I grew up in a conservative Christian home. My parents are Christians. Over the years I’ve attended several different protestant churches. I was taught that men were to serve as the head of the home, decision makers, leaders in community and leaders of the church. I grew up with lots of good Bible teaching throughout my youth and adult life. I attended a Christian College and even took several courses in Bible and Religion.
So that’s where I come from. That’s my background. That is the framework from which my world revolved with respect to God, values, relationships, and right and wrong. I grew up in a ‘Happy Days’ family, if you are old enough to remember the TV series from some years ago. But my conservative thinking changed when I went to college and graduate school. I was taught to question. I was taught that there were other perspectives, other possibilities.
I believe that God, at length spoke about order, about rules, about ‘his way’ (eg. The narrow vs. wide road). He also gives us some instruction for marriage and order and it is there that I want to focus and discuss a few of the ‘elephants in the room’ regarding marital relationships and D/s marriage with the woman functioning as the dominant partner. The current elephant is cuckholding. Here's some thoughts to consider:
Consider: Scripture is filled with references about marriage. The Bible, at the time of the Old, and New Testament was a male-dominated society. I wonder, why did God allow polygamy in the Old Testament? Why did Solomon, the wisest of all men have 1000 wives and another 300 concubines (wives of a lower status)? If God gave Solomon the gift of wisdom then why on earth did Solomon not have the sense to limit himself to one woman and God not condemn this act if it was wrong? I struggled with that thought for years. I realize now that life then was brutal. Men were killed all the time. Life then was like the Wild West on steroids. There were many more women alive then men. If you were a woman and not attached to a man, what did you do to survive? The answer, in most cases was you became a slave to someone else or lived the life of a prostitute. Maybe, that’s why God permitted this multi-female to male marital relationship to exist. Maybe, just maybe this was an act of love on his part to provide a home for all. I don’t know the answer but I do know that he didn’t condemn it.
Scripture does say that man is to be married and that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Scripture does say to have sex outside of marriage is sinful – Scripture calls that adultery – Jesus extends that in Matthew by stating that not only is the act of sex outside of marriage sinful but lust is as well.
So to address the elephant in the room, where does Cuckholding fit in with scripture? Is it wrong for a woman to have sex with an unmarried man? It happens all the time in our society. It’s becoming the norm. Very few grow and marry as virgins. But just because it’s the norm, does that make it right? We justify these things as ‘progressive’ but does that make it right? Is right and wrong decided by a popularity vote? Even though sex outside of marriage is common, is it ok for a married couple to add a third to their bedroom? I can’t find passages in scripture to promote or advocate this practice. Now if both men were married to the woman I might think differently but that’s not the case and even if it was, our society does not permit such relationships. So where does that leave us? I’ll let you answer that question.
So if you have no faith, this is not an issue for you. If you do have a faith, then you have to wrestle with the issues and come to some kind of conclusion that fits solidly with Scripture. And if you aren’t sure where it fits then you risk crossing the right/wrong line if you act inappropriately.