Wednesday, January 9, 2013

The NBA and Femdom

While driving into work I was listening to the Dan Patrick show (good radio show if you enjoy sports talk radio). Dan was interviewing former NBA coach Stan Van Gundy regarding teammates Kobe Bryant and Dwight Howard. To catch the non sports followers up on these two players, Kobe may be one of the top five players in the world and is now in his 17th season playing ball for the Lakers. New to the Lakers this year is Dwight, who has been one of the most dominant 'big man' in the league for the last 3-4 years. The conversation between host and guest focused on Kobe's ego and whether or not his ego had any room for his new superstar’s ego to share the spotlight with. Without pause Van Gundy replied, "Absolutely not." He commented that for as long as Kobe is playing he will demand the attention and want to be known as the only star on the team. He went on to say that most all of the starting players in the league have egos that are constantly fed by fan support, media attention and personal achievement.

So this ego topic got me thinking: Doesn’t the 'lady in charge of her house and her submissive also have an ego? Isn't her ego being constantly fed by the daily submission of her husband/boyfriend she assumes dominance? I think it is. I think there are times in a dominant woman's day when she can't help but smile knowing ‘he’ is hers. What ego wouldn’t be filled with that sense of control and power? If this is true then isn't there a viciously wonderful cycle that exists between Domme and sub that feed one another’s respective roles. He obeys. He serves. He takes direction from her. He asks permission. She maintains absolute control of his life. His life revolves around her. That dynamic both reinforces his submission as well as her dominance. Once the D/s dynamic as been established it becomes a self-fulfilling lifestyle. 

Film stars, professional athletes, politicians, CEO's, virtually anyone who lives the privileged life, who has power, influence, attention, and star-power all develop egos unless they are continuously checked at the door. Humility at that level is a rarity. Why then wouldn’t the woman who controls her man and has similar power and control over his finances, sex life, duties and his service, similarly not  develop the same ego found in the rich and famous? I mean most of the rich and famous weren't always that way. Their change in status or position changed them. Why would this not be so with her?

In my own situation, Katie has changed. She hasn’t always been this way and she sure has come to enjoy her life as the one in charge. I’ve seen changes in her and they have been quite apparent. The way she relates to me now is different and I think she knew that change would come if she chose to accept my submission. In fact, her fear from the beginning was that she might become a bitch, as she stated a few years back. Katie is becoming a bitch, but one in which I would term a good bitch. She speaks her mind more. She tells me what she needs and wants. She doesn't beat around the topic so much. She is more direct. She also expects more from me. She knows she has ownership and control of me. She still loves my spontaneity, my impulsiveness, my creativeness and the rest of my personality that makes me me. She just loves that she owns me and has absolute control of me. 

That's why I titled this blog as I did. I'm hers, I really am. If what I am trying to make a case for is actually true, then don't dominant women become more self assured, more secure and have a greater understanding of the dominance they truly hold over their man? Conversely, don't submissive men that understand that their place in life is beneath that of the woman they serve become more resigned and at peace in their submissiveness to the woman they serve?

It's just a hunch. I am not a behavioral scientist and so I am simply making an observation and parallel to what I see in others.


I'm Hers

 

5 comments:

  1. Hi, S's slave here. The post is interesting. I have always thought that in a Matriarchal marriage the Wife plays the role of the point guard, controlling the ball and signalling the plays. The husband must execute the play called out by the Wife. In a monogamous relationship the Wife does not have an entire team but if a Woman runs a polyandrous household with multiple slaves, the analogy works even better.

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  2. Good evening S's slave. Thanks for the comment. I like your analogy. Never quite thought of it in that way but I like it. The point I was making really had to do with the fact that if you act a certain way long enough, you can't help but become 'that way'. Kind of like if you commit to a role and belive the values and characteristics of how that role should be lived, you will become that person rather than just acting that way. Make sense? It makes sense to me.
    Stop by again.
    Enjoy your weekend.

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  3. Agreed.

    Personality is shaped by habit and habit is formed by repeated behavior.

    In terms of the cycle, I have seen it called a "virtuous cycle" and a "feedback loop", but the concept is the same. The feelings are caused by the behavior, but also are the cause for the behavior to continue.

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  4. I had never really thought of a WLM in terms of ego, but I have thought about it in terms of self esteem. My wife's self esteem is enhanced by my submission to her. When we are "in the game", I bring her little treats like Starbucks (she is not really a flowers person), I massage her feet, I praise her through my blog, and make sure she is always sexually satisfied. Basically, we are courting again, and I feel like a suitor that must prove himself to her over and over. We both like that. Unfortunately, real life frequently interrupts and we get a little sidetracked. Our WLM is basically wife lead in the bedroom for now. That's how she wants it. Would she develop more of an ego? Maybe. But I can tell her self esteem has gone up since we've been in an FLR. And that's a win-win.

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  5. LtSubmit, Thanks for sharing. Isn’t a woman with self-esteem or self-confidence, or a sense of security, or however you want to phrase that character trait, sexy? I find it extremely so. I’m glad that you have found that in your case and glad that you feel such as need to win her over again and again. I’m sure I will say this a 1000 times more in responses or posts but D/s does develop intimacy because of the very act that you continually do – loving her through your actions. I wish you well.

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