Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Starting Week 7 of Being Denied
I mentioned in earlier posts that Katie has taken the liberty to deny me for a period much longer than I've ever been denied. To be honest it was me that said half serious, half jesting at the end of October when I mentioned something about not cumming until Christmas. Katie took that statement to heart and it has been since about November 1 that I've last orgasmed.
What I've felt has not been consistent during this
time. It took me about a week-and-a half before I felt what I will call frustrated or horny than usual. That feeling lasted about a week until I had a ruined orgasm. For the week after that, those feelings of desire left me but returned with even greater intensity toward the end of the month and lasted up until Sunday morning. It was then that I had this intense emotional outpouring that I elaborated on in the previous post. I was massaging Katie last night before we crashed for the night and mentioned that I have need suprisingly docile or at peace for the last two days. I wonder if my emotions simply crashed and that 'emotional energy' was below normal. Whereas I was semi-erect for hours on end during the days before my sobbing epiphany and could instantly be brought to full arousal in seconds with a simple touch from Katie, I was now facid and remained so all day long. Only once or twice a day would I feel a hardness or look at her with a longing or lust for more. To be honest, it was a period of peace and contentment where I could live free of the testosterone surge that had been at the forefront of my day for the better part of the previous week or so.
However, today I felt again, for the first time since last weekend, that ache in my groin returned. I feel it now as I write - probably because I am focusing on Katie and the hope that she will allow me to be intimate with her again tonight - or that she will arouse me with desire, knowing that tonight will not be the night for my next release.
I did ask her if she had a date in mind to which she replied 'no'. I pushed her a little bit and asked if she had decided if it would be at least til Christmas which she said "yes, unless I get the urge to have some fun with you before that." Ugh. So what did I learn? Nothing. Well I guess I learned that she is committed to not being committed - that's pretty typical for her and as much I wish I knew when, I'm glad that I don't. But I really would like this to end so I can start afresh once more - but then again..... I love being under her control and obeying her and feeling this way. I dont' know what I want any more! lol.