Friday, August 12, 2011

Its been a while

To those of you that have read my blog, you would have noticed that it was shut down for a few months.  Much as changed in my life.  I changed jobs and moved closer to my Domme.  I had so much going on in my life for those few months with seeking work, finding a place to live, moving out, moving in, and then getting adjusted to new surroundings, new co-workers, and new ways of doing the 'same' things. I had no time for blogging.  But things are settling and life is good. I am now so much closer to Katie and that is a wonderful gift for me and for her. 

What I found interesting when I renewed my blog and took the time to read the posts from a few bloggers that I enjoy reading is the change in one's life over a period of time.  Reading a summers' worth of blogs is like reading ones' annual Christmas letter where one see an overview of a friends life over the past year.

One blogger has fallen significantly deeper into submission and under the firmer hand of his wife who seems to be asserting her dominance even more. I wish him well. Another has abandoned the D/s lifestyle for a time but recently rekindled their relationhip as Domme and sub. Others have changed very little. One seems to be still wanting more from his wife, others are happily content with life and simply write about those daily events and thoughts of their D/s marriage.

As for me, Katie is slowly ratcheting down the screws, ever so slightly. Of course I hope to be under her firmer controlling hand but that will be left for her to decide.  I can see that she is becoming more content as a Domme. She is more comfortable having me as her service submissive, no longer feeling guilty when I head to the kitchen for my hour or preparing, serving, and cleaning up after every meal.  She relaxes and waits for me to call her to the table or bring each meal to her.  Laundry and vacuuming and general house cleaning has become my permanent responsibility.  She now walks past items she'd normally pick up and leaves them for me to cart to where they need to be taken. I find that I long to hear her words asserting herself as my domme: Words like "pick up that box and put it in the pantry," or "Im going to relax while you make us dinner," or "Go make me breakfast and bring it to me in bed," or "Vacuum the rugs and mop the floors and keep yourself busy straightening the house while I go have a drink with my girlfriend."  I would love to hear those words of dominance. They push my submissive buttons.  

I'm sure that day will come as I can see her changing. She is becoming more comfortable in her Dominance and a confident woman is so sexy. Seeing her living as a Domme makes me proud. It draws me close to her. It fills some inner part of me that seeks to be associated with such a woman. I see Katie becoming that woman. She's not there yet, but she is further along the path than at the beginning of the year. Her love for me is without end but her attitude about who she is and who I am is becoming clearer.  Next step (I hope), verbalizing and asserting herself daily - reminding me that we are not equals but reminding her too, that she has the right to control my life as she chooses. I wonder if we will arrive at that juncture. What a wonderful step that would be.
Until later,
I'm-Hers! 

4 comments:

  1. Hello,
    nice to have you back.
    I'm glad that everything is fine with you.

    You write: I find that I long to hear her words asserting herself as my domme: Words like "pick up that box and put it in the pantry," or "Im going to relax while you make us dinner," or "Go make me breakfast and bring it to me in bed," or "Vacuum the rugs and mop the floors and keep yourself busy straightening the house while I go have a drink with my girlfriend." I would love to hear those words of dominance. They push my submissive buttons.

    Well, when I try to say something like that, René usually takes it as criticism. He thinks I want to criticize him for not having done that task earlier or for not doing enough chores or generally for not meeting my demands. It does not seem to motivate him, quite the contrary.
    Maybe I just don't use the right words - or it is because of our history.
    Anyway, I am quite sure that, over time, Katie will find the right words for you.

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  2. Tamara,
    Thanks for writing. I'm glad you found me after a few months hiatus. As to your comment, statements, to me, demonstrate authority. They are direct. They are to the point. They leave no room for discussion. Questions do. They are less direct. They allow the recipient to choose. My hope is that Katie becomes more direct. More decisive, not because I want her to me mean but because I want her to grow in her own personal confidence and self-esteem. That is what I find so sexy,so appealing. Yet I understand how Rene feels. When people make statements I tend to take them personally rather than just looking at the statement for what it is.

    I wonder how you feel when you make them and why you make them. Is it to assert your dominance? Is it because you have the right? Just curious.

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  3. I wonder how you feel when you make them and why you make them. Is it to assert your dominance? Is it because you have the right? Just curious.
    Well, difficult to say. I don't make such statements very often any more due to bad experiences.
    I remember giving direct orders because I thought that this would be appropriate for a dominant and that it might push Renés submissive buttons. Well, it didn't work.

    My personal confidence and self-esteem grows when I am able to make René do things for me despite his initial resistance and he enjoys doing them. At least he should enjoy the fact that he did them and that he increased my happiness by doing them. - He is not really an easy, willing, obedient sub, you know. I think there is an struggle going on inside him, a struggle between his desire to serve me on the one hand, and his natural laziness and all his other priorities on the other.

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  4. I can identity with the laziness aspect. There is a part of me that loves serving and love 'following' her lead, yet there is a desire within to do what it is that I want - which often is just noting but relaxing or doing what I want. I love knowing that your confidence grew as it did by directing him as that is what I want in Katie as well - a strong confident secure woman who knows I will always be at her side.

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