Monday, April 1, 2013

Feeling Close, Feeling Submissive

This is another in a series of posts that I am really writing to women that have an interest in becoming a man’s Mistress Wife and in charge of the family but having some reservations. The purpose of this post is to share some of my feelings that have resulted from Katie taking control of me, and the freedom I had previously with regard to sex and intimacy. The changes I have seen in myself since she has slooowly become more dominant have been dramatic indeed. I am no longer a selfish man. I have become a more affectionate, caring considerate man and what occurred last night is but one of hundreds of examples I could provide to substantiate the evolutionary change in me since she became a loving, dominant woman.
Last night Katie and I made love. We were cuddling in bed talking and holding one another in the dark of night. I began to touch her and she became aroused. She told me to put on some lubricant and I knew immediately what she wanted. We were intimate and remained intimate for some time. She climaxed three times. She made me feel wonderful as well but my focus as we made love was her. I wanted to please her. She never told me that my role now was to service her sexually but I have learned over time that it is her expectation.  I learned this because I am restricted from orgasm without her permission and I knew that on this night she wasn’t going to allow me. And so my focus was on pleasuring her. I listened and responded to the rises and falls of her emotions until she had had enough. During that ten to fifteen minute time, I never felt the climactic waves of satisfaction that she did. Oh I felt wonderful. I got close twice; real close, but never ejaculated. Mostly I just wanted to last so that she could feel the most pleasure possible as we made love. When she turned aside I was left aroused and wanting more. It’s how I always feel. But for some reason last night I must have said something that softened her heart because she asked me if I wanted to cum.
My immediate thought was one of a gasp, a surprise, and a surprise that didn’t conjure up good feelings. I didn’t immediately think ‘YES!!!’
I answered her question with a question, “are you feeling sorry for me?”
“You seem so pitiful. Do you want to cum?” She asked once more.
“I don’t know. Is this what you want?” I didn’t want her to say yes.
“I was going to let you cum on day 51.”
“What if yesterday was day 51?” I asked, not really knowing what day today was since she last let me release.
“Then I guess tonight this is day 1 and you just missed your chance for awhile,” she giggled.
We talked about her perception of me acting ‘pitifully’ for at least five minutes. One part of her wanted me to experience an orgasm. Another part didn't. Katie touched me and noticed that I was finally starting to lose my arousal. She made some comment about me now being OK and not needing a release after all. Turning away, she pulled my arm around her and we drifted off to sleep.
I don’t know that pitiful is the word I would have used to describe my emotions at that moment. I wanted so badly to experience an orgasm. But I feel that way every time. Yet, I didn’t want her to let me. If she had, I would have felt great for but a second and then it would have been gone. The feelings of closeness would have left and been gone for a few days. But the way Katie makes love is the best. She lets me feel 90% of what she does. I feel that feeling of climax approach. Last night I felt it twice. Sometimes I feel it more than that. It’s an incredible feeling. And when she is done and emotionally exhausted, I too am left feeling sexually charged. Many call that feeling 'sexually frustrated’ and it is at some level, but it is also I also a wonderful state to be left. It’s like she has woken a tiger, dangled a meal before him but not permitted him to eat. It is a delicious feeling. So to be offered the chance to orgasm made me gasp. It would take several days to have that emotion of wanting her return. I didn’t want that. I actually prefer denial. 
Ladies, the point I want to drive home with this tale is to not feel guilty.  The temptation to allow ejaculation will be there, especially if he asks.  But if you stand your ground you will be rewarded. How? By gaining the high ground for one. By taking control of the bedroom for another. By understanding that by denying him you will get more later that evening; more affection, more cuddling, more satisfaction.  You will also get a more loving, caring husband the next day and every day after, IF you show some affection, maybe tease a little, and let him know how much you love him, and his new-found desire to give rather than take.
In the end, all I wanted to do was to hold her tight against me. I told her in the morning, what I really wanted to do was to curl up close and put my face against her breasts and have her hold me while we slept. I wanted to be overwhelmed by her femininity. I wanted to nuzzle myself against her and let her love me in that soft, quiet way as we rested.
I shared my feelings. She could identify. She told me that although she offered me the chance to cum, she didn’t’ know if she would follow through with it because she knew it might lessen my affection toward her. I told her how I felt with regard to my desire to sleep with my face against her breast. She understood. I told her how emotionally close I have been feeling the last several days. I don’t know why. I never feel far from her. She’s always on my mind, but I know that part of that dependent feeling of needing to be near her has to do with my time in denial. I know that a significant part of that has to do with her asking less and telling me more. I wrote about that in a recent post, mentioning all of the little gifts she gives me when she speaks her mind. I love that. I love it even more when it is linked to her being affectionate with me.
Ladies, I don’t know what your relationship is like with your husband. It may be fantastic and you may not want to tinker with it. What I can tell you is that if you read the blogs on the right sidebar of this page, it won’t take you long to realize that the men here love being dominated. They love having their wife take control of them as well as their relationship. They will tell you that because their wife has embraced her dominance, their love relationship has deepened. I know mine has.
I know too that there are men out there that ache for the woman they love to be that woman. They realize that they have so much more to give if only she would accept his submission. I’ve received more than one email from men expressing that thought. Men need a strong woman. Men crave a woman that will speak her mind. Men crave a woman that will love them, control them and make them obey – if they do so under an umbrella of a loving caring relationship. Ladies, if you are missing love. If you wish that there might be more conversation, more casual intimacy, less pressure to perform in bed, more cuddling, more feelings of closeness, then know that this may be a means to an end.
I’m not saying that you won’t have bumps in the road. We had a bump in the road last night. But we paused. We worked through it, and Katie never relinquished her role as my Mistress Wife. I never pushed her to act before she was ready. And in the end, we communicated. We shared our feelings. And that is something I know we have that many couples don’t have – the ability to talk about everything – including our sex life and how we feel when one of us (me in this instance) feels vulnerable.
I’m Hers.


  1. Wonderful post again, Mr I'm-Hers. I wish I could write like you.


    1. Appy..... true story. I was in my first semester of college. I had a writing class - I hated it. I remember but one day of that class. My teacher put my essay up for all to see and then butchered it! He picked that thing apart - grammar, spelling, organization, etc. I just sat silent and I"m sure my face was bright red and all knew that it was mine he was ripping to shreads. Years later I received my satisfaction when I saw a stack of his books that he had written in an 'overstock' store. Ahh, no one was buying them! Justice finally :)

      Take care my friend.

    2. I didn't only mean the way you are writing, but also WHAT you are writing. You are expressing my thoughts and feelings.
      Thank you.


  2. Another great post, and I know that feeling of teetering back and forth between wanting my slave to cum and wanting him in denial. Sometimes it is a hard choice for the Mistress. I really get off on letting my slave cum knowing that he can only do it inside my body and only when I say, I am in full control of his pleasure, but then I also like denying him too. So I am having fun with both and taking it day by day with what I want at the moment.

    1. Mistress Marie, and that is the way it should be - you taking it day by day and doing with him as you wish. It teaches him discipline, respect, and serves as a constant reminder that you, not he, is in charge of your relationship. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Hi IH,

    What a great post. My KH/Spouse also has trouble with the dilemma of "do I let him have a release or not" and she has asked me to explain my feelings on that but I have trouble doing it. Your post explains it much better than I ever could. When the subject comes up again, I'm going to show her this blog entry. Thanks so much. Hope you had a great Easter.

    1. Wishful4, Yes, I had a wonderful Easter as I know you did as well. So, you are going to make be be the one that foots the blame for when you want something explained now, am I? lol

      Just joking. I'd be interested to hear what your wife says should she read this.

    2. Well, I am the type person that makes use of all the resources available when trying to be successful at something. You are fantastic when it comes to putting a pen to your thoughts so I would be remiss if I didn't take full advantage of it. Then, depending on the outcome, I can either thank you or blame you. Have a great day! :-)

  4. Nice post - my dilemma is after an extended orgasm denial period I get so pent up I could cum in a few seconds when I'm allowed to enter my Queen's pussy. I don't think she gets her money's worth when I can't last any amount of time before I have to stop all motion and/or pull out until I calm down again. Isn't this a problem for you? How do you handle it when she wants fucked and you can't last?

  5. Anonymous,
    I think everyone is different. I know that when I was younger I experienced what you do - less control. But when I hit 50 things changed. Now I can usually go for quite a while - at least 5-10 minutes usually, but even then it's not the same everytime. Sometimes I am more excitable than at others.

    I think a big difference between me and many others that are denied is that I am not locked 24/7 - I"m always out at night and often Katie wants to enjoy what is hers several times a week. I say that because I'm not as sensory deprived as many men and I think that makes a big difference. Thanks for sharing.