Monday, August 15, 2011

The Mystery of Service Submission

I'm thowing this thought out for a response: In the D/s lifestyle do male submissives seek to serve because when they were young they were brought up to please their mother or other significant female in their life? Do male submissives enjoy pleasing and catering to their dominant partner because they have left home and now seek another female to please?
The desire to serve another by doing more rather than less goes against every instinct that humans have. In that light submission appears unnatural. By nature people chose to do less, not more. They enjoy relaxing, watching TV, going to a movie, going out to eat, taking a vacation, and other such events that require little effort or reduce the effort in ones' day. Individuals would much rather take the easy road than the hard one. So why on earth do men like myself like me ask a woman to dominate and cater to our desires to be service submissives? Why is it that we seek to do more rather than less? Why do we take the harder road and encourage our Domme to relax and enjoy life while we do 'her part' as well as ours? It makes no logical sense, yet there must be a reason. I can say without question that it pleases me when I serve, so much so that I want her to have me do more so she does less. But why? Is it because these tendencies were formed in our childhood BECAUSE we were taught to keep mom happy, or please mom? In my case I think it does, in part, but is it that way with you or your submissive (if you are a domme reading this)? If you don't agree with me, then why do you think you want to be a service submissive to your Domme?
I left Katie this morning and won't see her til Friday. I sent her an email requesting her to find ways to remind me this week that I am indeed her submissive and to assert her dominance even in my absense. I could have said nothing and enjoyed the few days we were apart but in reality, I wanted to send this request. I want her to tell me to do more, and to require me to show discipline in my life. To tempt me sexually yet restrict me from reaching orgasm. I ache for her to make my life more under her dominant hand. But why? Is it because this was how I was raised or is there more to it?
To those that have never posted, I would love to hear your response. You may not have an answer but your thoughts may be helpful to all.
Until Later
I'm Hers


  1. It is usually more fun and motivating to do things if other people are involved. Like cooking. It's not fun to do it for yourself, but if others are going to enjoy the meal, then it is more satisfying. And studies have shown that people become happy by making other people happy, like giving a gift or doing a favor.

    And as far as submission goes, the sub may want to be in a constant state of happiness by giving his time and energy to make his significant other happy.

  2. I'm-Hers,

    I suppose your main intent while writing this entry was to provoke discussion/contradictioin.

    You said you think that your submissive tendencies were (at least partially) caused by your being tought to "please mom". Do you think you were taught to please your mom to a much greater extent than other children? Do you have siblings? Were they brought up differently? Or are they all service-oriented towards women/one woman like you?

    Surely, our upbringing has a certain influence on us, but I don't think that it can be as simple as you imply.

    What about girls who were taught to "please mum"? Do you think they have a tendency to become lesbian submissives?
    Or do you think the fact that there are so much more submissive heterosexual women around is caused by girls being taught to "please dad" (while boys usually don't have to please anybody, which makes them dominant)?

    Maybe it would help if you could elaborate a little on your own childhood. Are your sure you were taught to please? Can you give some examples of how this education worked? Maybe you didn't need much training in this area, after all. Maybe you just have an innate service-oriented character and therefore you have always needed somebody to please and serve, and your mother was your natural first "servee"?

    As for René, I don't think he is as service-oriented as you are. I don't know much about his childhood, but I don't have the impression that he goes out of his way to please his mother, or that he wants to please her more than he wants to please his father. - I don't know why he has certain submissive tendencies, and to be honest, I haven't given it much thought.

    Do you really think you have to find a reason why you are like this? Why would you like to know? Would you like to devise an educational method to make children service-oriented (or prevent them from becoming service-oriented)?

    You know, many parents of homosexuals ask themselves over and over again: "What have I done wrong?" - Well. Nothing. I don't think that parents can make their children homosexual, and I don't think they can make them become service-oriented submissives, either. - Of course everything we experience has a certain impact on us, but our parents are only a small part of your childhood. We usually have grandparents, siblings, other relatives, teachers, peers - and we have our congenital character traits.