Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Unpredictable Katie

I can't quite figure Katie out. We have had a few informal discussions via text and a few others while talking together on the topic of my prostate health and her denying me an orgasm. By the time I get this post up I will be somewhere between 170-180 days since my last release date - July 31 if I remember correctly.  What puzzles me is Katie's lack of desire to tease me. Knowing her personality and playfulness I can't understand why she hasn't told me go to bed, lay on my back and lay there while she applies a lubricating oil and strokes me just because she knows it will get me worked up and sexually charged. Everything about her tells me she would love the power of the act. Everything about her tells me she would enjoy getting me to the very edge that causes me to leak semen and then have me ingest it and then repeat the process another time or two. And yet, she's never gone there. It's something she's never done but it's something that I think she would love doing.
Touch is one of her love languages. She touches me often. She often grabs me during the day and just gives me a squeeze. She often strokes me at night or in the morning while we are in bed. She enjoys the feel of a hard cock in her hand. She likes knowing that she has the ability to give me an erection. I know when we make love that she likes hearing the change in my breathing or the onset of my groans when I am getting close. She loves the feel of me pulling her even tighter against me when I near the edge, yet she has never intentionally teased me and ruined an orgasm and I just don't know why.  And so I am puzzled.
With respect to her allowing me release, she told me the morning after we married, that today was going to be the day. However, later in the afternoon she fell ill and so nothing happened that night. I remember dreaming about cumming. I wanted to so badly. January 2 came and went as did January 3,4,5 and so on.  She apparently has changed her mind which is not unusual for her.  I had a strong suspicion that 1/1/13 was to be the day but now I have no clue and I can tell it is a non issue for her. Personally I think she'd be fine if I never came and I would too in some respects - but then again - it would sure be nice to be drained periodically - even if it was via a milk or ruining mechanism that kept me from going through that refractory period afterward.
Denial is a mental struggle more than a physical one. It's those numbers - they seem big in my mind and when I  pass over a hurdle - from 99-100, from 149 to 150, from December to January, from the last day of Autumn to the first day of Winter, from the end of a year to the beginning of another - I tend to dwell on the fact that she is still denying me. I find it unbelievable in some respects. I find it incredibly sexy that she has the will do to so every time we make love and she knows a single word on her part would change it all - yet she consciously chooses to not say, "I want you to cum".  It's a real reminder of who is in charge.
I love her. She is one complex woman that I am yet to figure out.

I'm Hers

11 comments:

  1. Mr. IH,

    I recently saw a movie. It is titled “Old Boy”. The main character is arrested and put into a prison without a trial.

    He is left there and all of his attempts at finding out how long he will be kept are ignored. He is only fed via a door hole. No conversation.

    He is let out after 15 years. He comments, “Would it of been better to know how long I was to be held?” He decides it was far worse not knowing and for 15 years the grind of thinking at any moment he could be let out drove him crazy.

    Sweet dreams.

    ;-}

    -SH

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    1. SH, Oh Mr. SH, you make me smile. Is this the pot calling the kettle black or what? :). But there is a grain of truth (ok, maybe 10,000 grains) in what you say. It is the fact that I don't know, that makes it hard. Or makes one just resolved that 'it will never be' at all. I'm doing ok now and I so do appreciate your wishing me to dream sweetly.
      Have a great weekend.

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  2. I find it puzzeling as well. I know in my case my wife relishes her sexual power over me and loves to demonstrate it by teasing. Never a big production mind you, but just by getting me rock hard 2 - 3 times a week as we snuggle in bed. Each time she's almost gleeful as she then rolls over saying "good night my slave". She lets me cum about once every two weeks BTW.

    You've said you were puzzled or "don't understand" any number of times, but only implied that you were disappointed. You probably also feel hurt as well, knowing that this is something that would take very little effort on her part but would mean the world to you.

    It would be far better if she were to flat out declare that she changed her mind regarding allowing you to cum, rather than pretend through her silence that her unkept promise was never made.

    Communication is key to any relationship and yours is no different. Since she reads these blog posts, perhaps this is your way of initiating a deeper conversation between you. I hope it does. Disappointment left unchecked will invariably lead to resentment.

    Best,

    Jake

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  3. Nope not puzzling. what you request is "for" you. Do something for her first. an O or two or three. slide up side and expect nothing in return. There will be teases soon enough. Not that giving her pleasure and not "taking" yours is a tease enough.

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    Replies
    1. Nordicman, you must be new to this blog. All the guy DOES is "give".

      I have a theory that most "D/s purists" have never lived the lifestyle but rather add their opinions according to what is "supposed" to be. I may be wrong in your particular case but I believe I'm right in the main.

      All people have needs, no matter what side of the D/s divide they find themselves. In an ideal world we'd all have partners who have a desire to fill those needs, not out of a sence of obligation, but love.

      Best,

      Jake

      I. H. My appologies if I'm taking liberties on your blog.

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    2. "liberty" away. the floor is yours.

      Delete
  4. Hmmm, well I am with you in regards to figuring women out. I don't get it. When she was denying me, she was quite into it, really relishing her power over me, and enjoying the submission that comes with me being chaste. It was a very fun time for us both, but then things sort of just went "normal".

    Another aspect that confuses me is that games and scenes we have tried - even ones that she seems to enjoy - are never really revisited. I don't get that either. One time, we played with a Nerf dart gun. She thought it was hilarious to shoot me in the nuts, clearly enjoying it while I submissively awaited the shot. She was a good shot, too, hitting a "balls eye" just about every time. But then, she never seemed to want to do it again. I would definitely be up for it. That's women for you :)

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    1. Love to submit,
      I think I understand your wife's decisions as you described them. For you it was fun and playful but for her, although she had fun at the time, she probably just forgot about the fun she had at the time, and maybe just views it as effort on her part that is unnecessary to her happiness (and your submission). Underlying my 'frustration' or my 'not figuring out Katie' is the same thought..... meaning that I am sure she would enjoy the tease, and enjoy ruining an orgasm, but it's 1) work, and 2) it's a purposeful act that she'd most likely do just before we went to bed which is at the end of her day and her desire is rest, cuddling and talking in the dark, rather than play. It's just a hunch.
      Thanks LTS for sharing.

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  5. I feel that you could at least voice to Katie how much you long for more hard core teasing sessions that leave you totally desperate, and how much you would like to experience the pure torture of ruined orgasms for her pleasure. Make sure you bring it up that of course it is something you would like to try, but the main reason you want to try it is because of the pleasure it may bring to her. She won't know till she tries. When done right a ruined one will bring no sense of relief, will be pretty much agony in some ways, but the little cum will seep out and provide a little more room in your sore balls and a little fun for her deciding what to do with it. meanwhile your cock will remain hard and not look or feel like it came at all. I personally love them and now I have learned that if I deny Jay for a good month before finally allowing some ruined O's it makes them even more sure to be pure agony for him, as I used to feel when letting him have one without being denied a while first that there may have been a tiny bit of relief in it. I think communication is the key, express it all respectfully and then be patient to see if she incorporates it.

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  6. Dear IH, I've been reading your blog for a while now and enjoy your thoughts. My wife and I don't live a D/s lifestyle (pretty much equal partners in most things) but we do occasionally enjoy 'D/s' sex. My lovely wife now controls my orgasm and does enjoy teasing me but she didn't often instigate these sessions, which was frustrating.

    However, on the winter equinox I had my last orgasm (maybe indefinitely but certainly until 2014) and I also surrendered myself completely to worshiping my wife and celebrating only her orgasm. It is the most liberating thing I've done. I love to kiss every inch of her beautiful body and bring her to an intense orgasm with my tongue and often she'll just fall asleep in my arms, my cock hard, my body buzzing with excitement and not one single touch to my manhood. Fantastic! By celebrating her orgasm and giving her intense pleasure, I too am sexually fulfilled. But it took me a long time to work this out and I wouldn't wish anything else.

    Thanks for a great blog and sharing your thoughts.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous,
      Thanks so much for posting. I love hearing stories like the one you posted here. I think it is so cool to hear of other men denying themselves BECAUSE they want to develop a more intimate relationship with the one they love. I will say that seeing the numbers 2014 sure seems like an eternity to me. I don't know if you've ever gone that long before but that is a loonnnng time. I wish you well and hope that you will stop back often and share more of your story or at least share more of your thoughts and opinions as topics that peak your interest are posted.

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