge was restarted as a morning expectation – and as an aside, today while I was upstairs making the bed and straightening the bedroom she came to me and told me to kneel and recite it. She didn't wait for me to find her seated in her chair. Today was a 'kneel ant tell me your pledge' morning. It’s things like that which gives me hope she might really take me completely. All that’s missing is the consistency of taking me on a daily basis. - and of course - feeling entitled to discipline me - that's the final hurdle.


We spent time in a not-so-good place for almost a month but have moved to a better place. My hope is we can stay there. My hope is she will step up once and for all. My hope is she will learn to take and expect and use and express herself as the dominant women she is in so many ways. God, I love it when she expresses such confidence!

I’m Hers

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Belonging

In recent months I’ve begun kneeling and saying a pledge to my wife. In that pledge, I say many things. I say them with sincerity and honesty. I do so because I thought through what I wanted to say when I wrote those words down last spring. For me, my pledge of submission has meaning - lots of meaning - lots of heartfelt meaning.


I sat outside in the summer heat after doing my daily routine of push-ups and thought about those words. I realized that of all the things I pledge, it's me who makes the choice as to whether or not those statements hold true or not - but there is one exception. There is one statement I make about which I have no control.

I pledge to submit, obey, serve and view her as the head of our home. I make the promise to support and validate her decisions. I tell her how much I love, honor, respect, adore and express my level of devotion. I pledge to live each day knowing my role is to serve and offer myself to her.  But the one thing I cannot do is belong. I can’t belong to her and yet I tell her, “I belong to you.”

It’s interesting to think about that statement. I can want to belong but I can’t make that happen. I may love the English World Cup soccer team (I don’t but it makes a good example) but that doesn’t make me belong.  I may read about them every day. I may blog about them to the world. I may even know some of the players but even then, it doesn’t mean I belong. In order to belong, I need to be wanted and put on their payroll and have the honor of wearing their uniform. Being on the team is the only way for me to 'belong'.

The same holds true with regard to me belonging to Katie. In order to belong, I need to be wanted. I need to be needed. She needs to want me and want my service and obedience. She needs to want me to work on her behalf in whatever way she wishes. Katie has to want to be the one in charge and make sure I serve her to the level she expects. But in the process of belonging, I need to be coached and trained and lead and instructed and disciplined and taught, in the same way, I would and I’ve been drafted to be on the English national soccer team until I understood what it is she expects. In a way, it takes that kind of effort on her part on her part for me to become someone who understands her inside and out and who will value me as an extension of her.

I’ve spoken at nauseum about my frustration of not getting all I need from Katie. That frustration led to me getting angry and throwing up my arms and telling her I’m done.  Out of that, we talked, and once more bonded. And that happened fairly quickly because we are a couple who remains deeply in love and forever committed. But beyond knowing her unquestioning love, I want to be hers. Submissively belonging is a different animal. It just is. I can’t explain it. I don’t fully understand it but I know deep inside I have a visceral need to know and feel that I’m hers. I need to feel her possessiveness and know she wants every part of me. And for whatever reason, it's more than knowing I am loved. It’s that desire to know that she WANTS me as her sub - it’s that hope she will want to dominate and push me to love and serve and go above and beyond.

But I can’t make her take me. That’s completely up to her. I may hope she does. I may hope to one day be dominated. I may want her to control every part of me and seek to understand my deepest thoughts but only she can make that happen. And at the heart of my frustration, this past spring was the powerless feeling because she wouldn’t..

A few weeks ago Lady Gray commented on a post. In that post she kind of dared Katie to not reward me for completing expected chores but rather change those expectations to me doing them all 'or else'. She suggested Katie render consequences - not physical ones - but rather ones in which she removed privileges.

I came to the conclusion that the reason I’m not disciplined or corrected or made to do something I did halfway, the right way, is because I don’t think I truly belong to her. I think Katie believes I do and in most aspects of our lives, I would agree. She controls our finances and what money I have access to. She determines when and how we have sex. She determines my releases and whether or not I’m locked. She decides how we will spend our day and where we will go and what we will do. She has no problem speaking her mind about most things. She tells me when she wants to eat and fully expects me to meet that need.

But belonging completely to another means nothing (within reason) is off limits. For example, Katie Christian told her husband in so many words that if he masturbated while unlocked he’d regret his actions (see part 2 of ‘The Cruise post).  When John from Femdom 101 needs to be quieted Kathy snaps her fingers and he immediately drops to his knees and remains there until he is released. Diane, has told her husband his former easy-chair no longer belongs to him and he is not to ever use it. I’m pretty certain there are consequences to be had should he disobey. Hannah from A Dominant Woman has no issues about rendering consequences or removing a privilege when her husband Elliot screws up. The interesting thing about each of these couples and each of these examples is that the men in these women’s lives love both knowing their wife has this kind of power and enjoy (with a bit of fear mixed in) that she might assert that power at any time.  


In each situation, these women were willing to take that extra step. I believe it’s in love that they do. They realize there is a bigger goal than the 'wrong' needing addressed. They know that their husband needs to be reminded of who is in charge. They know in some odd way the consequence rendered meets a submissive need about which she cannot fully comprehend - yet knows it does - even if the consequence won’t be pleasant. They know the act of punishing will pull them closer as a couple rather than further apart.

If I completely belonged to Katie she wouldn’t stand for some of my antics. She wouldn’t tolerate me not doing something when told. She wouldn’t stand for my absentmindedness or lack of attentiveness after telling me to remember, do, or consider something.  She wouldn’t allow me to get away with not doing things she’s previously told me to do. And if I really belonged she’d feel a sense of entitlement to correct. She’d feel that way because she’d consider me as hers. She’d want to teach me and expect me to act in ways that please her. She'd want this because she'd want to use me to free her from unwanted chores or responsibilities that she'd rather not do.  She wouldn't worry about hurting my feelings when demanding more. She’d feel free to add additional duties without guilt for the very reason that I’m completely hers. And if she saw me respond negatively to a demand or comment she'd feel free to openly talk and flush out my feelings to learn the truth rather than settle for an “I’m fine” answer that tells her nothing. She would reassure me that my submission requires my obedience and that obedience pleases her immensely. She would address situations as they arose to keep undesired actions and attitudes at bay and remind me my life is to first and foremost be one of devoted service to her.


She’d do that because she’d know deep inside that I belong to her and nothing less than my best is acceptable. And if I completely belonged she’d feel my love in ways yet unknown and I too would feel her love in ways I really can’t describe.


I miss not quite belonging to her in that most intimate way. Yet I can taste how close we are to taking that next step. I can only hope she decides she will and in so doing, take me completely.


I’m Hers

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Guest Post: Our Cruise Part 2

Below is part two of my friend Katie's cruise with her husband. Enjoy

After our unexpectedly arousing start things on our cruise settled into a more common routine for us. This was our first time on the Independence of the Seas and as I said earlier, it is now our favorite ship. It was big enough to offer a lot of choices on things to do but small enough to not feel overwhelmed.  We thoroughly enjoyed the adults only solarium where I was able to fully lose myself in relaxation. I had an attentive husband who would graciously fetch me something to drink or nibble on, apply lotion, or any number of needs that I had. Couple that with having no need to provide him a chore list, inspect his work or meet out discipline, I was in relaxation heaven.


Being as I had already decided he would not be getting any release during this vacation my mind was also free from any pressure to attend to that.


With hubby properly caged I am sure that provided him plenty of incentive to keep him from surveying all the eye candy surrounding us.  It is hard to relax when you know as soon as you close your eyes your husband’s eyes will begin to wander. He did fidget on several occasions trying to make adjustments “down there” but I saw that as understandable considering the environment we were in.
We enjoyed our stop at Cozumel, Mexico above the rest. If you go you must check out Chankanaab Park. It is postcard beautiful and the perfect place to snorkel. But, we encountered a problem with the mix of salt water, sand and a tightly fitted chastity cage. My poor hubby had a case of chafing by the time we made it back to the ship. because even though I had the key to his cage with me, there was no way I was going to let him go into the showers without his cage on. Back onboard the ship I was able to supervise his showering and decided to leave him uncaged for the rest of the night after applied lotion to his affected area. I like when his long-caged manhood responds so immediately and fiercely to my hands just getting near it.


I told him he could spend the night without the cage on but if I did not see the same response from his male member in the morning I will know what he had done in the quiet of the night. Since his 50t
th birthday is in his rearview mirror if he played at night he is too old to recoup in time for his morning inspection. I reminded him he DID NOT want to go there. I was so very very proud of him when I asked him to get out of bed and get me a good cup of coffee that his manhood started to harden almost immediately when I just touched it. We both laughed as I raced against time to get him caged before, you know, it became impossible. 😊


On the second to the last night of our cruise, we had a late dinner and then spent some time walking the different decks to enjoy the calm and beauty to being at sea. The sound of music from the Boleros lounge drew us into its Latin-themed confines. A six-piece band was playing, and we soon found ourselves joining the few other couples on the small dance floor. The music soon slowed, and we enjoyed slow dancing. I especially enjoyed it when I laid myself into my husband big beefy chest and felt his strong arms around me. I just love being in that safe, warm embrace.


What caught me off guard was as he pulled me in tight,  was I could feel his cage through my dress and it was pressing on me, you know, “down there”. We continued to sway, and grind and I felt like if we got everything just right, well you know.


It may have been my own insecurity because I am a rather private girl, and we were in such a public place, I just couldn’t quite get there. When the song stopped, and I lifted my face to look into my husband’s eyes he quickly saw “where” I was and asked if I wanted to go back to the room. I didn’t directly answer him, but he picked up on my rapid breathing and flushed face and took the lead.
Back in our room, I felt no need to remove our clothes. It just felt kind of raunchy to pick up where we left off and I danced with him in our room to music only I could hear. That was nice but still wouldn’t get me to my destination if you know what I mean so I had him lay on the bed still fully clothed and I crawled on top of him. In this position I could get things just right and the waves of pleasure that soon ensued left me more breathless than I remember being in a long time.  After the original tsunami, I laid collapsed across my hubby’s chest and felt spasms every 30 seconds or so for several minutes.
As we headed home I thanked my husband for the incredible sacrifices he makes to empower me with the opportunity to be one very happy wife. How many men are man enough to lay aside their desires for the betterment of their wife? To take on the responsibility of doing most of the domestic chores so she can lead a life of leisure. To allow their manhood to be locked to loosen his wife’s femininity. To unshackle their wife from the responsibility of seeing to him having an orgasm so she can lose herself in her own orgasm. I don’t have the answer to those questions, but I know one man who is. I couldn’t love and respect him more than I do.

Sunday, July 1, 2018

A post for 'Diane'

I normally wouldn't write this using a public, "everyone can read this format" but since I know of no other way of reaching Diane, I'm left with this less than ideal way of contacting her and the hope she might stumble onto this post.

To Diane:

There are very few 'good' blogs written by dominant women. You are one such woman although I think you and I would both agree you feel you are more in the beginning stages of your relationship. I've read your comments on various blogs during the past year or so and have found your thoughts to be a joy to read and consider.  You are practical, down to earth, committed to a life of dominance over your husband, yet I believe the basis about which you approach your relationship is one of love.

It is, for this reason, I think you - yes you - (smile) should strongly consider starting a blog. The world needs to hear your thoughts.  Consider: when I started blogging I had no idea what in the world I was getting into. In fact, I began shortly after asking my wife if I could submit. We struggled and grew and experimented and slowly figured things out in a way that (mostly) works for us. The blog I began was nothing more than a 'putting into words' what was happening in our lives - and in our minds as we embraced a FLR and later a WLM.

How refreshing it would be to read your story; to hear your thoughts; to consider how you handle various situations that arise in your family's life, etc.

I will say no more but I sincerely believe having you as one of those women leaders (even if you feel completely overwhelmed and unworthy) who might help so many other women who feel similar to you.  And I think you would love to have more women find the same kind of happiness and contentment you have via the relationship you've discovered.

Think about it.

I'm Hers


Sunday, June 24, 2018

A Comment to the Cashier

Katie and I spent a day doing some home shopping. We had just finished a major project and were looking for a new lamp for a room.  Our area has some great shopping for that kind of thing and so we went to a maga outlet in search of that special item.  After spending a few hours looking here and there we spotted what we wanted. I carried the lamp to the counter and there was no one else there except us and another elderly couple working with another sales clerk.

"Are you paying with cash?" the woman asked.

I looked to Katie and Katie kind of shrugged her shoulders and made one of those faces that told me, I'm not sure if I have enough cash on me. I sure didn't. I think my wallet held about $3 at the time.

"Why did you ask?" Katie finally said.

"I won't have to charge you sales tax and you'll save about $10."

Thinking for a few seconds she looked at me and said, "There's a bank across the street from where we parked. Why don't you take your debit card and get some money?  Do you have your card?"

"Yes, I do but I don't remember my PIN to access the account." I also wasn't sure there was much money in that account since it is hardly ever used - and yes, it had been that long - probably more than a year since I last used my PIN to withdraw money from it. I don't ever do banking. I don't ever hardly ever have more than $20 or $30 at hand. Money is not something I have access to anymore.

She pulled out her debit card and whispered her PIN. It's 7468 in case you wondered. (Just kidding :) )  I headed for the car, drove to the bank and withdrew a bit more than I needed just in case.  Ten minutes later I was back with cash in hand.  The woman told me the amount, which was 20 less than the asking price and I handed her the money.  While she got me change I handed Katie $50.

"Here, here's your $20," she said meaning it was my allowance for the next two weeks.

"Lunch money?" The woman asked seeing the exchange.

"No, it's his allowance," Katie said matter of factly.

The lady giggled awkwardly and finished the transaction. I could tell she didn't know how to respond. We left with me carrying the lamp.

Just as we walked out I spoke, "My allowance?"

She beamed and laughed while half-turning back to look at me. "It is your allowance," she then said.

Which was true.

Best part for me:  I couldn't believe it actually caused a stir down below and even better, her comment simply came without thought or hesitation.

I'm Hers