Thursday, November 17, 2011

Three weeks down, Five to go. I love being 'here'

In July of last year Katie decided she wanted to try putting me into the CB6000 partly to please my curiosity but also to demonstrate more dominance and control over me and to curb my propensity to masturbate when we were apart. At first she made me wear it a day or so, then told me to stay out for a few days as she felt bad locking me up 'too much'. In the weeks that followed my time in chastity progressed to wearing the 6000 whenever I was at work but never at night as she was sympathetic to the discomfort night erections caused me.  However that concern slowly vanished as she eventually told me to wear it 24/7 except when with her. (Note: We are not yet married and I live some distance away from her so I don't see her on a daily basis). When we are together she insists I unlock so she can fondle me at her whim and also because she absolutely hates feeling the plastic against her back or beneath her leg when we are together in bed cuddling or sleeping.

So for me I have never experienced complete lock-up for more than a weeks' time. Instead my time in the tube has been typically only for a few days before being let out.  Along with her routine of locking and unlocking me has been my orgasm control.  At first, her preference was for me to orgasm every time we made love, which typically was several times a week.  That pattern became the status quo for many months before she decided to limit me to weekly orgasms - give or take a day or two.  It wasn't until I made the mistake of bringing up longer periods of denial that she decided to take me up on my idea earlier this month because she wondered how I would react to the extended period of denial. Little did I know she'd go for this since she so much enjoys being able to make me ejaculate and then reinforcing her dominance by instructing me to consume after ejaculating. 

I know that I am not alone in this locking/unlocking trend although the vast majority of blogs I've read speak of men in chastity that don’t follow my experience. Rather, they speak of a dominant woman locking them up and then leaving them locked until she is ready for him to orgasm after which she locks him once again and repeats the cycle.  I have never experienced that type of control and I do not know the feelings involved while under that form of  'abstinence' control.  Those that have indicate after about three weeks time under lock and key their psyche begins to change. They report becoming more docile, obedient, affectionate and submissive to their dominant partner.  I've never had those feelings either as I've never been limited to a monthly (or longer) release cycle.

What I've experienced is a blend of both chastity while being teased and denied for short periods. However with Katie's recent decision to extend my time to orgasm until Christmas, I am finding that prolonged tease and denial (without orgasm) has elicited both the most enjoyable as well as the most frustrating feelings I've yet encountered. These feelings are different and I think the source is the length of time since I last released. No, I don’t feel submissive, docile, or more passive. Rather I feel the opposite. I feel sexually charged. I am more horny now than ever. To have the privilege of making love with her; to be encouraged to push myself to the edge of self-control and then to remain there before being told she's had enough elicits paradoxical feelings of pleasurable intimacy as well as an agonizing desire to ejaculate - yet not ejaculate for to do so would mean the end of these 'feelings'. The frustration of wanting to comply yet wanting release increases sexual tension and causes me to remain sexually charged long after we've risen and moved on to other activities that make up ones' day. 

What I've found personally as I am now three weeks into being denied is a desire every time we lay together to be intimate.  I want her. I want her to be open to being intimate.  I ache for the time when she tells me she wants me and find myself disappointed when she tells me it's time to get up or time to go to sleep. I understand that we won't be intimate every day, yet that is what I now want.  When those times arrive the fact that I won’t be reaching orgasm becomes a mute point. What does matter is knowing she will be touching me, stroking me, using me – and all of that attention will fuel the fire that makes me want to love and lust after her all the more. Those emotions are becoming more powerful as the days since my least release lengthen. I want to be able to please her and when she allows me to do so, those feelings are quite intense. Although the emotions and closeness to her are wonderful the fact that I can please her yet once again is even better. There is nothing better than bringing her to several orgasms in the morning before rising or before cuddling and falling asleep at night – and left aching for release as well. 

What's the benefit to all of this for both of us? I find that yes, I am becoming more affectionate during the day.  Horny may be a better choice of words than affectionate but regardless I find myself wanting to touch, hug, kiss and caress her often.  Katie has been feeding my passion for her by flirting and expressing her love for me in return. A simple squeeze of my crotch now goes a long way to ensure I am going to continue with my attention to her than she could ever imagine. The power of being denied is strong. My desire for her is growing. The power she has in controlling me sexually is unmistakable. And all of this is fun for both of us.  I love being under her control and she loves knowing she can make me ache for her so easily.

I keep thinking to myself, and told her so this morning, "are really going to make me wait another five weeks?" I'm aching for her. I think the feelings are more intense because of the tease along with the denial. But I’m loving it. I’m loving the feelings. I’m loving being sexually charged. I’m loving being under her power. I can't wait for her to excite me sexually while she enjoys my body for her pleasure and experiences the orgasms she so much deserves yet continues to deny me yet again telling me "it's not Christmas yet".  I've never experienced such feelings of want throughout the day as I've felt this past week.  Yes, it's taken at least two weeks for me to feel the intensity of my abstinence. Having not been denied for this long of a time is a first. Orgasming weekly isn't didn’t make me feel this way. This is different and I love it. 

I don't believe I'd be feeling this way if I was just locked and left alone to wait. Being denied is one thing but being denied while being teased is another. For me, it's the best of both worlds. It feels wonderfully frustrating (in a good way) and I am hoping that my sexual intensity continues to grow as the days since my last orgasm mount.  If it does, I wonder if I will actually ask to be denied beyond Christmas!!  Now wouldn't that be ironic - to want yet not to want release.  I'm not ready to ask - at least not yet. But who knows, maybe she will give me the gift of release OR if she will give me the gift of continued sexual frustration that feels oh so good right now. I'm not sure what I want, but I'm starting to hope for one more than the other.

I'd love to hear you comments. Thanks for taking the time to visit and read.
I'm-Hers

7 comments:

  1. Mr IH, what you describe, and if I may say so, describe very well, is a feeling that us submissive men yearn for more than almost any other. It's no wonder some women get a little confused about what is punishment and what is reward.

    You sum it up very well when you say, "I love being under her control and she loves knowing she can make me ache for her so easily". It is this desire by the woman to make their man "ache with desire", that seems to be missing in so many wives or girl friends. Maybe it's because they don't want so much sexual attention, maybe it's because they don't understand and think it's cruel, whatever the reason, I personally think that they are missing something very special.

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  2. AAT, thanks for commenting. I think its taken Katie this long to figure this out. That she can have her cake - have me please her - and eat it too - meaning having me be continuously filled with desire for her - and be pleased more than she can imagine in denying me the very thing that I want so much, yet don't want - orgasm vs being denied.
    I sometimes dont understand it myself but I can say that this last week has been much different than any week because of the combination of T&D along with prolonged denial.
    Don't give up in your own situation. It just may take some time for her to understand the full power she has in keeping you from reaching orgasm.

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  3. Enjoyed your post. Chastity is so incredible when the keyholder is engaged, as Katie clearly is. It makes the frustration so delicious you don't want it to end! Left and locked is not much fun. That has been a bit of an issue for us lately, my wife has been less engaged due to work demands, so she's been more inclined to leave me unlocked. I understand, and admit it is better to be out at those times. Though it doesn't take long for me to miss the control. Of course, life happens, so very few couples can probably remain totally engaged with chastity each and every day.

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  4. I'm enjoying Katie's progression with the concept of orgasm denial, as well as your reaction to it. What's more, she's clearly into the tease aspect, and your overflowing desire to ejaculate is being offset by your enjoyment of the tease. Tease and denial versus release creates a huge quandary for your psyche, keeps you off balance, and ultimately makes you wonder which you want more.

    The answer, of course,is that you want both, and this gives her enormous power over, and control of, you. Such a situation makes me warm inside, and as Katie sees what she has wrought, I predict (hope, actually) she'll delve into other aspects of dominance. She's yet to discover the concept of punishment/reward, for instance, and if she does, well, be ready for the ride of your life.

    Sounds like some good times ahead. What do you think?

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  5. Lady Gray,
    Thank you for posting. I always enjoy the perspective of a Mistress when I post. Maybe its because so few respond but I think you offer the unique perspective of one who thinks differently than the submissive that typically comments.

    You mention that T and D 'keeps me off balance' to wonder what I want more. I think that would be only if I didn't know when she was going to allow me to ejaculate. However, I do. Or at least I know it won't be til at least late December. Yes, I want her all the time and yes, once stimulated I want release but I have to exert that discipline as to when to tell her to stop, or make my self stop in the case of intercouse.

    As I stated above to LH, I don't know if she yet realizes the full control potential she has by teasing me to ENHANCE the emotional control over me. Mr. SH commented just this week how his wife grabbed and fondled him for a few minutes at some point during the day. I'm sure those few minutes stayed at the forefront of his mind for several hours. That is what I don't think Katie fully grasps. But she may as she is just learning and exploring the whole aspect of longer denial.

    As to the punishment and reward..... Ms Gray, I'm such a good guy that I don't ever get punished :) so this is a mute point! lol I can tell you I've only been sternly punished once (whipped) and that was because I did big wrong. Otherwise punishment has not been a part of our relationship. As to reward..... I've never really given it much thought and really don't know how she would use reward as a part of our relationship. Hmmmm. I'll have to give it more thought. I"ll explore your blog as I'm sure you've written about it.

    Thanks again for posting and feel free to comment whenever. You're presence is most welcome.
    IH

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  6. omg. What a helpful description of what you are going through. I haven't been locked up, and have some, er, concerns about how I'd fare, lol!
    I can only picture what you are going through-- the changes are very interesting. You KNOW you will have the best Xmas ever (though, I find myself rooting for you to get Xmas early!)

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  7. SS,
    Your comment made me smile. You know I'm doing fine now but for the wrong reasons - last week I accidently went too far and came while we made love. Ugh!!! So I"m about a week back into being denied and have to start the process all over. It's amazing what orgasm vs denial does to one's psyche. I'd encourage you to ask your significant other to try it on you..... and fyi, I've not been locked up at all as I'm in between chastity devices, waiting for a new one to arrive so it really has nothing to do with being locked but everything to do with being teased and denied. Hope you enjoy your weekend.

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