Thursday, January 3, 2013

Peace, Security, Structure, Intimacy

When I was looking for a picture for an earlier post I typed the phrase “Men are like…” and up came several suggestions including “Men are life waffles”. After finding what I was looking for I went back, pulled up the "Men are like waffles" link and found that this was a book title. I read the description then went looking for a book summary. Reading it, I learned that this book is akin to the other male/female books that describe the differences between the genders. The waffles part had to do with the authors opinion that men like to put their life into different cubicles or 'waffles' that they deal with one at a time. The reviewer also posted the following excerpts from the book which I found interesting.

Questions women ask:

1. Am I more important than our money?
2. Are you being sincere?
3. Do you notice me?
4. Am I more important than your sleep?
5. Do you notice other women?

Questions men ask:

1. Is life with you going to be filled with admiration?
2. Is life with you going to be free from complications?
3. Is life with you going to be sexual?
4. Is life with you going to be cooperative?
5. Is life with you going to be lived in the present?

What do these questions reveal? When I read them I sense worry and insecurity on the part of the woman, I sensed selfishness on the part of the man especially since he was the one that most likely pursued her in the first place. They both screamed insecurity. Isn’t that sad? Yet I am certain that the author is basing this on valid information. Personally I think that being raised amongst other insecure people such as schiool, athletics, clubs and other organizations kids typically take part in serve as breeding grounds where we all develop at least some degree of insecurity and a self image that is less than healthy. We all end up trying to fit in. We all want to conform to whatever  happens to be popular. Most end up as followers with very few of us developing good leadership skills.  Guys become defensive, girls become frustrated they aren't accepted and we end up growing up and hanging on to all this baggage that hampers our experiencing life’s' fullness the way we were intended to live life.
I read this to Katie and commented how well the D/s lifestyle remedies all of this. She agreed completely and I think you would to. Here’s why.
The question the man here is really asking is, “If I marry you are you going to get in my way, make my life miserable or deny me sex?” The wife, however asks, “Are you going to love me and put me first in your life?” I’m wonder if the author was referring to working dads. You know, the ones that believe that when dad gets home, he deserves a shower, a moment to eat in peace, and then a chance to sit and read the paper and relax in front of the TV without the kids (or his wife) bothering him all evening. I know that was how I was taught to respect and honor my dad as the homes’ breadwinner. All the while the wife, who’s been home all day, or busy at work, is wondering if he will take the time to interact with her; if he will tell her how good the meal she prepared tasted; if he is attracted to her and if he will tell her how much he loves and appreciates her.
In a WLM a man’s world is flipped topsy-turvy. Life is no longer male-centric but rather wife-centric. If he agrees to submit to her authority he soon understands that he is capable of doing so much more than they ever thought possible. He realizes he can indeed have a full-time job as well as help around the home, complete most of the domestic chores that need doing and make this wife the focus of his life.
Men, don't tell me you can't because you can. Every single male living alone does it all. They cook, clean, keep the house/apartment clean, shop and maintain a budget. It can be done and it can be done quite easily with a little organization of one’s' life.
But why would a man want to do this? Why help around the home when sitting in front of the TV is the other option? Why play with the kids or shut the tube off and share about life and your thoughts with your wife instead of watching football games all day Saturday and Sunday? The answer is short and simple. It develops intimacy. Your kids will love you like they did when they were six and thought you were the coolest dad in the world. Your wife will look forward to talking and sharing knowing she has a listening ear. Your life will become more worthwhile than filling it with three hours of a ball game, or a night of watching murder mysteries.
Any man can do this. Even the vanilla man can. But if he submits, if he gives up his power, if he decides to follow her and live under her rule his reward increases several fold. He learns what it means to love more deeply. He experiences unconditional love. He learns firsthand what it means to live selflessly. He witnesses his wife transition from an insecure, unsure, average woman to one who is self-assured, confident and radiates with the knowledge that she is loved and feels secure. He sees her true beauty revealed. He sees her insecurities surface less and less. She now speaks more honestly and openly, now telling rather than asking. She shares more deeply knowing she won’t be criticized for what she has to say. He gets to experience life with her. They both can now communicate more often. They get to know each other’s hearts. He can learn about her aspirations and dreams with respect to their marriage, her life, her desires and where she intends to direct them from henceforth. He realizes there is so much more to her. She becomes more attractive to him. He longs to please her because she becomes the center of his world. She feels free to share and live as she wishes. He admires her directness and wisdom. She lovingly leads and guides them through the daily issues of life. He gets to live his life with her back in the center of his mind where she belonged from the very beginning.
He can still life as a waffle, with all those little compartments in his life that are filled with individual tasks and duties, but those compartments are no longer filled with work, golf, TV, sleep, and friends but rather with items that she wants him to fill his life with. Outside of work his life is filled with caring for her, pleasing her, pampering her, looking out for her, helping her and loving her. Yes that means she may require him to cook, clean, run errands, vacuum and such, but is that really so hard to do given the benefits those tasks bring?
 Female dominance and male submission makes total sense. Living under her rule rekindles their love relationship. Living a life meeting all of her needs ends up filling his own emotional tank. Arguments stop. Life becomes organized. Structure within the relationship is defined. The questions he has about her are answered. When he submits, she admires him. Life isn't filled with complications. Sex happens but it's on her terms. There are no longer any pressures when it comes to life in the bedroom because she controls it all. They work as a team only now with her directing and him following. Consequently her life’s' baggage can be resolved. She controls the finances and frees him from doing so. When he focuses on her she can feel his sincerity. She feels important. She feels loved. She knows she is in the center of his world and that is where she wants to always remain. D/s works and it is beautiful.
I hope that if you are a man or woman struggling with your own relationship that you will at least explore this way of living. It does not need to be filled with kink. It needs to be practical. It needs to make sense. It needs to be fun and adding a bit of sexual fun can’t hurt, but female dominance primarily needs to focus on a couple’s intimacy and cultivating their love relationship. Its purpose is helping two people stay intimately connected.
To make this happen, she needs to take control of him and the relationship. Taking charge requires him to submit. Taking charge requires him agree that he needs to do more. She needs to do less. She needs to let him know what she wants of him. She needs to convey how he can help ease her stress and make her life more enjoyable. She may need to teach him how he can best do this. He needs to be willing to learn to do things her way. He needs to push those feelings of 'I'm doing more than her' aside because it's not about who is doing more. It's about falling in love. It's about him giving of himself, his time, his energy, and his desires to her. It's about loving the woman like he did when he first courted her and acted like the Knight she fell so deeply in love with. She would love for that knight to return once again. Men were born to be knights. Men are good at being Knights. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to view her as your Queen once again?
Ladies, take your man back. Bring him back to you. Learn to lead like you were born to lead. Stop feeling so shy about telling him what you want, when you want it and how you want it. Speak your mind. But do so in a way that lets him know just how much you love him. Men are insecure. Fill him with the understanding that by living under your loving care, you will provide him with all the love and security he desires. I can't imagine a woman not loving a life living like this. I can’t imagine a man not wanting this. This is my life. This is Katie’s life. It is the life of so many others that have found loving female dominance and service male submission as a way to maintain the love for one another never want to lose.
Think about it. Talk about it. If you feel it is worth exploring then take that step and see where it leads. It may be the best choice you've ever made.
I'm Hers


  1. Great post. I think that explains what a FLR truly is.I can't wait to share you're post with my wife.

  2. This is great sub motivation and inspiration - Thank You :)))

  3. Anonymous 1, Thanks for the compliment. I hope your wife agrees with the underlying premise of the post.

    Anonymous 2, I was hoping that it would be great motivation for women to take control of their husbands even moreso than for subs to obey and yield to their authority. Thanks to both of your for posting.

  4. Thank you for this terrific post. It captures so well the benefits of a FLR. I read it to my wife and she agreed 100%. It made me swell me love for her. She is so happy with our new FLR and my love for her. We have rediscovered our love and happiness from when we first met and married many years ago. Thanks again for giving us a loving event.

  5. Yes, My Love, I've not met you before and hope you stop back often to read and share. You know as I wrote that post I kept thinking of redoing it and titling it more of something to the likes of "I love story" because I kept thinking of how much male submission is a gift of love just as female dominance is but in a different way. I hope you and you wife do find intimacy like you have not felt in a long time. Feel free to write more personally via email if you wish. Thanks again for stopping by.

  6. Ditto to all who have commented. Becoming Her Loyal Knight, I have fallen more deeply in love with Her Majesty than I ever thought possible. Great post.