Friday, May 6, 2011

Female Superiority – my take

I’ve been thinking about the phrase ‘female superiority’ for some time. Several blogs that I follow purposely affirm the superiority of women. Are women better than men? Tonight I read the complete two-part post in the Worshipping your Wife blog. If you have not read this I'd encourage you to do so. Here are the links to part one and part two. I found the letters by ‘Beckie’ interesting and stimulating but in the end she didn’t convince me that women are superior, although I do agree with many of her points as well as her views on men as they relate to caring for a woman. She puts forth the premise that women are not equal but superior to men intellectually, emotionally, physically, economically, academically, etc.
The question I keep asking myself is this: Is Katie my superior? If I were to follow Beckie’s logic I would need to replace the word ‘superior’ with words such as ‘stronger, smarter, wiser, more educated, more attractive, more mature, emotionally more stable, etc since those are the very things that Beckie advocates.
To me, the answers to those questions are irrelevant and here is an example why I believe that is so. I’m a professor; I am the ‘superior’ one in the classroom. My students do what I say, I’m the one that grades them, assesses them, and critiques them. According to Beckie, I am superior. Am I the smartest one in the classroom but am I the most gifted academically? No I am not. There are students that have a higher aptitude than I, although I know more about the subject matter for the course than they do. Am I the the strongest, the most emotionally stable, the one with the best verbal skills? The answer to that is most likely ‘no’ in all cases. I am one and they are many.  The difference lies in the fact that I have the power and they don’t. That mere fact makes all these other variables a nonentity. I make the rules. They do what I say. End of discussion. That fact makes me ‘superior’ even though I am not superior to my students when singling out individual talents, abilities and skills
When I bring the topic back to Katie and I, there is but one variable: power, and Katie has it all. I gave it to her. She’s the ‘professor’. She judges me; assesses me; makes the rules; gives me the syllabus with all the requirements needed to ‘pass her course’. She is the final judge. Does that make her superior? I don’t know and it really doesn’t matter. I am not in love with Katie because she is superior and I am inferior to her in every way. If that were true, why would she ever be attracted to me? Don’t you think that she would want a man that is stimulating, challenging, emotionally mature, her equal intellectually, able to converse deeply, share honestly, having outgrown those adolescent insecurities? I do. I find that Katie fits that bill for me and I think if you asked her, she’d say the same about me.
Is she wise? She sure is. Does she have a perspective on things that amazes me time and again? Absolutely. Is she the more attractive one? I say she sure is and I hate to see other men’s eyes checking her out (makes me want to go up and deck them J), is she smarter than I? In some areas yes, in other areas no. Is she more talented than I? Again, yes and no, depending on what talent to which we are referring.  I could go on and on but the point remains, all this is mute because it’s not about what Beckie says it’s about a power exchange.
And one more thing…. Beckie points out the best of the best but what if we are talking about those girls that didn’t graduate 1st but 100th? What if we refer to those girls that only go to a community college and not on to get their PhD? What if we are talking about….. Can you see where I am going with this? Dominance and submission has all to do with power and nothing to do with a comparison of talents, intelligence and other such qualities.
I’m done my rant and need to go take care of Katie. She’s calling me to massage her rhomboids and longissimus muscles. Oh my, Katie doesn’t even know those muscles even exist, but look who it is that is enjoys being the massaged nightly; the one who holds the power, not the more knowledgeable one in anatomy. Why, because she holds the power. Shes my Domma and me, well,….


  1. Excellent. I cannot quibble. Alas, my wonderful wife is not really interested in power... except maybe in the financial area. She is, as I have said before, an incurable egalitarian, and moreover one who does not feel herself worthy of worship. I have, after many years, succeeded in seducing her stealthily into picking up lots of pieces of power that I have abdicated, enough that our FLR is a pretty impressive and self-sustaining thing. So why not try the female superiority angle? I think she might be more susceptible there, to be categorically my superior, and thus worthy of worship. That's my story anyway.

  2. U r right. It's not about superiority/inferiority. But it's not about power either.

    Relax, open the door to ur mind a bit, and read this:

  3. "Don’t you think that she would want a man that is stimulating, challenging, emotionally mature, her equal intellectually, able to converse deeply, share honestly, having outgrown those adolescent insecurities? I do. I find that Katie fits that bill for me and I think if you asked her, she’d say the same about me."

    Amen to that. It's the same with me and my lady. We fell in love to each other as the persons we are - and *because* we are exactly that persons. Tamara didn't want to spend her life with a wimpy guy who suddenly isn't interested any longer in most of the things which made him attractive to her all the time. She married a man with his idiosyncrasies well known to her, and although people aren't just remaining exactly the same through their lifetime, she certainly has no interest in losing the man she loves and getting him replaced by a quite different character. She married me as a partner to share her life, because she wanted to have a loving counterpart of equal level, a man whom she found compatible to her expectations and wishes - intellectually, personally, sexually, ... She has no interest in that partner developing to a really dependent, spineless automaton who consideres himself indeed unworthy, inferior, incapable etc. etc. ... And equally, I don't have the slightest intent to become something like that.

    I also agree wholeheartedly to what you said about "Beckie" (and other female supremacists) speaking about just the "best of the best". Well, maybe, they are speaking also about a somewhat broader part of women, but certainly nevertheless about the "upper" part of them. I suggest you have a look at the pictures presented on the sites of female supremacists: they show - without any exception - attractive, preferable young, ladies, strong and smart looking. Did you ever wonder why they show never "real" women?

    Some days ago, I had to wait some time at a shopping mall ... and I looked just at the women passing the bench I was sitting at: the young, the old, the teens and grannies, the business women, the house wives, the charwomen and the bummers. And I asked myself, if I could imagine "submitting" to that special woman, or to that, or that ... and I came to the conclusion, that - just judging about their appeareance, knowing absolutely nothing else about them - there was maybe one out of fiveteen or twenty, whom I could *imagine* to be acceptable as a somewhat superior woman to me. I strongly suggest our female superiority friends to simply try this little experiment themselves, and see, whether they could imagine a bigger percentage of woman than me really having some "superior" traits. And, please, don't look just at those attractive, strong and smart looking women one sees over and over on the pictures on female supremacy sites, look at *real* women, look at the women around you! At least I found the idea that I should show deference to all of those women passing by, just because they are women, completely ridiculous.

    (I wont speak about the women I indeed know better than just their appereance. If I look at the intellectual abilities - or the lack of them - of my students, for instance, I don't see a difference between men and women at all.)


  4. Ayesha,
    Thanks for commenting. I went to your blog the other day when I was reading the comments you posted on Marks'... Cordilla, etc. You have a style of writing that is both interesting and hard for me to get to the essence of what it is you are saying. So with that, I need to ask this.... what do you mean with this comment

    You posted on your take on power, then you said, "Do you know what is even more powerful? A relentless desire to look into the soul of ur soul slave (if u have one), and find the treasures she’s hiding. As for me? It turns me on the mega way, not only to look for them, but also to force them out of her, to give her no rest, till our souls collide and explode, creating one new supernova.

    Specifically two questions - how do you get a peak into the soul, and what kinds of treasures might one find?

    Love to hear your thoughts. Stop back again.

  5. Mark, take your wife out for ice cream on me. I purchased your book so you are about $10 richer I suppose. Not through it yet as I read about 30 pages then got busy with life. Anyway, I agree that what you and I are doing is not living with a wife that is cracking the whip and becoming powerful as much as yielding our desire to KEEP the power we have and forgo using it and thus giving her more control, more 'power' if you will to lead the relationship to their liking. I'm pretty new at this and have much to learn. Ayesha's style scares me frankly. Her style intimidates me - maybe because I don't know her. She's probably a pussycat deep down inside. :)

    Me, I want to remain in love, I want to be able to be all that I said in my post with the woman I love dearly - what Rene commented on - that equal part of being challenging intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, physically and thereby growing closer and more intimate. Thanks for posting. Hope to read 'part 3' on your blog at some later point.

  6. Rene,
    You require me to think in order to get a comment out of you! lol. I think you and I are more alike than we both suspect, at least it sure seems that way from the various comments you've posted over the past few months. We have a lot in common, so much so that Katie asked the other day, "wouldn't you like to meet the people that comment on here and see what they are really like?" She was referring to you and Tamara as I was talking about something your wife had posted not to long ago.

    Now, my next post is going to be on Katie's take of what Mark posted on superiority. It will be much different than mine so stop back and let me know how you feel about her thoughts. Me, I really don't care as long as she loves me and continues to lead our relationship lovingly and wisely. And she's one hot woman as well!! Yummy!

  7. I'm-Hers, I must confess I haven't read your posting thoroughly, even less the one by Mark Remond. The topic of "Female Superiority" started to bore me quite some time ago.

    However, I did read the comments on both blogs, and these lead me to the conclusion that nobody (well there might be some exceptions) really believes in female superiority anyway, not even the ones who advocate it. Obviously many are fakes, playing the devil's advocate just for fun (this seems to be the case with "BeckieSue" - no idea what he/she/it/they wrote on that topic, but I read the comment Mark Remond deleted afterwards where "BeckieSue" claims to be a bunch of dominant males writing such things for loughs).
    And now even Mark Remond himself admits that he doesn't really believe what he was writing. That was is simply an attempt to manipulate his wife into feeling more worthy of him worshipping her.

    So, it seems that people are just having some sort of absurd sham fights over this topic.

  8. IH, thank you very much for your flattering comment.

    As for me commenting, I'd say that may vary according to my level of busyness, but, of course, I'm more inclined to write down some thoughts if there's something in a post that affects me in some way.

    The topic of female superiority has been such a thing for me for a quite long time, and if you look at SH's blog some months ago, you'll easily see how much we were disputing about it in the past. But I've to say that since quite a while this topic lost it's appeal to me more or less completely.

    I came to realize that to some people the belief in female superiority is nothing less than an important foundation to their approach to FemDom - and that's why they simply can't concede even the smallest inch of ground in that matter, but have to defend it like a quasi-religion tooth and nail.

    As said, during the time, where this topic was somewhat new to me, I found it interesting and stimulating, and - as I readily admit - it broadened my view, because in order to be able to discuss about this topic I had to look for reliable information and learnt quite some things about gender disparity ... but instead to the "superiority" of women, it much more opened my eyes to the huge amount of disparity and "injustice" still existing in our society.

    Tamara said that she finds this topic boring ... and I have to say that I grew to share this attitude for the most part. Especially, since it has absolutely nothing to do with the D/s in my relationship with my lady. Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to Katie's thoughts about it, and - if possible - will write down my thoughts to it.


    Well, about meeting each other: Nice thought! But probably not that easy to put into practice. And I feel it to be telling that Katie asked you her question, when you were talking to her about something *Tamara* had written. :-) I can understand that very well, since I know that I have my views and am able to talk about them, but she manages to convey her well-thought opinion in usually fewer words much more to the point than me, and she even does it usually in a much more winsome way than me - that's one of her "features" which I have been admiring since we first have had a talk with each other.


  9. Tamara,
    I agree and I disagree. On the whole I don't believe that women are the superior sex, no more than I believe men are. I do believe that individually all have 'superior' as well as 'inferior' traits/talents/abilities when compared to another. For example, I am certain you are superior to me when it comes to penmanship and drawing as I have terrible skills. I'd dare say you don't want to challenge me athletically even in my middle age state of life cause I can tell you now... you're going down!! lol. I'm being sarcastic of course but you get the idea.

    Stop back in a day or so and I'll post Katie's take on this. In many ways I think it goes back to semantics as well as a power exchange on the part of the one that is submitting. How controlling the dominant partner wants to be is what I think separates the submissives from slaves.

  10. Rene,
    I wonder if I am where you are some time ago, being newer to the D/s scene than you. This topic was brought to the forefront of my thinking by the Worshipping your Wife blog but for some time I've been thinking about it as SH has strong feelings that he is definitely the inferior on in his marriage.

    Writing for me helps me to process thoughts. It helps me to think through and solidify in my mind what it is that is really in there. I often write drafts and leave them in my blog unposted for awhile and then go back to them to see if I still fee that way. Before posting I always run it by Katie for approval - just something that is our agreed to policy.

    Maybe in a year, the topic will bore me as well. Maybe not. Time will tell. Thanks for chatting.

  11. I'm-Hers,
    Obviously René overrated my ability of getting to the point. I don't know what you thought I was wanting to say, but it obviously wasn't what I tried to convey. You seem to talk about something completely different in your reply.
    Anyway, what I said wasn't that important after all, so I won't try to explain it again.

  12. 1.Trying to explain femdom via patriarchal concepts is futile.

    a) By allowing her/him to look into mine.
    b) By forcing my way in.

    3. The core of his/her personality, raw/pure desires and needs, not yet contaminated by culturally imposed norms, values and beliefs.

  13. Mr. IH,

    I believe men are superior at physical feats. That is why the NLF is void of female players. I do not think it wrong to say conversely women are inferior in physical feats. I think it to be an accurate statement to say so.

    Also, I do think there are many things women are superior in and men are inferior. I think the things women are superior in are quickly having a premium being put on them by our modern society and therefore as statistics prove out, they are advancing quickly and in several indicators, surpassing men. I find it difficult to argue contrary, but several have tried. Mr. Rene in particular seems to have the best argument based on tabula raza concepts that things will more or less come to rest on an egalitarian fulcrum. I personally disagree, but it point can not be discounted since time will tell and currently it is simply banter about reading the tea leaves. In my mind though, with respect to genders, tabula raza is not applicable, as there are clearly things one gender is better at then the other.