Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Camaraderie of Women

May and June are busy travel times for me and this year is no exception. Fortunately for me, Katie was able to join me on a nine-day venture to a part of the country she had never seen. Although I was busy teaching all day long, we shared lunch together and she joined me for the afternoon sessions. What a joy it was to have her with me. We relaxed each evening, walked desolate beaches, enjoying sunsets over crystal clear water, took drives into the country, met some really fun people and generally had a wonderful time.

What struck me during this time was Katie’s desire to maintain contact with her lady friends. I mentioned that I had an idea for another post and she asked what I would be titling it. I said ‘the camaraderie of women’. I told her my thoughts and she generally agreed.  What I noticed was her desire to let her closest girlfriends know of her arrival, of her return, and I found her generally texting or writing short emails periodically to them.  Maybe this is a ‘girl’ thing but during my time away I had no desire whatsoever to text any of my ‘guy’ friends. In fact, they never even entered my mind. My mind was focused on my responsibilities during the day and on Katie the rest of the time.
I read a post by Loving your wife and he spoke of his need to maintain good open communication with his wife. Communication is one of the most treasured and loved qualities women seek (in my opinion). It’s what they long for and it’s interesting to note, it is what typically is not that important to many men.  Take the examples above as an illustration - she greatly desired keeping in touch with her close friends where I had no desire at all.

I don’t know if dominant women harness that male independence, turning their energies and focus to meeting the needs they have, or if submissive males generally lack the close friendships (the ones in which feelings, emotions, worries and joys are expressed) but are able to truly open their hearts to the woman they serve and have pledged their submission.
I don’t know if either thought is correct but what I do know is that continuous open conversation between a husband and a wife is critical to cultivating a deep and growing relationship. It is for this reason that I believe one of the greatest gifts a man can give a woman is his submission where his focus is unidirectional; where his heart is keenly tuned to the needs of his dominant partner; and where the two can openly share from their hearts on a daily basis.  This is something that is not a natural tendency for me, yet it is one of the things I love most about my relationship with Katie. We talk lots. We text lots. We email lots. Generally we communicate all the time and it has helped us to grow ever closer.   I hope you too see the importance of this in your own lives.


  1. Mr. IH,

    Great post. My wife requires me to stay in contact with her through the day. I find it helps greatly with empathy. I believe that is a skill women are much better at then men and it may explain why women are more in tune with their friends and desire to keep lines of communication open.

    Glad you two enjoyed time together. You two deserve it.


  2. Thanks SH. As to the final comment "you two deserve it".... now you're getting into philosophical territory. Do we deserve anything? lol

  3. Sorry for putting a ripple or two in the calm of the esoteric pool.