I have always been a person that likes to make lists and cross things off once they are done. I have always been a person that, although I can lead others, prefers to be given a job to do and be given free rein to complete that task. For me specifics work better than abstracts. Routines are better than change. Knowing exactly what is expected of me or what I am to do is how my brain functions best.
So I came to Katie a few weeks ago to discuss rules and asked her if she wanted to establish any for me. Her initial reaction was not to. Rather she just told me that what she wanted was my obedience. "But what about my mind," I countered. Obedience is more than just completing tasks and doing what she tells me. What about my time? We talked and I asked if I could write others that I knew that have mentioned that they have rules in place for their husbands. I wrote out a draft of rules for myself and then compared my list with a response I got from another. I found the similarity stunningly close.
My desire in having rules is to construct a hedge around my marriage with Katie. I remember reading a book by that same title years ago and looked it up today on Amazon. Here is what Amazon says about the book: "With the divorce rate steadily climbing and infidelity creeping into even the happiest marriages, in a society that trivializes adultery and its devastating effects, with temptation and opportunity coming at you from all directions, how can you keep your marriage from becoming a statistic? ......the author's advice is this: plant preventative hedges around your marriage. These hedges are practical ways to avoid compromising situations and giving temptation a foothold in your life."
That is what I am seeking, a way to prevent the outside world or internal desires or wants from ruining what Katie and I have. I want to always remain deeply in love with her. I want to always submit to her authority. I want to obey her always. I want to never look elsewhere for another woman's love to fill a need or want. I want to completely fill my life with 'Katie' and leave room in it for nothing else. I want to build a hedge to protect what we have.
So I am going to pass this draft by Katie with a list of my rules that I would like to live by. If she agrees that these are the rules that I am to live by and does nothing more, I don't know if that will work. If she however takes ownership of them, and forces me to take ownership of them by confronting me when I fail to live up to a standard; if she demands that I memorize these and recite them to her weekly or periodically; if she sits me down and tells me to explain which of these rules I am having the most difficulty with; if she keeps them in the forefront of my mind, then they will take on meaning. Otherwise they will be pushed under the heap of stuff called life and diminish in significance. It's up to me as the submissive to abide by her dictates but it is up to her as the dominant to enforce any policy or requirement she deems as important.
The rules I came up with are listed below.
Rule #1: - PRIORITIES I will always put you first and make you my #1 priority.