Saturday, April 27, 2013
It's Only a Matter of Time
The other day Katie's adult daughter was over visiting, something does quite often. On this particular day, I was busy for quite some time working in the kitchen cleaning and then out in the garage on a project I needed to get done. late in the afternoon, Katie came out and told me that her daughter would be staying for dinner but wanted to ask me if we had food in the kitchen to cook for her since she won't eat everything most people eat. We discussed the possibilities and Katie chose one for me to make.
Before she left, I asked Katie, "You know, it's only a matter of time before she starts asking questions about how you and I live as a couple."
"I know," Katie responded with a tone that seemed to take all this in stride.
"What are you going to tell her when she does ask?"
With a smile on her face she answered, "I'm going to tell her you take care of me."
She left me to finish up on the garage project while she went back inside.
A few minutes later I came in, cleaned up, and found them hanging out in the other room. I asked her daughter if she would be joining us for dinner, not knowing if Katie had said anything.
She asked what we were having.
Katie interjected, "He's going to make his delicious salmon that I love so much."
Her daughter smiled and told me she'd be happy to stay. I spent the next 30-40 minutes putting dinner together and served them before joining them myself. After we all had finished, I took their plates and headed back to the kitchen where I remained for well over an hour cleaning up and also getting a cabinet organized, all while the two women watched TV and talked.
I know that questions are going to come. I'm curious to see how this all plays out since I knew that Katie’s former husband was nothing like me. He didn't 'do the kitchen'. He didn't 'do the laundry'. He didn't 'do house chores'. I know she's watching and noticing all of the differences between he and I but she tends to keep thoughts to herself so I wonder how long it will be, or what she will see, that will spawn the questions when curiosity finally gets the best of her.
In many respects I hope that the two of them can get into a good discussion. Not that the word submissive or dominant needs to come up in the conversation but that Katie is able to express honestly how our relationship has evolved over time to the point that I asked her if I could do those things for her that would make her the most happy, as well as our mutual desire that she be the primary decision maker. I don't know that Katie will tell her that she is the one who is the head of our home but I really hope, for her daughters' sake, that she does.
I will keep you posted to that conversation, should it ever come to be.