Saturday, May 19, 2012

Love Languages

The other day I read A Queen and her Knights blog and decided to take the same quiz that Angelique referred to.  I asked Katie if she would do the same. Here are our love language scores.

Love Language Scores:
                            Katie’s Results           My Results
Words of Affirmation              6               8  
Quality Time                           5               8 
Receiving Gifts                        1               3 
Acts of Service                       8               0 
Physical Touch                      10              11

I find our results interesting.  We seek the same thing – almost. 

We both want each other to tell how much we are loved and appreciated. 

We want to spend time with each other. However, the need on my part for both having her tell me she loves and appreciates me as well as my need to be with her is greater.  I wonder if I am a bit more insecure than she. I have a sense that is the case. I do need her. I do need to be with her. I do need to touch her. I do need to hear that she appreciates my work. I ache to be with her. I am pretty certain that I view her as my rock and security as well as the dominant woman I so love.  

We both love physical touch which makes our desire to hug, kiss, cuddle, sit close to one another, massage (me giving and her receiving) something we both enjoy and don't tire of.

Neither of us has our love kindled primarily when we buy each other gifts.  

But Katie loves to be pampered whileI don’t find that a way to feel loved.  I find that one discrepancy interesting.  She loves my acts of service.  Yes, she loves having a sub that is there to love her and do those chores and duties that she cares not to do. She loves to be served.  And here am I, her sub, and there to meet that need of hers

Her desire is to serve. My desire is to be with her. Both of our desires is to be touched and to communicate. I love how we mesh as a couple. I think we have wonderfully complimentary personalities to Dominate and submit. 

If you are interested in seeing how you scored click here and see how you score.


  1. I haven't read much about the Love Languages. But in the explanation to the test result it says:
    "The highest score indicates your primary love language [...] The lower scores indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and which probably don't affect you very much on an emotional level."
    So, the Primary Love Language is supposed to be the one we both want to hear and prefer to speak.
    So, if you score 0 on Acts of Service, this would normally mean that you neither want to receive nor give acts of service as a token of love, whereas Katie's 8 would mean that she not only wants to receive acts of service in order to feel love, but that it would also be very natural to her to give such acts.

    So it should be rather difficult for you to give Acts of Service, and rather difficult for her to abstain from giving them to you, shouldn't it?

    According to your test results, for you acts of service have nothing to do with love. So your submission would be something clearly separated from love. This is rather confusing to me. - Well, maybe the key to this problem lies in the structure of the test. If I remember correctly, it only asks if it makes you feel loved when you are "spoken to" in the various "love languages". - It then jumps to the conclusion that the language you want to hear is also the language you prefer to speak, which is not necessarily the case, especially in a D/s relationship.

  2. Acts of service refers to the one that scores High in that area to feel loved when another person does something nice or helpful to/for them. I don't feel the need for someone to wait on me.... eg. others doing nice things for me doesn't make me feel loved, wanted, needed, but it's the opposite for Katie. When others help her, wait on her, treat her as special, it fills her 'love tank' and makes her feel special. Sorry for the misunderstanding.