Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Rules, Part 2

As our marriage approaches, the significance of its permanency increases for me.  Yet I am frightened. What I have seems too perfect; she is too perfect; everything about her is too good to be true and I don't want to screw up anything of what we have and leave this nirvana life I now have.  I am living every submissive man's dream.  I have found a woman who wants to not only love me but own me as her submissive. She has embraced this position as the head of our dating relationship and has told me she now wants to marry me.  What more could I ever wish to desire or experience?

I have always been a person that likes to make lists and cross things off once they are done.  I have always been a person that, although I can lead others, prefers to be given a job to do and be given free rein to complete that task.  For me specifics work better than abstracts. Routines are better than change.  Knowing exactly what is expected of me or what I am to do is how my brain functions best.

So I came to Katie a few weeks ago to discuss rules and asked her if she wanted to establish any for me.  Her initial reaction was not to. Rather she just told me that what she wanted was my obedience. "But what about my mind," I countered. Obedience is more than just completing tasks and doing what she tells me.  What about my time?  We talked and I asked if I could write others that I knew that have mentioned that they have rules in place for their husbands.  I wrote out a draft of rules for myself and then compared my list with a response I got from another. I found the similarity stunningly close.

My desire in having rules is to construct a hedge around my marriage with Katie.  I remember reading a book by that same title years ago and looked it up today on Amazon.  Here is what Amazon says about the book: "With the divorce rate steadily climbing and infidelity creeping into even the happiest marriages, in a society that trivializes adultery and its devastating effects, with temptation and opportunity coming at you from all directions, how can you keep your marriage from becoming a statistic? ......the author's advice is this: plant preventative hedges around your marriage. These hedges are practical ways to avoid compromising situations and giving temptation a foothold in your life."

That is what I am seeking, a way to prevent the outside world or internal desires or wants from ruining what Katie and I have.  I want to always remain deeply in love with her. I want to always submit to her authority. I want to obey her always. I want to never look elsewhere for another woman's love to fill a need or want. I want to completely fill my life with 'Katie' and leave room in it for nothing else. I want to build a hedge to protect what we have.

So I am going to pass this draft by Katie with a list of my rules that I would like to live by.  If she agrees that these are the rules that I am to live by and does nothing more, I don't know if that will work.  If she however takes ownership of them, and forces me to take ownership of them by confronting me when I fail to live up to a standard; if she demands that I memorize these and recite them to her weekly or periodically; if she sits me down and tells me to explain which of these rules I am having the most difficulty with; if she keeps them in the forefront of my mind, then they will take on meaning.  Otherwise they will be pushed under the heap of stuff called life and diminish in significance.  It's up to me as the submissive to abide by her dictates but it is up to her as the dominant to enforce any policy or requirement she deems as important.

The rules I came up with are listed below.

I'm Hers 

Rule #1: - PRIORITIES     I will always put you first and make you my #1 priority.
Rule #2: - OBEDIENCE - I will obey you always. I will never question your decisions.
Rule #3: - WOMEN - I will never desire, flirt with, or lust after another woman.
Rule #4: - OPENNESS - I will truthfully and completely reveal all thoughts whenever asked.
Rule #5: - SEX - You are charge of my sex life. My genitals belong to you.
Rule #6  - FINANCES - All my money is yours. You make all financial decisions.
Rule #7: - TIME - You will determine how I spend my time outside of my work obligations.
Rule #8: - GUIDANCE - I will come to you for guidance when I am confronted with decisions I need to make.
Rule #9: - DISCIPLINE - I will accept your correction and discipline without question or resistance.


  1. Oh I so wish that I had done that. But alas my submissive side only came to the fore well after marriage. Mind you more communication before marriage would have been a very good thing.

    1. submanhub,

      The question I can't resist asking you is: why do you wish you had 'done that'? I'd be interested to know and as an aside, what's keeping you from 'doing that' now, even after you've been married for some time?

  2. Like almost every other sub guy in the world, what you seek here and you probably continue to seek in the future, is a constant need to be reminded that Katie actively seeks and wants to encourage your submission by expressing her dominance.

    You seem further than most in achieving this, well done.....!!

    1. AAT,

      I don't know how I compare with others. But yes, it is nice when she does remind me that I am dependent on her. I do in fact love that part of our relationship. I don't know if Katie wants to be bothered with that however as much as I wish her to but I do enjoy the morsels she does give me as reminders.

  3. Please forgive me for being the one detractor, but I think you may be moving too fast. It's almost seems like you are attempting to "top from the bottom" and you know how damaging and counter productive that can be. Your rules seem so stringent, that you may be setting yourself up for failure before you start. Please think about this! Ms Katie seems to be a wise lady. When she said, "I just want your obedience", she realizes that life is not all black and white as your list of rules are. She will make her own rules for you as you take this journey together. The two of you have a whole life of discovery together ahead of you. Without a doubt, your heart is in the right place and you are excited, but don't throw all your logs on the fire at one time. Just follow Ms Katie's lead and take your cues from her.

    1. Wishful4

      Thanks for taking the time to comment. Yes, I did top from the bottom - in a way. I made a suggestion to Katie and I guess you could call that topping. However, it's up to Katie to decide if rules for me are necessary and I have a gut feeling that she will stay 'global' and just tell me it's my job to obey her. The reason I brought the topic up in the first place is because I know that I function best with specifics, with routines, with daily tasks, etc. I felt that by having to memorize and recite these often it would help me with the realization of the breadth and comprehensiveness of her rule in my life. Right now, with Christmas at hand, it's the last thing on her mind at the moment so this may all die a slow death unless I bring the topic back up in the spring or summer.

    2. You are most welcome. I think most of us males are just like you. We function better when we know all the rules and parameters. A checklist for submission, if you will. I feel sure Ms Katie will make the right decision for the both of you when the topic arises again. At least you have planted the seed in her mind that this would be something helpful to you and truthful communication is never bad. Merry Christmas to the both of you!

    3. Thanks Wishful4, I appreciate your frequent stops to read and comment. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

  4. Mr. IH,

    Your fiancée deserves so much credit for laying the groundwork for the relationship she intends to have with you. Her expectations are clear, your role as her submissive is unambiguous, and her position of authority in the relationship. It is also clear she intends to enjoy herself, while using your service to her in support of things she enjoys.

    You are lucky to have found such a women to whom you can dedicate your service. I wish you both all the best and hope 2013 is the best year of both of your lives as you two start out a new era together.



  5. Rule #3: - WOMEN - I will never desire, flirt with, or lust after another woman.

    Wow, really? Not flirting would be the deal-breaker for me.

    No, I"m being serious. When you flirt, and assuming that other women flirt back, it actually *enhances* your attractiveness. My wife enjoys knowing that she has an attractive man at her disposal, and if other women find me attractive, then it reinforces her conceptions that she's doing something right.

  6. I like them. I dont feel you topped from the bottom. I like to have my slave suggest things or even sometimes ask for things. Bottom line is what i say goes. I think the rules are more beneficial for you to help you better define boundaries etc. With the money tho maybe she can give you an allowance per week and any purchases beyond that be ger decision. Or if you need other money you would have to ask. I think with you two marrying this is the perfect chance to incorporate a contract or rules list. You could even recite them in your ceremony or a private one after the wedding. I like your list.

  7. Merry Christmas Miss Christina. We did weave these rules into our vows but I don't think that Katie necessarily wants me memorizing them nor reciting them. Obedience is what she wants. Maybe she feels that if I do that, all else falls under that umbrella

  8. Suppose Katie decides to loan you to one of Her girlfriends as a courtesy. Presumably you will be expected to project some romantic interest to the lady while you are out on loan. That is the problem with YOU deciding what the Rules are. When Wife has loaned me out She always wants the other woman to have a good time with me.

  9. Anonymous, your premise is that 'being lent out' is something that Katie would do. I can tell you she would never do that. Besides being a woman that wants my devotion and obedience she is also a jealous woman that would never take the chance that I would stray after being put out on loan.

    Now I could see her lending me to another to do physical work but that wouldn't require me to be chummy with her girlfriend. Work for another. Lend a hand yes, but serve as a date or other role which would require me to show romantic interest - never.

  10. Have to agree with Mr. Allen. My wife Loves the fact that I am 8 years younger and I am her very own sex toy to do what she pleases. She would never lend me out but relishes the fact that she owns me but she gets a kick out of the fact I can tease and make envious them "other bitches that want get their claws in me" and I aim to please het Majesty. I like the rules but let Katie take the lead....just my thoughts... love your posts they help alot as we have only just begun...

  11. Have to agree with Mr. Allen. My wife Loves the fact that I am 8 years younger and I am her very own sex toy to do what she pleases. She would never lend me out but relishes the fact that she owns me but she gets a kick out of the fact I can tease and make envious them "other bitches that want get their claws in me" and I aim to please het Majesty. I like the rules but let Katie take the lead....just my thoughts... love your posts they help alot as we have only just begun...

  12. Her Loyal Knight & Houseboy, Thanks for posting. I love it when people that have never taken the time to comment do so. It helps with the discussion and regardless of your views and whether they agree with mine, I welcome others. With that said, if you read my comment to Mr. Allen, you know that Katie feels differently. I’m to flirt with her only as she doesn’t want me bantering with other women. Her reasoning is that by keeping a check on my behavior with other women, it will negate any opportunity for me to get carried away or flirt in ways I will later regret.
    I’m glad you are enjoying the blog. Feel free to stop back often. I hope that you and your dominant do find fun and intimacy as you enjoy this lifestyle.