Personally I view Katie as my Mistress Wife. She is the dominant partner in our relationship. We made an agreement in which I agreed to submit and she to assume a leadership role. We later finalized that agreement as one we will forever live when we married. She made promises to forever remain my Mistress Wife in a wife led marriage and me to forever submit to her authority as final.
What neither of us espoused to was the view that Katie is my superior. I would submit that she is better at certain things than I but then I am better than her in others. I know that there are some women that view females as the superior sex. Some go so far as to say that all women are superior to men. Let me be candid on that point. You’re an idiot to believe that! :) Don’t believe me? Just listen to the news. Some women are real bone heads. They do some really stupid things. Some show no value for life and have no respect for others. They murder, steal and commit all forms of crimes. To say that all women are superior to all men – meaning, that even the woman that has way too many loose screws is still superior to the most gifted of men is just ….. I won’t finish that sentence, but you know where I was going with it.
But let me follow that line of thinking for a minute. Let me pretend for a minute to be that superior woman. If I’m superior than I am better than men. I am smarter, wiser, more gifted, etc. But sometimes I’m lonely. I love companionship. I love interaction. I don’t like being lonely. I don’t enjoy being alone. I love stimulating conversation. I love to be challenged. I love to think. I love being with others that I admire and enjoy their company. So, whom should I seek out to adequately satisfy these needs? Hmmmm. I have two choices, a lowly inferior man or another woman of superior intellect? Well, if the man is beneath me, then why on earth would I ever want to hang around ‘him’? He doesn’t challenge me as much as Betty does. He doesn’t have Sharon’s intellect. Rather, he has ADHD and a conversation with him is an exercise in frustration because ALL men have IQ’s so much lower than all females!
Do you see where I am going with this? We tend to be attracted to others that compliment us. Now that compliment may be a partner that enjoys serving, while the woman enjoys being served. The man may be good at tasks and she good at coming up with ideas for him to complete, but then again, there are many men that are right-brained and have that creative mindset that serves as a great compliment to the analytical female computer geek or engineer. It is in those complimentary relationships where a Mistress can thrive if her partner embraces her as one who deserves the very best. If he has the desire to please her, cater to her, and daily seek only what would make her smile he may be a potential submissive man that can compliment a woman’s desire to lead and rule. In fact, even if he has strong dominant traits but also is caring, sensitive and thoughtful he functions best serving and yielding to a woman as his authoritative figure or his wife helping him see that ‘other side’ and assuming a leadership role.
Should a woman find a man that is indeed willing to let go, step aside, and say ‘yes ma’am’ she has found a submissive. That however does not mean that she becomes his superior. Rather it is an agreement or an understanding that there will be a power differential that must exist for the relationship to continue. If not, she cannot continue to be the Mistress wife. She cannot be his Domme and he will no longer be her submissive.
My own thoughts are that the latter relationship is the only way for a D/s relationship to last. I would think that one that is based on a superior/inferior relationship would eventually lead to disrespect, affairs and other evidences of a loss of mutual respect and love that is necessary to hold a relationship together through hard times. I would also think that there will come a time in a Mistress wife’s life where she will experience weakness and succumb to those emotions of being overwhelmed with life.
For example, disease and disability are commonplace, especially as we age. What happens when a woman is struggling to live due to a cancer? What happens should she have a stroke? What happens when she’s been disabled due to a serious auto accident that changes her way of life forever? What happens to a single woman who suddenly loses a job and cannot find another? In those instances she needs a helper. She needs a rock. She needs a partner on whose shoulder she can weep. She needs a man whom she can poor out her fears and anger. She needs an emotional and intellectual equal because it is in those hard times that her true humanness is reviewed. We are all weak, fragile creatures at times. We all have insecurities. The world and it’s problems and evil is so much bigger than us individually. We need others. We need help and security and knowing we are not alone. We need others to talk with and receive counsel. Can only women be of help to another female in that situation? Are you telling me no male is up to the task?
A woman can say she’s superior when everything is going her way but what about in those other times? What if she broke down on a deserted back road at night? What if she happened to find herself in the middle of a violent crime scene? What if she was traveling in a foreign country and became isolated and lost? What if someone came barging into her house and found her home and pointed a gun in her face? Would she still feel superior? Would she feel better and more capable of handling her superior self in each of those situations? Would she really consider herself better than all the men around her? I don’t think so. I think she’d feel weak and vulnerable. She’d be out of her element. She’d be scared. She’d be unsure of her next move. Whatever power and status she felt when things were well would instantly vanish. She becomes what we would all become, a weak scared and insecure person who doesn’t feel quite so self assured and confident at the moment of crisis.
So call yourself what you want. Men, refer to your woman as you will. That is your right to do as you wish. For me, Katie is my dominant partner not my superior. She will forever have the authority to lead our lives as she wishes. I will forever obey her for she is my Mistress Wife. She is my Miss Katie. She is also my Katie-girl, my best friend; my partner and the love of my life.