Thursday, May 24, 2012
What's the Difference?
“Billy, go to your room and clean it! If you don’t you will not be playing with Jimmy later today.”
“George, I told you to wash the dishes an hour ago! Now get them done or you can forget about watching that ballgame tomorrow.”
An area of submission that I am struggling with is the very essence of what makes up a sub – the giving up of one’s rights. I understand the first illustration with the expectation a mother has with a child in trying to teach them discipline but why is it that the grown man, in the second example gives up status, equality and respect to the woman to whom he is married?
Are submissive men insecure? I think deep down they must be. Why else would they want to be ruled, disciplined, and made to be ‘the lesser’ especially when married. I mean, we hear about people marrying someone 15 years their elder and we sometimes say ‘well they are looking for their mother (or father)’. Is there any difference when a man dates or marries a woman significantly older or when a man asks if his wife will become the leader of their home?
Does submission somehow go back to a boy’s childhood and his relationship with his mother? I can say that (right or wrong) my mother raised me in such a way as to associate obedience with pleasing her. When I was good, she liked me. She smiled. I got freedom to do those things I wanted to do. But when I disobeyed her, not only did I do wrong, I was bad. That last phrase is significant because now I too associate disappointment with being bad. Mom punished me. She scolded me. She also didn’t like me – or so I felt. Did that type of reward/punishment affect me as I grew into a man? I think it did. I have a desire to serve and please. I do not like disappointing others – especially Katie. I can’t help but feel bad and feel that she not only is disappointed with my actions but also with me as a person. Because of this, I desire to please her.
And so my question to those Domme’s and subs that read this blog, if you look underneath the surface, do you feel that submission is born and raised in childhood or is it due to some other aspect of life that doesn’t have to do with the mother/son relationship? I’d love to hear your thoughts.