1 Do you believe that a husband needs to be bossed around – meaning, that it’s perfectly fine to tell him what to do?
2 Do you believe that you are not superior to me but that you are above me in rank, that you are my Mistress, and that I am your sub?
3 Do you believe that you are my moral authority – meaning, that when issues of morality arise you determine what my moral value should be in each specific instance?
4 Do you believe you are the arbiter that determines right from wrong?
5 Do you believe that you should be the one that chooses if we go to church, where we go to church, and what my core religious beliefs should be?
6 Do you believe that your rule is law and must be obeyed without question?
8 Do you believe that by serving you, I also serve God?
9 Do you believe that to disobey you is to sin before God?
10 Do you believe that you are God’s earthly representative to me?
11 Do you believe that you have the duty, as well as the right, as my mistress wife, to have complete ownership of me?
12 Do you believe that society would be well served if more men learned proper obedience from the hand of a wife?
Katie, in classic Katie style, answered my questions directly. Most all were yes responses. We discussed the comment of her being my moral authority. I gave her some examples, like if it would be OK to walk up and introduce myself to a woman I didn’t know if she wasn’t around, if it was ok to view blogs that contained porn, etc. After discussing this she told me with no hesitancy that she is my moral compass and all such issues will ultimately be decided by her and must meet her standards.
Where she disagreed had to do with the latter part of question 5 and question 10. Katie will decide where we worship but feels that one’s core religious beliefs is a personal decision. She also doesn’t believe that she is God’s earthly representative to me. To say she was would be to equate her as being appointed specifically by God to serve as his emissary. I agreed with her. Now, I understand that people enter and leave our lives and when they are a part of our life, they may have opportunities to tempt us, influence us, guide us, etc. That may be a God-thing, but who are we to decide or know what God is thinking?
We did discuss the other religious based questions, numbers 8 and 9 above. The answer to those really goes back to my vow to Katie. I promised to serve her. I made that promise before her and before God (in my mind). I promised to love Katie and I promised to love her BY submitting to her authority. In the vow I pledged specifically how I would live that promise out by giving myself entirely to her – my time, my earnings, my effort, my love, my body. For me to break my vow of service would be to not love her as I promised and that is sin. To disobey her is a sin in the same way. It’s not that Katie is a spiritual extension of God, but she is one who I made promises to and to break those promises is to do a wrong. Wrongs, at least in my mind, is to sin.
Not to make this post heavy in theology, but there is a fantastic verse in the book of James. It’s the last one in Chapter 4 and says this (paraphrased): if you know what the right thing to do is and you don’t do it, you have sinned. I love that verse because it personalizes life to where each person is. For me, that verse means that if I ever refuse to submit to Katie; if I ever disobey her; if I ever hold a grudge against her because of what she has told me to do or not do, I’ve done wrong before God and therefore sinned.
It’s an interesting topic for any couple to discuss, regardless of religious views. One doesn’t need to believe in God to ask oneself, if I believe X and don’t do X, is that wrong? Food for thought.