Tuesday, February 22, 2011


I've been wanting to begin a blog for sometime and now finally took the plunge.  My desire in doing so is in-part to record my thoughts as I walk this new road of submission with my Dominant. It's been about a year since I first learned that this lifestyle even existed and after reading much about it - and reading lots that I believe is NOT  what I want - I began talking to my partner.  We talked for several weeks discussing this 'non-traditional' relational format. We didn't know if it would change us for the worse and in particular she was concerned that it would turn her 'into a bitch' as she put it.  However, we decided to try and after a few months of living this way, I formally asked if she would assume the permanent head of our relationship. She accepted and together we continued our journey on this path which we both thoroughly enjoy.

We both have learned much since then, and our relationship has progressed similar to the way I believe most D/s relationships that are service-oriented have also evolved.  As for me, I was initially looking for sexual domination but soon learned that this lifestyle is so much more than submitting sexually. As we read and discussed we agreed that we didn't want a 'scene-based' D/s relationship but one that encompassed our daily 24/7 lives - one that permeated our lives in every way. We are still new at this. We are learning. We continue to talk. Our relationship, specifically my role, continues to change as I learn more about what it is that she really wants and needs. In the future I want to discuss these topics further and would welcome your suggestions as I will consider your thoughts seriously. I hope you will share honestly and I will respond the same - from my heart.

I want to thank those of you that have blogged about your service-oriented relationships as I have learned much. I've also learned from others that have corresponded with me while I subscribed to a D/s website for a few months and spoke to a few Domme's at length, trying to better understand the roles of the respective partners.

I've wrestled with how this lifestyle meshes with my core values, my faith, my masculinity, my self-identity, my children, my friends.  I've literally spent hundreds of hours pondering what it is that I have found and where it is that I perceive our relationship heading.  I can't say for certain where I will be in a year, or five years from now relationally, but I will say that so much of this life- specifically the mindset of a submissive male - is one that has many many positive qualities conducive to relational growth and stability.

I would love to hear from others and I will continue to read and support others whose views on relationships advocate this type of lifestyle.
As for me,


  1. Just discovered your site while looking at Mistrees Ivey's. Am starting from the beginning. I am a stealth sub in a vanilla relationship.


    1. GF, If you'd like to chat more freely, feel free to email using the email on the top right of the page. Glad you've realized your a sub. Love to hear YOUR story. Hope you enjoy ours :)

  2. I just found your blog, and I'm starting here and reading forward. I've know I've had submissive tendencies most of my life. I've shared these feelings with my wife. She is very understanding and accepting of the idea. We haven't decided if we want to just "play" sometimes or if we want a full FLR. I'm looking forward to reading through your blog and some others I've found in hopes of aiding our decision. Thanks for sharing so much.