Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Honorable Chastity

I don’t know if I titled this post correctly but I was thinking about chastity today and how different chastity can be from one man to another.  Last night I was away and slept in my Jailbird. Upon waking I took it off, showered, shaved, dried myself and once again became chase as part of dressing for the day ahead.  When at home I sleep ‘free’ because Katie prefers me cuddled behind her and doesn’t like the feel of hard steel against her. When away I don’t lock. Rather, I have a screw to secure the device and I can remove it whenever I want.  When I am away for extended periods – as was this summer when I was away for three weeks I removed it for a day or so because of skin irritation (after asking Katie’s permission).
I have a friend whose wife also locks him in a Jailbird. She keeps the key. Sometimes he’s locked for a few days, sometimes a week, often he sleeps locked, but sometimes he is free for a night or even an entire weekend, depending on the wishes of his wife.
I read several blogs. One gentleman is locked all the time but is set free for his wife to enjoy his member orally. Another has been locked for months and I am told it will be about a year before he is set free, only to be locked for another years’ time without ever being free.
I mention these different scenarios because chastity is so different from one to another.  Chastity is all about what the wife wants and (I assume) what the couple agrees to in the end.  For me and for others a screw secures the device. For others it is a lock that the wife may hold or may allow the sub to have one as well.  I entitled this post ‘honorable chastity’ because that is what our form of chastity is.  If I wanted out last night while away I could have.  If I wanted to masturbate in some secluded place I could have – but I don’t. I call that being honorable.  I am not saying that those men who are locked with a key are not honorable. In fact they are quite the opposite.  It’s honorable to give up the power of freedom of one’s member to a woman. It’s honorable to remain chase for days, weeks or months at a time.
Many men are not told to lock. That is the prerogative of their wife.  Chastity adds a bit of kink to a relationship. It adds a visual and physical reminder that one is owned or possessed by another. It serves as a constant reminder that a part of you is really not all yours anymore – but is now hers. It does restrict one’s ability to ejaculate and in the process cultivate submissive/affectionate desires of the man toward his woman. The severity of the chastity – meaning the length of time between being unlocked and or permitted ejaculations is so different.
For me, I love being locked. I used to ask Katie each morning if she wanted me to lock after showering. The answer was always the same ‘yes’. Now I just do it. I lock because that’s how she wants me.  I remain locked until undressing for bed because that’s what she wants. Katie doesn’t restrict me from touching myself when I am unlocked but I am never permitted to edge. That is for her to do. That’s where the line in the sand is drawn.
For those of you that are exploring or curious of chastity I hope you find the post insightful.  When we first started, we had no idea what was the right way of doing it.  The fact is, there is no right way. There is no one way. What works for one may not work for another.
As an aside, last year I attended a state-final basketball game. As I was in line I noticed security with metal detectors that were scanning bodies.  I had on my Jailbird. I was not with Katie. What should I do? A few months ago I needed to go to a local Social Security office. It’s a Federal building. I’ve been in Federal buildings before. There are security personnel there that check for guns, knives, and scan bodies.  I happened to be locked that day. What should I do?
In both cases I found a secluded place, unlocked, put the Jailbird in my glove box and continued on with life.  I was glad Katie gave me the option to ‘unscrew’ at those times. I’m not saying that all should be that way but for me, it was nice to not have to deal with morons that just didn’t understand an alternative way of existing – eg. Living chaste.
I’m Hers


  1. Wonderful! For us, locked is all about the state of being locked, rather than the control aspects if that makes sense...

  2. I'll delve into this subject on my own blog in the future, but will say this for now...

    I have mixed feelings about wearing a device. I'm kept in chastity, but as of now, we're using the honor system. I do like the feeling of having the willpower to keep myself orgasm free for her, but the idea of being under her key is VERY exciting to me.

    Oftentimes, as my queen teases me at night, she asks: "Have you been good?" obviously referring to whether or not I masturbated. Recently, she replied: "Good. because if you ever did touch yourself, it would be like you cheated on me". Geez! No pressure eh???

    For me, I don't think it would be the same if I were locked but also carried the key around with me. I'd probably prefer a numbered tag that could be cut if there were an emergency.

    While I have no actual experience with it, I think it would be akin to being restrained with rope prior to a caning, where she would be placing me under her physical control so that she could do whatever she wished while I had no choice in the matter.

    "Trust.... but verify"... Ronald Reagan on the Soviet Union.



  3. My wife is still not fully on board wven with the fem dom thing and so no way would she even entertain the idea of making me wear a chastity device. Actually I suspect that she would see my mental strength in abstinance as demonstrating how important I see this whole male submission thing.

  4. My wife and I agreed shortly before we were married that I would stay chase as a show of love and respect for her. We do not really have a flm, but it is more of something I do for her. We have a great sex life with lots of orgasms for her. In the 25 years we have been married, I've had a few accidental orgasms while we were making love, but one in a long time. I take a lot of pride that I can do it all by will power.