Thursday, May 5, 2011

Being Bad

Katie and I have been a part for the past week. However, the day after I returned to my apartment she told me that she would let me masturbate to 'near orgasm' for about 10 minutes a day. It was a wonderful surprise since she typically tells me I am not to touch myself at any time. Even though she was giving me a wonderful gift I must say that it was quite hard to stop when the clock hit the 10 minute mark or whatever amount of minutes she told me each day that I had to pleasure myself. But I was good and abided by her rules.

Last night she surprised me again telling me I could sleep without being in chastity, another great gift as I didn't have to deal with morning erections waking me up.  In the morning I texted her asking if I could stroke myself before getting my shower and locking myself back up.

The text I received said "5 min".

At the end of the 5 minutes I texted her back, "Please can I have another 5? I'm begging you. Please"

The answer came back "No."

I responded "You told me I had 10 coming to me. I want my other 5 now!"

She replied, "Fine! But no time tonight."

I had won the battle of wills and enjoyed another 5 minutes of pleasure.

So what is one to make of me 'topping from the bottom'? What do other Dommes suggest for the consequences for doing what I did? Later in the day I sent her an apology but the fact remains - I was bad.  I got what I wanted. I successfully manipulated the woman I love and said I would obey - by disobeying her initial command of 'no'.

Have you as submissive men done the same? Where you successful? Remorseful? Punished?
As dominant women, how did you handle the situation when you caved to your sub?  I could justify that I only asked again and it was Katie that caved, and although she did give into me, that I really didn't disobey at all and.... well, we could go round and round with that line of thought.

I'd love to hear yours.
Humbly I sign off here
I'm-Hers.

5 comments:

  1. But I ask, did you really successfully manipulate the women that you love by getting your extra 5 minutes or was it that you were testing her (maybe subconsciously) to see just how far Katie would go to hold to her initial “no”. Now you are reaching out for advice to others for them to suggest if punishment is warranted, hmmm. Maybe you are topping from the bottom, testing the will of your Katie, and possibly with the hopes of input from other on what to do about the consequences that you should face for doing just that. Topping from the bottom, well maybe in more ways then one, but I am no shrink, just my 2 cents, hopefully I am not being too critical? And not to make too much of it, you both seem to be enjoying this dynamic between the two of you, so no harm, no foul.

    I am so glad that the two of you are sharing your experiences with the rest of us, love reading your blog.

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  2. LYW,
    Yes I really did want the extra 5 that morning and yes I really did wish in hindsight that she had stood her ground.

    The questions regarding punishment of which I have been locked 24/7 with no hope of exiting the 6000 until at least Sunday when I see her is what she is giving me. I was simply curious to know what others would do should their sub do what I did. This isn't deserving of physical hitting - that only happened once and I was really bad when that punishment was levied. Thanks for commenting.

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  3. While technically you didn't disobey her (as you said), what you did was question her decision. She decided that you should get five minutes. Then you thought she was wrong and that you should have gotten ten minutes. She reconfirmed that she wanted you to only have five minutes. And again, you told her she was wrong and you were right and that you should get ten minutes instead.

    This does nothing but undermine her self-confidence. Her confidence is probably one of the key components for a good health FLR. If she's afraid that you're going to be second guessing her, she's not likely going to feel like going along with this.

    This is basically talking back (even if you were texting). What my girlfriend did to cure me of this problem was that any time I did not answer with 'Yes Dear' whenever she told me of her decision, I would spend at least an hour wearing a o-ring gag.

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  4. Mr. IH,

    I too was required to ‘edge’ for a duration each day during our initial transition. I found it very helpful. I am glad you two have found this tool and hope it has the same positive effect as it did for me.

    I can sympathize with the desire to keep going. I would get to the point of pre-cum dripping. When chaste several weeks, I could simply arch my back w/o further touching when getting to the point of pre-cum dripping off and be able to cross the point of no return with out any further stimulation. I had my rules amended where I was not allowed to edge past ten days chaste as a result. I know you asked in strong terms for another five minutes. Part of edging is instilling the reaction to obey in the face of desires to the contrary. Call this past time a failure and try to obey better in the future. Anyway, that is my suggestion.

    -SH

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  5. 324.....,
    You've got to get a more normal screen name lol, but thanks so much for posting. I hope you will continue to do so again. I love hearing from others.

    As to your comment, I wholeheartedly agree about the confidence thought. Her confidence is there - somewhat - but I do wish it would grow and what I did sure didn't help things. As an example, her response was not to levy a punishment on me and although she locked me up she didn't tell me "I'm doing this because...."

    I need to be better and need to not be so selfish which is what I was being. Thanks again for expressing your thoughts and man I'm glad my domme isn't like yours - I've never had the gag deal before :)

    SH,
    Yes the edging is wonderful, I could do if for an hour if she'd let me and it makes me so horny that I think if she really understood that she'd let me go longer cause I"m sure she would benefit from the physiological effects of the edging process. Stopping is so hard tho. It takes discipline and by in large I can be disciplined but when alone with no Katie to physically say 'stop' it can be doubly heard when my mind says 'keep going, keep going'.

    As an aside, I asked last night if I could edge once again and I got a sarcastic "what?, no way" reply. Oh well. I may have condemned myself to chastity for my past wrongs.
    Hope all is well.

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