Saturday, December 29, 2012

Fine Wine

When I first met Katie she was like no one I’ve ever met before.  I can still remember the first time I saw her. I remember saying to myself, “oh my God, she’s beautiful!” And indeed she is. Just check out the I’m Hers icon and see for yourself.  But it was more than my physical attraction that lured me.  She was quiet, yet expressive; gentle yet in control. She told me on one of the first days I met her that ‘I always get what I want’.  It wasn’t said in an arrogant way yet I understood it to mean that when she she set her mind to accomplishing certain goals she achieved them.

Katie is what a Yankee would call a typical southern gal. She’s pretty, well mannered, classy, well spoken and carries herself with grace and dignity. Yet there is this other aspect to her personality that lured me like few I’ve ever been attracted to. It was this attitude of quiet self confidence. It was this sense of me feeling, almost from the start, that she looked at me as being hers.  She let me go a few times when we first started dating. I was unsure about getting into a relationship with a woman that lived too far away. Yet it was me, not her, who kept coming back, wanting to rekindle our relationship.  Maybe she me go those times after we first met knowing I’d be back. Maybe she knew that if it wasn’t to be, then it wasn’t and she’d just move on.  Fortunately for me I came to my senses and took the risk. Stepping out in faith to get to know her was the best choice I ever made.

If you ever met her Katie you’d never in your wildest dreams know she was my dominant partner and desires me to liver under her authority within a WLM. Yes you’d see her enjoying herself while I did small things for her. Yes it would be evident that we loved one another. Yes you’d see me making sure she was in the middle of a conversation rather than me. And yes, you’d hear her tell the host or others that it was time for us to leave.  If you watched us walk away you’d notice that I opened the driver’s-side door for her and that she drove .  Unless I did something really stupid while out with her, you’d never know she had this thing about control. Even if you did observe all of this I doubt very much that your mind would conjure up the word “dominant” as one characterizing Katie.
Fast forward to last night:  I was cleaning up Katie’s desktop and asked if I could move all of her desktop pictures into a folder by that same.  I have this thing about a cluttered desktop and hers was pretty much out of control. She gave me permission to do so and I did some laptop-housekeeping.  While moving these I realized that she had saved several pictures from the web and so I opened each one asking if she wanted me to save or trash these web pictures. One such picture is the one you see here. When I opened it I just smiled and when Katie saw it she laughed as well.
When I see that these kinds of comments amuse her it makes me both chuckle and smile. I smile because that is the real Katie. On the exterior, all others see is this attractive woman that could be anyone’s next door neighbor or any woman you’d pass while doing your Christmas shopping. What I mean is that she blends in with the crowd. She’s a normal woman. But on the inside she’s not the same as every other lady and the lady I know is surely not like most neighborly women. She has an understanding that men, including myself, need to be trained, molded and matured until they become worthy of being one of her better friends.  She believes that the ideal man is one that will also let go of his control, his desires, his wants, in lieu of the wants and needs of a woman. Yes, she will tolerate most any man as long they aren’t offensive but won’t desire to interact with a man frequently unless they are a gentleman. It’s the Domme in her coming through. It’s hard to see most of the time but every so often that side peaks its head out for others to see if they look close. 
I love that part of Katie. It was that part of her that I could sense when we were just friends. I wonder even back at the beginning if that attitude of ‘I get what I want’ came through and made me want to conform to her wants even though I had no idea she viewed things in this way. But that gracious yet unyielding attitude that told me in so many unspoken ways, “if you want to please me, you will do it my way” kept showing itself. I now wonder if that quiet self-confidence and gracious-selfishness on her part helped me realize that there was a submissive man hiding inside me all along.  That ‘I get what I want’ mentality was the domme inside her, even though she never put a name to that personality trait. 
Disguised within our own vanilla relationship was D/s. When I learned that there actually were dominants and submissives I immediately identified me as a submissive man and felt comfortable enough with her to bring this topic up initially. I never associated her as being dominant yet I believed she’d be open to at least discussing the possibilities of us being such opposites. It was she that helped me to find my way and I don’t know that either of us ever saw it coming. It just happened and is still happening to me most every day. Now I know what to look for. Now I know what to expect. Katie no longer has to hope she gets what she wants because now she just tells me and now I want nothing more than to cater to her. Doing so fills my heart with love for her. Doing so fills my life with richness and a sense of self-identity. It’s a win-win life for us both and that is what makes loving her so easy and yet so incredible.


  1. Mr. IH,

    I personally believe women are often more sadistic then they let on and in fact enjoy infliction of pain (be it emotional or physical) but mask their enjoyment to maintain an acceptable societal façade. I do not think I can explain why I believe this in a short comment, but have read account of many women doing very mean things who seemingly enjoy doing so, but would never admit to enjoying or even that they were purposefully inflicting discomfort or outright pain.

    Perhaps one day this societal stigmata will reverse and women who honestly enjoy inflicting discomfort either as a training tool for the man in her life or just as a form of indulgence, may openly do so without fear of hearing back badly about their enjoyment. After all, if a man is seen as enjoying being belligerent, it is chalked up to his ‘manly’ behavior. Could not this same be considered a woman connecting to her innate womanly desires to subjugate the man in her life?

    Just some food for thought. Thx for sharing the nice post.


  2. SH, interesting thought that I have never considered. I don't know if all women feel as such but I do wonder if you are on to something. Katie has never made me do something that caused me pain physically although she has become much less sympathetic to me wearing a chastity device despite my pleas at time for a break. I guess you could call that administering emotional pain. There is a post by an anonymous man on a blog post of 'slave or submissive' that you ought to read. I posted it earlier this month. Interesting and incredible if I say so myself.

    Have a happy New Year SH. I wish you and your family well.

  3. I know for a fact that no one would ever guess how kinky, dominant and devious I can be. I don't even look my age either which only adds to it LOL. I think this is what is nice about much of the bdsm community, we most are all just normal people after all. I thought the same thing when I first met my friend Sherry, she is a pro domme and she looks like she could be a kidergarten teacher, she just looks like a nice normal person. My blogging friend Robert said I looked way too sweet and innocent to be so kinky. LOL. I also feel that the true path to dominance and submission is in control, not so much in pain play. To me pain play is just a fun thing to do sometimes, the real and deeper submission comes in the obedience and loyalty and worshipping. All the rest is just a fun little bonus. As a Mistress I crave total obedience and control over my slave.

    Best wishes for your upcoming wedding.

  4. Mr. IH,
    Another awesome post. The Queen in my life shares quite a bit in common with your Katie, quiet self confidence. She's had male bosses at jobs who while giving her high praise with references ask her "Do they know YOU are in charge yet?" Our 8 years of marriage and 10 years of being together albeit vanilla, she has quietly been running the show. Your insight and great posts about your beautiful relationship give me food for thought on what is in store for us along our new journey. My best wishes for your continued happiness, your continued obedience to Queen Katie as you tie the knot that can not be untied :-)

  5. Thanks for the words of encouragement. I love this woman and know that I will always feel that way. She is incredibly beautiful both inside and out.