Katie and I had spent several days together. Our relationship is and always has been wonderful but during the past few days we've been especially close physically and emotionally. We've made love once, often twice, a day. She's kept me in denial for over a month and has teased me constantly during those times. My emotions have been on edge as a result - meaning - I feel very close to her. I want to be intimate, I want to touch her, be affectionate and pamper her however I can. I also have a near-continuous ache in my groin from the teasing and prolonged denial. All of this has made me feel especially close to her.
We shared a morning of intimacy on Sunday. She had lubricated my cock with olive oil and brought me to the edge of an orgasm more than once. She had me make love with her after and I was once again brought to the edge several more times as she herself reached her own climax more than once. She was nearing another and I wanted so bad to let her reach this one as well, but I couldn't. I was so close to one myself that I just couldn't take her 'there' without ejaculating - something she told I was not to do 'today'. At that moment with a thousand feelings going on inside, I begged her if I could finish her orally but she told me 'no'. I asked if I could finish her manually but received the same answer. I asked if I could withdraw but again was told 'no' once more. She held me tight, not letting me pull out, not letting me please her as I wanted, and all the while I felt like I was going to cum at any moment. I don't know what happened but it was in that moment - with me on the very edge of an orgasm that I was not permitted to have for the umteenth time in the last several days; it was me now five weeks into being continually teased and denied; it was the two of us, breathing hard, our bodies intertwined, both at the edge of an orgasm, but with me not daring to cum but with no place to go to seek release that I lost it.
I don't know what came over me but I just started to sob. It was a tearless sob, but a sob nevertheless. It was a sob of realization - a joyful realization - that Katie really did own me. I saw her dominance and my submissiveness in a new light at that moment. I felt owned! The reality of the pledge I had given her over 18 months ago just revealed itself to me with a new level of reality. I really had made the choice to give myself to her. I really had decided to bow to her will and power. I really was owned. It was that word: owned, that kept pulsing through my head. I was an owned man - it was of my own free will yes, but still, I was in the arms and now lived under the wish of my owner.
Although we have a healthy relationship in which we discuss, laugh, share and communicate about all things, all the time, she is indeed the alpha. She controls me. She owns me. She, not me, makes the critical decisions that impacts the two of us. I am her submissive, not just in that moment where I wanted to cum but couldn't, wanted to make her cum but couldn't, and wanted to withdraw my cock from her but couldn't, but completely. I really had yielded my will to her. I really had decided to obey and serve as her inferior.
As I sobbed for that minute or two she said nothing but held me tight as we lay side-by-side still in the act of making love. I kissed her face and neck repeatedly while pulling her body as close to me as I could. The emotions passed but the reality of her owning me remained. I told her I loved her. I told her I was hers. We kissed and made love again. I felt so close to her. I wanted nothing else but to be known as hers.
I am aware, in some forms of therapy that they speak of 'emotional releases' - those times when a patient suddenly cries out, yells, or experiences some form of significant emotional response when a truth or repressed emotion is finally identified and acknowledged. I believe I had one of those same experiences. Yet I knew that I was her sub, that she was the dominant partner, that I was there to care for, love and submit to her. Yet something significant happened that brought all of that out into the light that was different. I don't quite know what to make of it but it was a noteworthy moment for me as her submissive that I wanted to share with you.
I wish you well as you read and would love to hear your thoughts.