Sunday, April 10, 2011

Conquerer, yet Conquered

What drives you as a man?  What brings out the best in you?  What is it that pushes you to be the best you can be, regardless of what it is you are doing?  For me, it's the desire to succeed.  It's not being satisfied with where I am at the present.

As a kid, my love was with sports. There were three seasons to my life - basketball, baseball and football. In the way of those three things were school, chores, scouts, church, etc.  My first love of course was play. Play varied depending on the weather but generally speaking when I could compete with my friends by playing a game that's what I preferred.

In high school those sandlot games faded but competitive sports became my niche.  I competed in three sports all four years of high school. It was what I loved doing.  Yes I wanted to do well in my studies but school came easy and generally I never studied - maybe in study hall prior to a class, maybe while walking down the hall to that class and rarely at home when I did homework or prepped for a big test the following day. The majority of my mental and physical energies were devoted to sports and it was there that I focused my attention and effort.

In college, the emphasis turned toward school. I actually got serious about it because the academic institution I attended was difficult and I had to work.  I worked harder than ever before academically. Yet sports were my outlet and although I now limited what I did to one , it was an obsession of mine while I was in-season.  I competed in an individual sport and did not take losing lightly.  If I was beaten by a better opponent that was one thing, but I was never satisfied with giving anything but my best effort - it was just unacceptable.

I didn't date much until college but when I found a girl that I was interested in, I pursued her, and usually 'got' her.  Why? In part, I think it was thechallenge. She became the challenge. I wanted her to like me and so I did what I needed to in order to obtain her affection.

After school I entered the workforce.  I got a lucky break and got a fantastic opportunity to work at a college.  I even got to teach - having been at the right place at the right time, knowing the right people.  Those first few years were hard.  I would teach some classes and come away feeling great, while I was disappointed in others.  I worked and reworked my notes and the approaches I used to get the information across in ways that students both enjoyed and would understand that which I was important. Now, thirty years later, I am still changing approaches and making tweeks in the way I teach. Why? Because there are always better ways of doing things and because my way doesn't always mesh well with whom it is I am teaching.  It's me that must adapt not them. 

Why do I say all this?  Because I thrive on challenges.  That is what brings out the best in me.  In some ways I think I'd make the perfect Dom. I think I could have a blast making a submissive woman serve me. I could constantly surprise her; constantly keep her on her toes, constantly thinking of me and how she needs to make me happy and make my life enjoyable.  But I'm not. I'm the polar-opposite. I'm the submissive. Yet as a submissive I thrive. Why? Because it brings out the best in me. It's a challenge. It's a task worth conquering. Yet I don't think I will every reach this summit.  I'll reach the false summits but not the true one. I don't think I will ever completely satisfy her without periodically failing because she is not static and I'm not perfect. She's dynamic. She's ever changing. And like sports or like academics, one can never give their best effort every time. It just doesn't happen. Even the best do lest than perfect sometimes. But the best learn from their mistakes and rise to the next challenge.  The submissive life is exactly like sport competition, exactly like teaching, exactly like being educated. The opponent, the pupil, the subject matter constantly changes and there are always new challenges. It's those challenges that drive me as a submissive male to please Katie. Isn't that the best?

Who would have thought that the driven, never satisfied guy I am that loves to win, loves to be admired, loves to be 'better', is the same guy that loves, more than all, to be dominated, to be controlled, to be second, to be less important, to stand behind, to defer to her.  Yet it is what it is, and I can say truthfully that the two mesh so well.  Katie is my challenge. She is my opponent, (so to speak). She is also my 'boss' and I love making my boss happy. Why? Because I'm a pleaser. I'm a competitor. I'm not one who enjoys doing things just ok. And the rewards for pleasing my boss are beyond compare. Delicious in fact.  Can you identify with me?  Are you the same way or different?  Love to hear your perspective on this.


  1. Mr. IH,

    For me, it is kinda the same. I feel pleasure when I am submissive. This is a pleasure that is real and one that I strive to feel. It feels good and therefore I seek it. I find it occurs in many ways. If I am doing laundry while my wife watches tv, I recognize the disparity and I feel pleasure. I have been known to have a wet spot of pre-cum in my PJs while doing nothing but ironing. The best, I find is bringing my wife to an orgasm. When I do, I feel a 'flood' of pleasure. Also, when I massage her feet, I too can tell when I do something she enjoys and it has an acute pleasure reaction in me. It is as if, I feel pleasure through her and it in turn drives me to do so.


  2. SH,
    I hear you but do you also see yourself as the opposite of a submissive in so many other ways? Would you go so far as to say that you are dominant is many aspects of your life? My point was that I am that way - dominant, perfectionistic, getting my way, and as much as that seems to not be the way of the submissive, I think it really is. It's just I can be all of those things under the control of her rather than independent of her. I can also get a chance to let my personality shine while pleasing her and under her watchful care. Thanks for commenting.

  3. Mr. IH,

    There are areas I am comfortable with an air of authority. With my wife, I feel pleasure and contentment as a submissive more so then I had though possible. I think that is fair to say I am so among any woman willing to take a position of authority over me, but of course I give deference to my wife in such matters. For instance, her best friend who knows about the details between my wife and I came to stay with us one weekend. I asked my wife and I was not to give her any deference other then the courtesy of a house guest. My wife decides the level of deference I give to other women. In this, I feel pleasure I did not know existed.

    You are new and have much to discover. The pleasure of giving a foot massage and feeling your Katie enjoy it causing you to feel pleasure too. There are many others. Who knows what direction she will take.

    Best wishes.


  4. Ms. Katie,

    Hello. Yes, the first use of the CB-6K can cause skin irritation. This is easily remedied from application of lotion twice a day. Below is my post explaining its wear. I have had mine on continuously since January, except for passing through airport security twice. Otherwise it is on 24/7. The twice daily lotion application is an important step, especially in the beginning. Night time wear causes some discomfort with morning erections, but the mild ache ends after about a month of sleeping with it as the body adjusts to it's use. The ache is not a sharp pain. Do not worry. Just an ache that quickly passes when the erection subsides.

    It is commonly recommended to have an initial lockup of three months for his body to get use to it. This three months also allows you time to get use to him being kept chaste, as it is a change in pattern that takes a transition. Doing so is completely up to you, but is commonly recommended.

    take care.


  5. SH,
    Thank you for responding so quickly. I also read the link to your blog and found it very helpful.