Monday, May 6, 2013

Moron Drivers

Mr SH made a comment on my last post that he was from the south.  So am I. But I wasn't always a southerner. I grew up in the north, that is, north of the Mason-Dixon line.  When I moved south I noticed something.  People down here are friendlier. People who don't even know you wave 'hi' when you drive past them.  People take more time to talk. They aren't is as much of a hurry. Women at check-out counters will call you "dear" "sugar" "darlin' " "honey" or other similar affectionate terms of endearment, that if used up north would cause one not use to these words to look at  you as if you were a bit odd. Up north we say things like "hurry up", "get out of my way idiot", what the H*ll is taking him so long?" and other such kind expressions.

But there is one thing down here that drives me nuts. It's this! 
Do you see anything wrong with this picture?  I do.  It screams 'MORON'. And these people are all over the place down here. I don't know what the bleepity, bleep they teach kids in driver's ed class in southern schools but somewhere, the fact that the law states that the right lane is the traveling lane and the left lane is to be used for PASSING only got lost in the south.  I am so tempted to put a sign on the side window of the driver's side of my car that states "If I'm passing you and you can read this, YOU ARE A MORON."

And then, to top it off, not only do they drive in the left lane when no one is around, and not only do they refuse to pull over when a car, meaning me, appears behind them in their mirror, what they just love to do is to settle in next to a car that is on their right and drive the exact same speed and thus piss off every one that is behind them because now, no one can pass anybody!

If you are from the south, know that I'm not alone in my thinking. I typed in 'traveling lane passing lane' and did a google image search and found this post.  I could not have said it any better than this person from Michigan. It's a fantastic post and even if you are guilty of driving irresponsibly in the left lane, it should make you laugh.

If you are guilty of this, please do not travel north.  If you do, do so at your own peril.  Driving this way in Philly, NYC, Chicago, or other progressive upstanding northern metropolitan area will get you an earful of blowing horns, middle fingers, angry looks and possibly someone getting out of their car and walking up to your driver's window to give you a piece of their mind.  Should you decide to spend a month their, just know that when you return to your southern plantation and sip once more on sweet tea and walk slowly down the sidewalk amidst the oppressive summer heat and humidity, that when you decide to hit the road and have a choice of driving in the right or wrong lane, you will make the right choice. Being embarrassed by rude, calloused northerners will change you and in this instance, all of society will benefit.

Don't be this guy.  He's driving a sweet car, but he's a moron, nevertheless. 

Oh, this is a blog about submission, denial and chastity.  I did digress a bit. But to keep it true to it's theme..... I'm on day 95. I asked if I could orgasm when we made love last night but was told 'no'.  I have no clue when Katie will next permit me release. And she, drives in the right lane except to pass.

Not only that, we were out plant shopping yesterday and Katie backed the car up so I could load some items into the trunk.  The owner commented, "A woman that can back a vehicle up, now that is hot!"  Indeed she is.

I'm Hers

8 comments:

  1. I looked at the photos, correlated that I am south and figured all was fine.
    given we drive on the left that is.
    :)

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  2. As you should....... maybe the southern folk in the US originated via Australia :) Hope you are well down under.

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  3. Dude - I think that is what happens when you "Hold it in" too long, just one man's humble opinion :-)

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    1. Dude,
      I was just having some fun with the blog. I cant write about chastity and submission and denial and service all the time. I man's got to let his hair down sometime. And then there is the issue of moron drivers in the south. They are indeed all over the place and really not found that much in the north. Not that I miss the north at all.

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  4. Mr. IH,

    I have the issue you mentioned isolated after several years of intensive research and clinical trials.

    Sweat tea produces a neurotoxin when drank in excess.

    Hope this helps.

    Take care.

    -SH

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    1. Mr SH, the remedy is a simple one...... UNsweet tea with lemon. It's a great toxin cleaner and freshens the breath in the process. I can't handle the sweet tea, it's like drinking pure sugar.

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  5. As a lifetime Southerner, if you don't how we roll down here you are welcome to move the hell back to the north.

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    1. Anonymous, I was having some fun. Relax :) I married a southern gal. I love it here. I just pointed out a southern flaw - not that the north doesn't have it's share of them, e.g., rude, crass, blunt, in-your-face, etc. I hope I didn't lose a reader. If I offended you, I do apologize.

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