Wednesday, March 23, 2011

A Surprising Conversation

As soon as Katie closed said goodbye to our dear friends that had come over for dinner last weekend she turned to me and exclaimed, “Now there is something you can write about in your blog!”
We had just spent the evening enjoying a great dinner and socializing with Audrey and Mike.  I had cooked the dinner while the other three chatted nearby on the patio. As Katie and Audrey spread the crisp, white linen tablecloth over the table, Audrey commented, “The queens need to sit at the heads of the table.”
“I think that sounds like a good idea to me,” replied Katie.
Nothing more was said on this topic until partway through dinner when Mike commented how he was in ‘knight-mode’. I asked what that meant and he told me how his wife Audrey was now in ‘queen-mode’.  He went on to explain that knight-mode meant serving the queen, and although he could ask for permission to be in king-mode, the queen had the option to tell him ‘no’ or inform him he was done living in king-mode.  What he was really talking about was dominance and submission.
Katie and I looked at one another and smiled as the conversation continued. Mostly we just listened to their thoughts on this subject and I kept asking Mike questions to keep him talking about his thoughts.  I learned that Audrey, who is a writer wanted to write her next book on this topic; that things seemed to go much smoother for the two of them when the queen was in charge; and that the reason why the queen ruled was because she was better suited for it and Mike presented several reasons to support his premise.
Katie and I often joke about telling our friends about our way of life but never really gave much thought that we may indeed already have friends that also share a similar relational style. Audrey and Mike were not true dominants and submissives since they shift in and out of those roles, but they do tend to profess to the idea of the queen being the dominant more often than not. For me this was an eye-opening conversation as it implied that the D/s lifestyle is most likely much more prevalent than I had ever imagined.


  1. I've always believed that there are many couples in wife led relationships they just don't acknowledge it.

    I was discussing the male centered aspected of Mormonism with a close Mormon friend and he looked at me and said, "Are you kidding. Do you know any marriage where the wife isn't the boss?"

    The only difference between my marriage and many others is my wife and I acknowledge that she is the boss.

  2. Whatevershesays,
    Yes, I agree in part but I also believe there is a significant difference between true service submission and those vanilla relationships in which the wife runs the house and makes many marital decisions. What is missing is the true acknowledgment of her power, her taking full control in the bedroom, denying orgasms, locking her husbands cock up, expecting service - every time - day after day. Audrey and Mike are leaning a bit more toward D/s but they haven't committed to a formal uncompromising relationship. Mike can be a 'king', or he can just 'be', whereas, I am ALWAYS Katie's sub and I never want her to turn me into a 'king' as my friend Mike enjoys. Just my thoughts. Thanks for commenting

  3. Mr. IH,

    Hello. A wonderful encounter. Thank you for sharing. It is of encouragement to see the lifestyle becoming accepted in others during passing conversations.


  4. My fiance and i always look around and people watch and try and figure out if we are the only ones who try to live this way and if any other guy has a cage on. Its fun some times. But there has to be more out there than what i think. I hope there is. I would like to meet more couples that are into it. Thank you for this place and all the help