Sunday, May 8, 2011
Female Superiority – Katie’s Take
Last night I read parts one and two of the Female Superiority posts to Katie. We went through these posts piece by piece. I asked lots of questions wanting to be sure I understood her thoughts and perspective on this topic. As I suspected, she agreed with the writer Beckie believing women superior to men but maybe not to the degree that Beckie believes they are. For example Katie believes that women tend to do better in life when without a spouse whereas she feels men tend to 'scramble more' to find a replacement. She believes they are more secure and more self sufficient - on the whole. She believes they are better at running a home, child rearing, socializing, being in touch with their own feeling and emotions and better able to share those feelings. She believes they, on the whole, are more independent and she feels that in our situation, she is a better decision maker than I. She is definitely less impulsive and can maintain better perspective in putting needs before wants. As to intellect, she feels there is no difference and concedes that men are obviously stronger physically. (My note: Beckie's comment on women being physically more complex is pretty weak as she totally ignores the strength/endurance/power aspect of the physical and focuses solely on one body system - the reproductive... WEAK!!!! :)
As I read through Beckie’s statements that had to do with the application of her belief I kept asking Katie if she too felt this way and if this was the way that we would be living once married – the way I would be living, to be more specific. The answer she gave me to most all of my questions was a resounding yes. As I read Beckie’s posts I highlighted those areas where Katie specifically made comments as to how she felt. Here are her responses to Beckie’s statements.
Beckie writes: “But what woman wouldn’t want to have a marriage where what she said was final, where her husband would obey her and desire her?”
Katie agreed. That is what she wants as well. She told me something I already knew; that she obviously wants my unconditional love and affection but also expects that I will obey her every word; that I will view her word as final; that she will make all decisions that impact us and that I will abide by her decisions once they are made.
Beckie writes: “What wife wouldn’t want a home where the housework, cleaning, laundry, washing dishes, scrubbing the bathroom, were her husband’s job, where she would be free to pursue more fulfilling interests?”
I asked if this was going to be my job as well. She told me no, that my job was first to earn an income but after I came home, I was to care for the home by doing all that Beckie has her husband doing: laundry, cleaning, cooking, dusting, sweeping, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom and generally maintaining the home. Katie told me she would very much like to not have to worry about those chores so that she would have free time and frankly because those were chores she didn’t enjoy. I knew this already but I also know that she helps me often with my chores. The difference lies in that the chores are mine. Although we often work side-by-side sharing them I am the one that is obligated at all times to make sure they are completed whereas she has the freedom to help or leave it all to me.
Beckie writes: “How many would enjoy those more fulfilling pursuits during the day while he is at work earning money for her to enjoy?”
Katie would prefer not to work. She would much rather be free to do what she wanted, to enjoy volunteering or socializing with other women. She would rather have the choice to sleep in and have time to exercise than have to work although she wouldn’t mind working if it was limited to part-time. To be fair in this description, I thoroughly love my job and really don’t look at it as ‘work’. Yes there are those times when I wish I could take a vacation but I never feel like I want to quit and do something else.
Beckie writes: “What wife wouldn’t love to have control of his paycheck and manage all the finances?”
I was told last evening that we will have but one checking account and it will be hers. That is a change in thinking from past thoughts. As Katie has had more time to process some of these D/s ways, I see her taking a more controlling approach. She told me I would have an allowance but she would take care of our budget and all bills and that I will arrange to have my employer deposit my weekly earnings into her account. She isn’t sure yet if she will allow me use of a debit card at this point should I have an emergency expense.
Beckie writes: “What female wouldn’t love to be worshiped as a goddess? If men only could understand that female superiority would be the ideal for them. Men are created for worship. Women are created to receive worship.”
Katie agreed wholeheartedly with this statement. I asked her specifically if men were made to worship women to which she agreed. I asked if women were created to worship men. To that statement she disagreed. For the sake of clarity I asked for her definition of worship. What does it mean for me to worship her? Her reply was it meant doing all those above things in this post. Specifically my worship to Katie is to include: cooking, cleaning, pampering, complimenting, showing affection, adoration and obedience. She expects me to do things that make her life easier and more pleasant. She expects me to obey her. She expects me to relinquish all sources of power (my will, my independence, my finances, my time, my sexual freedoms) and give them to her to control as she wishes BECAUSE she feels she can lead the two of us best and because she wants the power to decide all things pertinent to our daily lives together. She expects me to privately and publically exalt her, showing intentional and purposeful affection and courtesy. She expects me to adore her through the affection I show as well as the gifts she desires me to give as they express my love and appreciation to her as my wife and dominant partner. She expects me to treat her as my superior in all that I do, say, think and believe.
So the question that begs to be asked if you have read my take on Female Superiority (previous post) is how do we resolve our differing views? She believes in female superiority. I don’t. The answer to this is there is nothing to work out, not because we necessarily disagree but simply because I have pledged my submission to her authority. Therefore, what she says is what I do. What she expects now becomes the level to which I must perform. What she tells me is what I am to do. How she wants to be treated is how I will treat her. Whether or not she is superior to me or not is really not the issue. That she is the authority figure in our relationship is all that matters and from that one single fact the practical fall-out to how that will affect me and her follows that natural order, falling into place perfectly.
It’s analogous to driving down a highway and wondering if a police officer is around the next bend with her radar gun focused on each approaching car. Well if the driver is not speeding then it is irrelevant whether or not the officer is there looking for offenders. In the same way, although my view differs from hers, it doesn’t matter because my prime directives are service and obedience and unconditional love. It doesn’t matter that she feels one way and I the other. In my mind it’s really a matter of semantics.
I love Katie. I sincerely trust her in all she does and in the decisions she has and will make on our behalf. I see my life as becoming busier but it is what I have asked. Busy is just means that I have less personal time, less time for me but in marrying Katie I will pledge to love and put her first in my life. Katie only wants to insure that I do and by keeping me under her watchful eye, caring for her at all times, she insures that my vow remains true; that I continue to love, serve and remain obedient to her word. Maybe she really is the superior one. I don’t know. I just know that