Saturday, April 27, 2013

It's Only a Matter of Time

The other day Katie's adult daughter was over visiting, something does quite often. On this particular day, I was busy for quite some time working in the kitchen cleaning and then out in the garage on a project I needed to get done. late in the afternoon, Katie came out and told me that her daughter would be staying for dinner but wanted to ask me if we had food in the kitchen to cook for her since she won't eat everything most people eat. We discussed the possibilities and Katie chose one for me to make.

Before she left, I asked Katie, "You know, it's only a matter of time before she starts asking questions about how you and I live as a couple."

"I know," Katie responded with a tone that seemed to take all this in stride.

"What are you going to tell her when she does ask?"

With a smile on her face she answered, "I'm going to tell her you take care of me."

She left me to finish up on the garage project while she went back inside.

A few minutes later I came in, cleaned up, and found them hanging out in the other room. I asked her daughter if she would be joining us for dinner, not knowing if Katie had said anything.
She asked what we were having.

Katie interjected, "He's going to make his delicious salmon that I love so much."

Her daughter smiled and told me she'd be happy to stay. I spent the next 30-40 minutes putting dinner together and served them before joining them myself. After we all had finished, I took their plates and headed back to the kitchen where I remained for well over an hour cleaning up and also getting a cabinet organized, all while the two women watched TV and talked.

I know that questions are going to come. I'm curious to see how this all plays out since I knew that Katie’s former husband was nothing like me. He didn't 'do the kitchen'. He didn't 'do the laundry'. He didn't 'do house chores'. I know she's watching and noticing all of the differences between he and I but she tends to keep thoughts to herself so I wonder how long it will be, or what she will see, that will spawn the questions when curiosity finally gets the best of her.

In many respects I hope that the two of them can get into a good discussion. Not that the word submissive or dominant needs to come up in the conversation but that Katie is able to express honestly how our relationship has evolved over time to the point that I asked her if I could do those things for her that would make her the most happy, as well as our mutual desire that she be the primary decision maker. I don't know that Katie will tell her that she is the one who is the head of our home but I really hope, for her daughters' sake, that she does.

I will keep you posted to that conversation, should it ever come to be.

I'm Hers

Monday, April 22, 2013

So Comfi in Chastity, So Needing to Stay Locked

I mentioned a few posts ago that I sent my Jailbird chastity device back for resizing.  I ordered one a few years back and the retaining ring and spacing between the ring and cage were just not quite right.  I asked Katie if I could try a different combination of ring sizes and spacings and after about three weeks of freedom I tried on the new ring and the tighter spacing and I'm in heaven.  It fits like a glove and it feels so comfortable. 

So hats off to Mature Metal. They do make a fine product that will serve me well for many years to come.  But my writing is not about the perfect fit, it's about my time out of chastity.  I didn't like it. I missed it. And I realized that I am a man that needs it.  You see, a few things happened while I was free to make choices of my own.  First, the lack of a cage really did make me 'feel' less owned; less submissive. Yes, I knew that nothing relationally had changed, but to wake up in the morning and dress without having to lock up was like the old days - before D/s.  Being able to stand when using the Rest Room was nice. Being able to touch myself and self-stimulate was great. But that was wrong.  In fact I found myself on two specific occasions wanking off when I knew that I shouldn't.  I didn't ask and for that very reason, it was wrong. But I made a choice and my choice reflected my weakness of heart to remain disciplined.

I didn't tell Katie because at the time I didn't think it was a big deal, but I realize now, if for the very reason that I'm bringing the acts up now, that it was a big deal on some level.  I thought for certain that my itch to masturbate had been cured.  I was wrong.  I succumbed to my id, my urge, my sexual wants, and pleasured myself without telling Katie.

I've written on many occasions that I believe chastity can do nothing but enhance a relationship, partly because it takes away this very choice. Men can't self-pleasure. They can't focus on their impulsive desires.  They can't because things down there aren't accessible.  They only become accessible when unlocked and that choice is not one they can make. Only 'she' can decide.  Chasity works at its most basic level because it forces proper behavior.  When locked continuously, it encourages a behavioral change. For me, I thought this change was complete. How disappointing to me that it isn't! 

Ladies, sometimes a woman needs to apply tough-love to a situation.  Locking a man's penis, when he wants out, is one such time that she needs to remain strong.  It's an act of love. It demonstrates  her care for the man, and the relationship she has with her submissive.

As I reflect on my own situation, I regret my choices.  I wish I could have looked back on those few weeks as a period where I had the choice to enjoy my self but chose not to.  Unfortunately I can't.  As I look ahead, I hope that Katie removes the chance of choice altogether by keeping me locked continuously, or nearly so.  It would be a gift of love that she gives, and one that would allow me to spend even more time in the cage that feels so comfortable to wear now.

I'm Hers

Thursday, April 18, 2013

She's Got it Made

I love knowing that others see our relationship as not being the typical husband/wife bond.  Times when others reveal their feelings of what they see going on with us are not often spoken but when they are, it brings a smile to my face.  Here is one such example:
A few days ago Katie went out with a few of her girlfriends to celebrate one of their birthdays.  They were out for a few hours and arrived home around after having dinner and socializing.  I asked Katie how her evening went and she shared some of the highlights of her conversations and topics of discussion.  One such comment made us both smile and made Katie in particular smile with a sense of pride and satisfaction.
One of the women she met up with was one she hadn’t seen since before the holidays. During the course of their conversation Leslie asked, “Katie, now that you’ve been married, are you spending more time in the kitchen cooking?”
“No,” she replied, “but He is.” She said with a smile.
Immediately Katie’s best friend chimed in, “Yea Leslie, He cooks for her and gives her massages." Then she added, "She’s got it made.”
 It is my hope that Katie feels that she indeed has it made.  I hope she feels like she has me firmly under her control and in her grasp. I hope that she knows that I will obey her without question when it comes to serving and pleasing. I hope that she is willing to test my obedience to ensure that it has not slackened in its intensity to obey as I promised I would do “until death do us part.”
I’m Hers

Monday, April 15, 2013

Just another Day in Our Life

My cell phone died on me today so we went to the store that carried our phones to see if they could do anything to get it back up and running. They couldn’t. While Katie and I chatted with the woman who was taking care of us, she noticed the necklace I had given her when we married.
“I love your necklace. It looks handmade.”
“It is. He gave it to me when we got married?”
“I’m impressed,” said the woman to me.
I thanked her and she told me that now I have expectations that I’ll need to uphold and even surpass from now on.
I laughed and told her, “I’ve had expectations to uphold with Katie, ever since we met.”
She and Katie laughed and seemed to share a knowing glance with one another. We talked for a few more minutes and she conceded that the phone was under warrantee but it appeared to have some corrosion at the contact points where the charger connected. She feared that the repair people would conclude there was water damage and charge me some exorbitant price for the phone. She suggested I just get a new one.
We thanked her for her advice and left without a phone. We were pinched for time and went to Chic Filet for lunch. I told Katie I knew what she wanted; she repeated what I already knew and told me to charge it on the Discover Card since they were offering rebates on restaurants this month. She headed off to wash her hands and get a table while I waited in the noon-rush line for our meal. Over lunch we talked about the phone and Katie decided to shop for one for me later in the day when she was near a store where she has a membership and could get a better deal.
After lunch, I headed off to work and she to run her errands before going to work herself. She negotiated a deal for another phone which I now have and works wonderfully. So, now I have a new phone. We started the process together but Katie finished it. The transaction and decision making was both mutual yet finalized with her approval.
As an aside, we were talking on the phone yesterday while I drove home from work and she told me, “I got two new tires for my car.”
“Oh, “ I said a bit surprised that she had done that, but also knowing that a few weeks ago I had told her that the rubber on the back tires were getting really thin, so much so that I could see white ‘material’starting to show.
“I stopped by the tire store and they gave me a good price so I had them put new tires on.”
I smiled to myself as she told me what she went ahead and had done. I love that she feels so free to just do as she wants. I know she is on top of our finances and keeps track of what we spend so I have no worries about us overspending. Personally, I love the freedom of know that although I don’t have money to spend that all of her money is being spent wisely. It is a very freeing feeling. I have no issues with having my funds go to her account without first coming to me. I have no issues with only getting an allowance to manage twice monthly. Katie takes care of me. She takes care of us. She seeks my opinion, yet acts independently of me most of the time. Whenever she orders something online, or makes a purchase as she did with the tires or a refurbished cell phone for me, I do not question her. I told her that I would embrace her decisions and embrace them I will. It makes no sense for me to question her as that is not my role as her submissive husband. If she wants my opinion, I will give it to her but if she doesn’t I keep those thoughts to myself. For me, and for us, I think that has worked quite well in making her feel supported and loved.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Chastity, Denial and the Hesitant Wife

I personally find chastity to be one way that a woman can almost instantly cause significant positive changes in a man who has an interest in male submission. When a woman locks a man's penis so that he cannot touch it or use it to pleasure himself, or use it to dictate sexual activity without her wanting sexual intimacy it changes a man. It impacts his psyche in major ways. It's like taking a thick black marker and writing on the soul of his being "I love you but I'm the one now in charge!" Yet I think that many women shy away from trying this because they feel awkward or feel that they are being mean and/or cruel to their husbands. Others believe its just weird to do incorporate chastity into their relationship. Others believe that in order to be a woman in charge you need to be mean and unloving. None of this need be the case and it is to you that this post is directed.
There are two basic premises that I am basing my thoughts on:

First, I am going by the assumption that submission and chastity is a topic of discussion that your husband has had with you. I am assuming that there have been hints left that have led you to believe that he desires you to be the head of your home; that he would love to be your helpmate rather than you submitting to him as the head of your home. On the topic of chastity I would suspect that he has either verbalized, hinted or if pressed for an answer, desires you to take control of his ejaculations and decide when and how the two of you will make love. My guess is that his desire deep down is to focus on pleasing you since that is at the heart of true submission.
Second, I am assuming that you are somewhat hesitant to try male chastity or you aren't really interested in embracing this as a part of your relationship although (and that is the key thought) you know enough about female dominance to know that you very much enjoy and relish your husband becoming a man who wants to submit to you, do those things for you that you  have always wished he would and make you the center of his hife.  I am assuming that you as a woman have at least some interest in letting him submit so you are free to make family decisions and have things done the way you want, but you don't particularly care to make chastity a primary (or even a secondary) focus of your life. You find the fact of being the holder of the key interesting, enticing and even inviting but you really don't want to be put out and have demands put on you by your man to unlock you when HE wants to be unlocked.

Ladies, is this you? Can you identify with me at least a wee bit with where I am going?  If you can, let me explain how I would go about revolutionizing your man's attitude toward you. Not only will it inject a ton of fun and life into your bedroom but it will instantly cause him to submit, obey, and focus on you in ways you could have only before dreamed he would do.  You need to do very little to make this all a reality. You won't need to give his midsection much thought, you won't need to worry about how his parts are doing down there, you won't need to do much of anything unless you want to tease and play with him as your comfort level with chastity increases. 
Here is one way remove many issues that couples often have conflict with, and how to make his desire YOU and you alone.  Chastity changes a man. It changes him in ways you can't believe.  And there's not much you need to do because you aren't the one locked up. He is. It is he that will have to cope and adjust to the fact that he is locked and now under your control. It's him whose job it becomes to please and make you happy since that is the only way he is now ever going to get unlocked.  Yet even though he is going to want out, he's also going to NOT want out. It's a wonderful paradox for both of you. You may never come to understand how he feels but I can tell you that he will want to be relocked and will ask you to lock him for even longer periods because of the sexual tension that results when he is denied, the passion he feels for you, the sexual tension, and the fact that he can't follow his urges. When the device is secured, he will change. There will be no more masturbation. He will not dictate or push you to have sex when you aren't interested. Oh, he will want to please you. He'll want to be near you. He will be wanting to hold and cuddle the woman he loves but he can't go much further than that unless you permit it. It's not the chastity that will cause all of these changes. I believe part of it has to do with denial, part to chastity and a significant part due to a loss of independence and resulting increasing dependence on you. Doesn't that sound wonderful to you as a woman? You get a man that not only wants you but now needs you and desires to court you once again.

If your husband approaches you with the desire to try chastity, or if the two of you happen to have a discussion and you feel that he might be interested in spending time as a chaste man then proceed. Tell him that you want to give this a try but that it will only work on your terms and not his.  If he agrees, tell him to research various chastity devices and in a weeks time come to you with three of four options from which you will choose one for him to purchase.  I'd have him do so with the added requirement of researching the pro's and con's of each.  In the end, you decide.  If there are measurements that need to be taken, make it his responsibility to do all of the leg work and come back to you with the final details. He can even place the order and have it sent to him.  As an aside, when you do order a chastity device (and I have ordered two), companies send them very discretely. No child or postal delivery person will ever suspect what is in the box that arrives via UPS, FedX or via your mail.
When the package finally arrives all you need to do is to tell him to figure out how to put it on, lock himself up and to give you all keys that were sent.  You don't need to see it, look at it, or touch it.  Now as a man, it's way more fun and erotic for him if you do take at least some interest but even if you did, it doesn't need to be much.  At this point, there is no worry on your part. He won't die. He won't have anything fall off. He'll be just fine.  He will have to get use to it. He will soon realize that he will be sitting when urinating rather than standing. If he sits for hours, he may find that putting a small pad under his bottom will make life more comfi but all of that he is more than capable of figuring out by himself.  There's no need for you to bother worrying about his health and well being.

What you need to be aware of is that there will be a breaking in period for him as he accommodates to the additional hardware now attached to his body.  Making him wear it for a day and then taking it off at night for a day or so and then increasing his time in chastity is probably a good idea.  I would work him up to a week in the tube over a 3-4 week period.  Just because you let him out, doesnt' mean that he is permitted to masturbate or have an orgasm while inside you.  That is your choice and you will need to gently let him know that that decision is up to you. If he complains there is no reason to worry or get into a fight with him.  Simply remind him that this was his idea and that he agreed to do this under your terms, not his, before you ever gave him permission to purchase what is securely encasing his organ.

When my wife first put me in chastity (something I was more interested than she) she had me on a 2-4 day period of being kept chaste and then let me out for a day (or an evening).  What she didn't like was the feel of the CB6000 (and later the Mature Metal Jailbird) against her body at night.  She enjoys the two of us sleeping quite cuddled and the hard material wasn't enjoyable for her so she decided to have me sleep unlocked and has continued to do ever since.  She worried initially that life in a tube was a form of punishment and often caved when I asked to be set free for a period of time.  As the months wore on, she became quite immune to my requests realizing that the benefits to her far outweighed my emotional swings and now doesn't even worry about whether or not I am ok being locked for longer periods of time. I think you will fine that many men are kept chaste 24/7 for weeks and months and live very normal lives as healthy and virile men.

Another worry that Katie had was the effect of denying me for longer periods of time on my prostate health.  I offered to do a Google Scholar review for her exploring past studies done that dealt with this issue - eg. infrequent ejaculations and prostate health. After researching for several hours I found NOTHING to indicate that less frequent ejaculations causes any harm on a man's health, sperm count, risk of cancer, etc.  Remember ladies, that when the prostate is full it will spontaneously empty on it's on. Teens and younger men often refer to this as wet dreams. As we age, the prostate may not empty quite so abruptly as with a night time ejaculation but will drool or leak seminal fluid throughout the day.  If a man has bubbles when he urinates, that is most likely due to fluid leaking form the prostate.  All that to say - don't give this a second thought. You aren't going to impact his health by keeping him chaste. If this was a concern, that information would be all over D/s and BDSM blogs and it is not.  Trust me. I looked into this quite extensively because I wanted to ensure that I was not doing something that would cause ill health to my body.

So in summary, if he wants this and you are interested, have him explore, have him order, have him put it on and you decide how long it will stay on, whether it will remain on at night or not and how long you will restrict his ability to orgasm.  I hope that you understand that there aren't risks, pains, negatives or punishments when you do all this.  You are doing this because it will develop a more intimate relationship with better communication. You are doing this because you want to control your sex life and never more want to feel the pressure to perform. I would encourage you to try it. Give it a few months. What have you got to lose? Nothing. What have you to gain? More fun and joy and intimacy than you ever thought possible.

I'm Hers

Friday, April 5, 2013

Jailbird vs CB6000 Chastity Devices

I am sitting while locked in a CB6000. I decided to send my Mature Metal Jailbird back for a modification as I wanted a larger retaining ring. I forgot just how comfortable the 6000 can be and wanted to write a bit and compare the two for any that are thinking about wearing any of these devices.

As a bit of preface, I am wearing the standard size 6000. I believe the tube itself is 3.5" long. It is shipped with five ring sizes. It also comes with a variety of spacers that allow one to adjust the distance between the retaining ring and the tube. The variety of retaining rings and spacers allows the wearer to find a combination that fits him comfortably.

With that thought in mind, let me say that the key to keeping your self chaste - meaning, that you can't get yourself out of the device is to limit the distance between the retaining ring and the tube. The size of the retaining ring is irrelevant to keeping the balls trapped, as long as the larger size of the ring doesn't increase the open space between the two parts.

With regard to my jailbird, I chose to follow the advice of one poster -'pansy tart' who talked about how to minimize the size of the tube and still retain comfortableness. If interested, read the 11.28.11 post. He describes measuring ones' penis when it is in its smallest state and then subtract a 1/2". I did that and use a Jailbird cage that is only 2.5" long but much larger in girth than the 6000 tube. The problem I am having with the Jailbird is fluid retention in my scrotum because the retaining ring is too small. I'm going to try a 1/4" larger ring. One might not think that a 1/4" increase will do much but after figuring out the area of a circle, I learned that I am increasing the area within the ring from 2.5 square inches to 3.5 square inches - a pretty significant relative increase in area. I'm hoping it solves the problem.
When purchasing the Jailbird, you can opt for a round or oval retaining ring.

The differences between the two devices are not great. One significant difference is weight. The first time you fasten yourself into a steel cage after having lived inn a plastic one, you can't help but notice the weight of the steel. It's significantly more. It's not uncomfortable but it is definitely heavier.

Second, I've found the thinner steel ring to be more comfortable than the thicker plastic retaining ring of the 6000.

Third, I love that I can let my penis breathe in the jailbird. I was hesitant to increase the tube diameter to one larger than the 6000, but I selected a tube ring size that will slip over by cock with ease. As a result it's not squished inside and up against the plastic tube the way I fit into the 6000. For me, the only way I can get myself fully in the 6000 tube is to either apply a lubricant to my appendage to decrease friction and try to push it fully inside. It never makes it quite all the way in but will settle in eventually. My preferred method is the 'panty hose' method in which I slip the open end over my penis and push the other end in the tube and out the pee hole. If I push the head of my penis (that is now covered with the panty hose) in the tube and pull the other end, the stocking will pull the penis completely in. I just keep pulling on the panty hose until it eventually pulls free and out through the pee hole. I fit inside all nice and cozy this way without any feeling of confinement or crampage of skin that sometimes happens when I use the lubricant method.

For me another advantage to the steel Jailbird is the ability to be resized. Now granted, the 6000 comes with resizing ability right from the get-go. You have a variety of retaining rings and spacers to choose from. Before purchasing a Jailbird, I recommend purchasing the plastic rings. You can choose a cage size, as well as a retaining ring size. Don't be afraid to go larger with either. The key is comfort as you may end up spending many weeks if not months trapped inside the cage you so dearly want to have your wife agree for you to purchase. Choose your fate wisely and think comfort. That is what I'm trying to resolve fully, even after having lived in the jailbird for over a year.

One of the positions that sometimes cause me discomfort is sitting. The 6000 is made to keep the device a low profile one by pointing the penis tube almost directly downward. The problem comes when sitting as the tube touches the seat and is pushed up - really the stress is an outward (erection direction) motion that can cause the skin underneath to stretch and become irritated. I rectify this when driving long distances by sitting on a backpacking pillow to add just an inch of lift so I can sit comfortably. My Jailbird doesn't have this issue because the 'tube' is so small. At 2.5" it stays out of the way and I can sit comfortably without the need for a booster pillow.

Looks is another consideration. Katie likes the look of steel and for her, she prefers me locked in steel than in plastic.

Durability: I have broken two retaining rings that have required replacing. If parts do break, you can order others through the company but the initial cost you pay for the 6000 may not be your last expense.
Cost: The 6000 is about half the cost of the Jailbird. I believe the 6000's run in the $160 range while the Jailbird ran me close to $300.

Guarantee: If some part of the 6000 breaks, and it will with time, you are on the hook for replacement parts. The Jailbird is guaranteed for life. I like that.

The lock. The lock on the 6000 'clinks' when I walk quickly. I have to put a rubber band around it to keep it from making a methodical clunk, with every step. On the other hand the Jailbird lock sticks out to the side and doesn't sit nicely with a low profile on the top of the cage. My solution.... I purchased a tap and die set and threaded the cage and retaining ring holes so that I could put a screw in it. I use a 1/2" screw that fits perfectly. I love it and it's secure. You can purchase screws from the company with some odd shaped female head that only your keyholder's 'screwdriver' will work in it, but for me a simple Philips head with the promise that I won't unlock unless I ask, works fine for us.

That's my comparison of the two. Love to have others react and comment if you wish. I know this is a topic of interest among newbie's to chastity so feel free to share your thoughts and knowledge for the benefit of others. This post is but the opinion of one. Love to have others chime in.

I'm Hers.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Feeling Close, Feeling Submissive

This is another in a series of posts that I am really writing to women that have an interest in becoming a man’s Mistress Wife and in charge of the family but having some reservations. The purpose of this post is to share some of my feelings that have resulted from Katie taking control of me, and the freedom I had previously with regard to sex and intimacy. The changes I have seen in myself since she has slooowly become more dominant have been dramatic indeed. I am no longer a selfish man. I have become a more affectionate, caring considerate man and what occurred last night is but one of hundreds of examples I could provide to substantiate the evolutionary change in me since she became a loving, dominant woman.
Last night Katie and I made love. We were cuddling in bed talking and holding one another in the dark of night. I began to touch her and she became aroused. She told me to put on some lubricant and I knew immediately what she wanted. We were intimate and remained intimate for some time. She climaxed three times. She made me feel wonderful as well but my focus as we made love was her. I wanted to please her. She never told me that my role now was to service her sexually but I have learned over time that it is her expectation.  I learned this because I am restricted from orgasm without her permission and I knew that on this night she wasn’t going to allow me. And so my focus was on pleasuring her. I listened and responded to the rises and falls of her emotions until she had had enough. During that ten to fifteen minute time, I never felt the climactic waves of satisfaction that she did. Oh I felt wonderful. I got close twice; real close, but never ejaculated. Mostly I just wanted to last so that she could feel the most pleasure possible as we made love. When she turned aside I was left aroused and wanting more. It’s how I always feel. But for some reason last night I must have said something that softened her heart because she asked me if I wanted to cum.
My immediate thought was one of a gasp, a surprise, and a surprise that didn’t conjure up good feelings. I didn’t immediately think ‘YES!!!’
I answered her question with a question, “are you feeling sorry for me?”
“You seem so pitiful. Do you want to cum?” She asked once more.
“I don’t know. Is this what you want?” I didn’t want her to say yes.
“I was going to let you cum on day 51.”
“What if yesterday was day 51?” I asked, not really knowing what day today was since she last let me release.
“Then I guess tonight this is day 1 and you just missed your chance for awhile,” she giggled.
We talked about her perception of me acting ‘pitifully’ for at least five minutes. One part of her wanted me to experience an orgasm. Another part didn't. Katie touched me and noticed that I was finally starting to lose my arousal. She made some comment about me now being OK and not needing a release after all. Turning away, she pulled my arm around her and we drifted off to sleep.
I don’t know that pitiful is the word I would have used to describe my emotions at that moment. I wanted so badly to experience an orgasm. But I feel that way every time. Yet, I didn’t want her to let me. If she had, I would have felt great for but a second and then it would have been gone. The feelings of closeness would have left and been gone for a few days. But the way Katie makes love is the best. She lets me feel 90% of what she does. I feel that feeling of climax approach. Last night I felt it twice. Sometimes I feel it more than that. It’s an incredible feeling. And when she is done and emotionally exhausted, I too am left feeling sexually charged. Many call that feeling 'sexually frustrated’ and it is at some level, but it is also I also a wonderful state to be left. It’s like she has woken a tiger, dangled a meal before him but not permitted him to eat. It is a delicious feeling. So to be offered the chance to orgasm made me gasp. It would take several days to have that emotion of wanting her return. I didn’t want that. I actually prefer denial. 
Ladies, the point I want to drive home with this tale is to not feel guilty.  The temptation to allow ejaculation will be there, especially if he asks.  But if you stand your ground you will be rewarded. How? By gaining the high ground for one. By taking control of the bedroom for another. By understanding that by denying him you will get more later that evening; more affection, more cuddling, more satisfaction.  You will also get a more loving, caring husband the next day and every day after, IF you show some affection, maybe tease a little, and let him know how much you love him, and his new-found desire to give rather than take.
In the end, all I wanted to do was to hold her tight against me. I told her in the morning, what I really wanted to do was to curl up close and put my face against her breasts and have her hold me while we slept. I wanted to be overwhelmed by her femininity. I wanted to nuzzle myself against her and let her love me in that soft, quiet way as we rested.
I shared my feelings. She could identify. She told me that although she offered me the chance to cum, she didn’t’ know if she would follow through with it because she knew it might lessen my affection toward her. I told her how I felt with regard to my desire to sleep with my face against her breast. She understood. I told her how emotionally close I have been feeling the last several days. I don’t know why. I never feel far from her. She’s always on my mind, but I know that part of that dependent feeling of needing to be near her has to do with my time in denial. I know that a significant part of that has to do with her asking less and telling me more. I wrote about that in a recent post, mentioning all of the little gifts she gives me when she speaks her mind. I love that. I love it even more when it is linked to her being affectionate with me.
Ladies, I don’t know what your relationship is like with your husband. It may be fantastic and you may not want to tinker with it. What I can tell you is that if you read the blogs on the right sidebar of this page, it won’t take you long to realize that the men here love being dominated. They love having their wife take control of them as well as their relationship. They will tell you that because their wife has embraced her dominance, their love relationship has deepened. I know mine has.
I know too that there are men out there that ache for the woman they love to be that woman. They realize that they have so much more to give if only she would accept his submission. I’ve received more than one email from men expressing that thought. Men need a strong woman. Men crave a woman that will speak her mind. Men crave a woman that will love them, control them and make them obey – if they do so under an umbrella of a loving caring relationship. Ladies, if you are missing love. If you wish that there might be more conversation, more casual intimacy, less pressure to perform in bed, more cuddling, more feelings of closeness, then know that this may be a means to an end.
I’m not saying that you won’t have bumps in the road. We had a bump in the road last night. But we paused. We worked through it, and Katie never relinquished her role as my Mistress Wife. I never pushed her to act before she was ready. And in the end, we communicated. We shared our feelings. And that is something I know we have that many couples don’t have – the ability to talk about everything – including our sex life and how we feel when one of us (me in this instance) feels vulnerable.
I’m Hers.