Wednesday, July 11, 2012

The Value of a Role Model

I've spent many years working with athletes and coaches.  I have dealt with thousands of athletes and worked under and/or interacted with hundreds of coaches over the years.  One of the things I find so interesting as I watch coaches work to bring out the best in their players is the difference in approach the veteran coaches use when compared to the novice.  Yes the x's and o'x are an important part of getting a win vs experiencing a defeat but x's and o'x really are a secondary factor in developing winning teams and the experienced coach knows that. The next time you are at an event, watch the coaching staff instead of the players.  If you have the chance to get within ear-shot of a team, listen to the conversations that take place with the coach and how they interact with their players.  Watch a high quality game on TV and pay attention to the camera when it pans to the coach.  I think you will find what you see quite different than what you see when watching a coach that is new to their job.

Veteran coaches know how to motivate. They know when to push and when to rest. They realize that winning starts in the brain of their players and not solely with their skills. They use a variety of teaching methods to get their points across. They focus on doing the little things perfectly rather than focusing on scoring.  They shorten practices as the season ends and the important games approach rather than lengthening practice. They realize the importance of rest.  They plan out road trips so that every minute is thought through so their players have no need to worry about how their day is to be used. They coach during practice days and remain relatively quiet during games. They analyze game situations rather than screaming at their players to do this or that. They think ahead rather than live in the moment. They are good users of the clock. They know how to work an official. 

I have often commented to athletic directors how important a mentoring program would be for new coaches.  Pairing young and old coaches together so the younger can learn from the older would be time well spent.  Bouncing off ideas, airing frustrations, getting advice as to how to handle off the court/field personal issues of a player are topics a young coach could discuss with an older one to get their perspective.

So what's all this have to do with dominance and submission?  It has everything to do with it.  Domme's are no different than coaches.  It takes time to learn their craft. They need time to learn, to grow, to understand their their sub so they can effectively lead.  They would benefit so much from the advice and wisdom of one that has walked that road before them. I find reading blogs from women that have lived the life of the dominant for years to be such a valuable source of wisdom.  Domination isn't about how to tease, or how to humiliate.  Any moron can do that.  Domination is about understanding the heart and soul of their sub. It's about knowing what they need and want most, how to motivate them, and how to best develop their talents to meet the dominant's needs.  But being at the top can be a lonely place and for that reason I see mentorship as an invaluable tool.  Mr SH commented in his last post about how his wife was able to talked to a girlfriend regarding thoughts that apparently had to do with their D/s life.  Kathy on Femdom 101 receives comments all the time and shares advice as one that has lived this life for years.  Most of her posts is advice given to others. Ms Rika  penned a wonderful text on loving dominance. 

There are experienced Dommes that have so much to share with those interested or new to the life of a female domination.  How wonderful it would be if a woman could find another that they could fully trust and share intimately.  Their submissives would benefit. Relationships between partners might deepen. Women might gain confidence and know they had a resource during times of trouble or uncertainty. 

No one is a rock or an island, as Simon and Garfunkle penned.  Rather it takes a village and it takes time to learn and develop ones' skills.  What better way to augment that development than to team with others who share similar views and who have the resource of others that can offer sound advice. I don't know if domme/domme mentorship will ever catch on but I do think it would help to promote the D/s lifestyle and help those who would benefit most from it flourish.

I'm Hers

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