Sunday, August 19, 2012

Submissive Qualities

There have been quite a few posts in the past day or so about the qualities of submissive men. Last night I opened MsNaydi's blog, just long enough to see the title of her post when Katie told me it was time to go upstairs to bed.  The topic of her post was 'My Ideal Submissive Man'.  Ms Kathy commented this weekend in a few posts regarding her concern that there are too many D/s relationships that focus on punishment rather than on obedience and service.  I happened to read Domme Chronicles that had a lengthy video of 'submissive men' pictures.  To be honest that video disturbed me. The majority of the pics portrayed men that had been beaten or whipped, that were collared, tiled, shackled or locked.  Lipstick and Ligature posted a wonderful post on this topic as well that is well worth reading.

While talking to Katie in bed my thoughts happened to drift back to the days of Boy Scouts and the Scout Law as I wondered what MsNaydi thought the ideal sub was.  I substituted ' a submissive is' for 'a scout is' and thought - that all of those qualities could also be those a submissive man. I listed them below.  The character traits focus on many character traits a man should have with respect to loving his wife - whether in a D/s F/m relationship or not.  What wife wouldn't want a man to be this way?  Read MsNaydi's post and see the similarities.  Read what Ms Kathy wrote the last few times and see if you don't see that this is what she too desires.  Speak to any woman and see if they don't want a man that exhibits these qualities - as well as those masculine traits that define masculine (strong, protective, sexually driven, etc).

A submissive man is:

Now I am not saying that this is an exhaustive list because there is no mention of a power exchange. There is no mention of following, of deferring to her authority, to loving unconditionally, adoring or devotion but they address much that is good, right and positive in a healthy relationship.

I'd love to have dominant women write the qualities of an ideal Domme/Mistress.  I wonder if beating, punishing, humiliating and demeaning would be primary character traits they feel would breed a loving, healthy, long-lasting relationship.  I doubt it, but I am just one man's perspective and I would love to hear you express yours.  Am I off-the-wall or can you identify? I would love to hear your thoughts.
I'm Hers


  1. You've given me something to think about. Problem is, I would like to think that I am the ideal domme...but who knows if that is right? So, I'll be back when I have given this more thought. Thank you for reading my blog post. It is gratifying that it made you think, too!

  2. The question is, what is the ideal Domme? I think that it would depend on the man you are married to, the needs and wants that you have, your income level, whether you have children or are an empty-nest couple and a myriad of other factors. Just because Katie treats me a certain way doesn't mean that your husband would thrive under her authority just as much as I may not thrive under yours. It doesn't mean that either you or her are not ideal but just different because you are different people. That too is an interesting thought worth pondering :)
    I hope you have a wonderful Sunday.

  3. I'm Hers,

    I think it boils down to the difference between being a slave and being an anticipatory and willing servant.

    A good sub anticipates his Mistresses desires before even she knows what they are. He makes her life pleasant and easy for her. That obviously includes him spending considerable time performing any domestic skills she should not be bothered with and doing them (and everything else for that matter) with a pleasant attitude.

    After that he will look for other areas of service that will please her from bill paying to running errands, to working out to look good for her, to learning a new language, to well anything she might enjoy...

    The opposite is a very negative 'slavery' type of arrangement where she has to push, prod, bully, beat, and humiliate him to do his duties. I can't imagine any woman actually enjoying that type of relationship. But there are LOTS of things I can't imagine that are real too!

    Surrendered hubby