But the weekend ended and work returned. With work, so did my time away from Katie and the return of the Jailbird returning me once more to live within the steel cage. I both enjoy and dislike that thing. The feel of it is a constant reminder that I am hers, that all other women are off-limits, that I am a submissive and live a life that is different than most men, and that I am under the control of a woman that controls my sexual activity and even the ability to touch my genitals. Yet it is a hassle. I need to urinate sitting. I have to be careful that I don't accidently bump or brush into another person when quarters are close and it's uncomfortable to run with it on. I would prefer to sleep without it on but that is a choice not for me to make. And so it is on once more and will remain so until I see her later this week.
On another note I am now at day 23 since I was last permitted an orgasm. I did have one self-ruined one when we made love a week ago but for those that have experienced a ruined orgasm, there is no pleasure with the leakage, only a feeling of 'I shouldn't have let myself get that close to the edge'. I feel guilty and disappointed in myself that I lacked the discipline to withdraw when I was so close.
But now that I've been down this road before, 23 days doesn't seem like a big deal. I've made it past the 100 day mark previously and so 23 really doesn't seem that long of a time to go without anymore. Yes, I am horny especially after she uses our lovemaking times as a tease. I want her badly. I want her body. I want her to invite me back inside her again. I find that the day or so after she denies me my desire for his increased significantly. I can't get enough of her. I want to be with her, wait on her, take care of her, please her. I want to touch, kiss, fondle and be close to her. I love being that way. She loves me being that way as well and now knows the power that tease along with denial has on my psyche. It seems to bring out those qualities she enjoys most in me - my passion as well as my submissive servitude.
I hope other Domme's see the value of denying their sub and would encourage submissives to request that your Domme take and put the key away for a good long time. Both of you will benefit from it...... that is, if teasing is part of the day.