Sunday, June 30, 2013

Home Repair Decisions

The other day Katie and I heard a loud ‘crack’ coming from the back of the house. After some exploring we found that the back deck was a few inches lower on one side. After some exploring under the deck we discovered carpenter ants had eaten away at the 2x10 floor joist under the bay window to which the deck was anchored. I did some temporary bracing to prevent it from collapsing any further with cinder block and some 2x4s and went in to talk to Katie.
Of course this event happened the day before the two of us were to leave for the wilderness together. We discussed possible solutions and I told Katie, I really didn’t know how to fix this one. She gathered names and phone numbers from a few carpenters her neighbor had used in the past and had me call each to set up a time for them to come and give us an estimate.
We left home as we had planned and ten days later, Katie flew home while I remained in the Northeast. I called one of the men she had asked the day I dropped her off at the airport to discuss the deck issue. I wouldn’t be back for another few weeks and he asked if I wanted to meet with him personally.
"No, that’s really not necessary,” I replied, “Katie makes all of the final decisions anyway and she wants this done right. She's going to write you the check when you are all done, not me. I don't write the checks.” I added. 
He laughed and told me that he understood as is wife most often did the same in his home. Together we chuckled, continued our conversation and I set up a time for him to come to the house when Katie would be home. He did and the two of them talked about repair options. She chose the option to have it done right, rather than patch the problem with a bandaid solution.
So the deck will be fixed. Hopefully it will be repaired properly and the cause of the problem, wet wood that invited the carpenter ants in the first place, will be resolved by installing flashing at the base of the siding. I love that Katie leans on me when we have issues such as this. I love too that she has the confidence to make a final decision after we talk about our options. Although the house is ours, I view it as hers. I do so because it keeps me focused on the primary goal of my life – serving her; obeying her; submitting to her. For me that mindset works.

I'm Hers

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Happy Wife Happy Life

At work several months ago I received an email from Katie.  All that it said was 'happy wife, happy life'.  This picture was attached and when I opened it I smiled.  How true that picture is.  To me, it's not a pic about turning over my pay check to her but rather one in which she expects me to give her my all; my self, my life, my love, my devotion, my time, my service.  I love this lady.  I love loving her and by submitting to her I have realized just how much more I am able to love her.  The distractions and temptations that were in my past are minimal.  When I pass another attractive woman, I know that there is no way that she could compare to Katie in expressing love to me - and then there is the steel cage that keeps my genitals locked - that deter me from even thinking about anything more.

I'm away from her now. I haven't seen her for many days but the days apart only make our reunion that much sweeter and more precious.  I hope that if you are a man, that you can express that kind of 'courting' quality love to your wife/woman you hold so dear and do so each and every day.

If you are finding it hard or if your love life has gotten old, if there is a history of pain that has built an emotional wall between the two of you, I hope you both can sit and talk about how to change your future from being like your recent past. Life is short. Your love need not be strained. There is hope for what you once had to return  once more.  Maybe letting her take charge of you and your marriage is a solution worth exploring.  Think about it. That choice is not one that signafies you are weak, but rather are so very strong.  How many men do you know have the guts to trust to that degree by letting the woman they have pledged their eternal love to serve as the woman who will direct you, and direct you together.

I wish you well and personally I can't wait to see my Katie in a few days.

I'm Hers

Sunday, June 23, 2013

A Request from Katie

Katie has asked me to write this post and specifically address the women readers that happen to see this particular post as she wishes to get perspectives from others with regard to how other dominant women who have charge of a man would handle two specific situations
I mentioned in my last post that I have been out of the Jailbird for awhile. Actually I asked Katie when she wanted me to lock up one day while she was traveling with me on business and she told me to lock up the day after she flew home. That was last week. I didn’t. I just figured that she’d say something to on the day I was to lock but she never did. I assumed wrong and deliberately didn’t lock because I was enjoying time out of the jailbird. I hinted that I was unlocked by mentioning on the phone that I was standing to pee and how nice that was. When I wrote the previous post and sent it for her to approve, I added her response – it was obvious to her that she assumed I was locked, however I wasn’t. Is this something that would bother you? Is this something that would require further discussion, punishment, consequences? Katie would love to hear a female perspective. She is not one that punishes. I’ve only been punished once and that was because I was flirting with another women a few years ago online
The second situation occurred last night. Katie is home. I am away working in the northeast. I’ve been staying in a hotel. On my first evening there, Katie went with some friends to hear a favorite singing group perform. She asked when I was going to bed and I told her around 10 pm. When she got home she texted me sometime after midnight. I woke, responded incoherently and went back to sleep.
Last night she went with girlfriends to a piano recital. I went out to eat. She told me she’d be home in an our of so but I never heard back from her. I returned to my room after my dinner meal. The reason I never heard from her was because I forgot to bring my cell in from the car. I climbed in bed, watched TV and browsed the web. The night got later. Katie didn’t call. It was well after 11 when I checked my email and noticed two panicky emails from her wondering where I was. I looked for my phone that I thought was in the room. It wasn’t. Going to the car I found it along with several missed calls and texts. Katie was obviously worried that something happened to me. I called and realized when she answered that she was crying. She was sobbing in fact. She didn’t know if I had lost my phone, if I had gotten into an accident or what had happened to me. She knew that my instructions were to always keep my phone with me and keep it on, unless I was in an area without cell reception. I felt terrible. We talked and slowly she calmed and relaxed but I knew that this mishap really disturbed her, not from an anger point but from a worry of ‘where is my husband’, perspective.
Ladies, is this something that should be addressed? It was a mistake. I was sloppy with my care of the cell phone. Katie reminded me that I never called her knowing that she told me that she’d be home in an our or so. I assumed she was just out late with her girlfriends and decided not to call – just as she didn’t the night before when she stayed out late at the concert. Does this need to be addressed? Punishment, discussion, new rules, consequences, etc? Katie would love to hear your thoughts and ideas as it relates to her controlling her man; her maintaining order as she expects; and me understanding that my job is to obey and uphold the standard she has set for me.
Comments from males are welcome but Katie would love to hear the thoughts of other women on these matters.
I’m Hers

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Free for Awhile Now

Katie and I left home almost three weeks ago. I of course was locked as I always am. We traveled to see my folks and while there Katie debated on letting me be free for a few days. It just so happened that I mentioned to my mom that I forgot toothpaste. The next morning there was a tube of toothpaste in my toiletry bag – the very bag where I put the Jailbird when not wearing it. I told Katie. She was horrified that she almost exposed her mother-in-law to our way of living. I too was relieved that Mom didn’t make that discovery for I am certain that she would have told Dad, who would have confronted me, and totally not understood anything that I would have said in response.
But be that as it may, we left to go camping, something we love to do. This time it was deep in the mountains of New England for a few days. The morning that we were to leave I asked Katie if she wanted me locked as she told me no. I raised my eyebrows in surprise but obeyed. That was June 6th and I have not worn the Jailbird since. At first it was nice, then I began to wonder, and now I can honestly say that I almost miss it and wish she’d have me locked.
Why? Because the symbolism of being locked is powerful for me. I think it is analogous to a slave not having a steel ring around his neck or ankle after being locked for so long. At first it’s nice, but after awhile, one misses feeling the power the steel possesses. I love Katie. I love living my life as her sub. I love feeling her dominance. I love hearing her tell me to lock. I love being told what to do. I love statements so much more than questions that allow me an ‘out’ to what she is requesting.
I am writing this feeling free as a bird, and yet I miss the imprisonment. Maybe someday soon I will be told once more, “Lock up my sub”.
Until then I will wait and live as she would want me to live – as one that is locked even if I am not.
I’m Hers 
 
PS. I wrote Katie to have her approve this post, something I always do. Her response was a follows:  
Post approved, but I told you to lock up when you asked after I left. Not while working just in case
someone bumps up against you, but other than that, yes.
 
So, I guess I'm back in the cage. And to be honest, I need it. Last night was a tempting night for me. I came quite close to doing what I would have later regret. I need to be locked. She needs to keep me locked.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

My Desires

The book Uniquely Rika changed my life and in the process, changed Katie’s. It was after reading that short book and after talking to a woman that had lived the life of a Domme for many years on Collarme that Katie and I had our discussion about service submission. It was then that I presented her a list of offerings I wanted to do and it was then that she circled the chores and expectations she agreed with and drew a line through those that didn’t appeal to her. That was a life changing event. From that day forward my life changed. That day taught me about giving as I realized that submission isn’t about getting but about what I had to offer the woman I wanted to serve. I began my life as the king of the kitchen. I watched the laundry grow in the basket and knew that she wasn’t going to touch it anymore. It was my responsibility to clean what was there and return each article to its proper place. That and a slew of other chores that I offered to do for her began the process of reprogramming me into the new me.

One of the hallmarks of the Rika way was the understanding that a submissive should never expect. His role is to serve. His partners’ role is to expect. His role is to give for no other reason than the joy he experiences while serving his Mistress. To a large measure I have come around to that way of thinking. Mostly I have no regrets about my life as Katie’s submissive husband. There is hardly a day when I don’t thank Katie for being my Mistress wife. We were talking tonight and realized that it’s been about three years since we made that choice. I am a submissive man. I have no trouble saying that and do not feel insecure to admit that to others. A good friend and older woman in her 70’s asked me today while I was helping her around her home, “who does the cooking, you or Katie?” Without pause I told her that I do. I went on to tell her that Katie does not enjoy the kitchen and I offered to cook for the two of us. She asked no further questions and I knew that her curiosity was satisfied. Telling others who I am is getting quite easy. In fact, I enjoy doing so.

But I do have wants. I do have desires. The majority have been satisfied when Katie took me has her sub but there are always wants. At least a few. Mostly those desires have to do with Katie asserting her dominance more. Knowing what I do of her, I don’t think I’ll ever experience her taking joy in putting me over her lap to discipline. That is simply not who she is and I really have no idea if I would enjoy it either. But I do wish she had more desire when it came to reminding me that I am indeed her submissive husband. I mean, she did vow to remind me that I was her sub. She did promise to cultivate that submission. To me, cultivating means more than telling me “I’m hungry, make me a sandwich.” Cultivating is a process of reinforcing our differences. I’d love for her to call me from the other room, “Sub, I need this room vacuumed now.” Or, “you’re here to serve me, clean this cat vomit up while I go downstairs and check my email.” I love it when she uses that word “sub”. I love when she kisses me and tells me how much she loves her “submissive husband”. It’s that word. It is a powerful word. I think the word slave would hold an equal power but that is another one of those taboo terms for her.
 
Sometimes I wish that she’d tell me to massage her feet while we sat together. Sometimes I wish she’d tell me to kiss her feet, or take me by the hand to the bedroom and tell me to kiss her body from head to toe, and to do so because it’s something a submissive man should do for his wife every now and then. Sometimes I wish she’d put my face between her legs and tell me to just stay there without giving me permission to kiss her most intimate parts. It would be a wonderfully powerful tease but also one that would teach obedience and discipline. Sometimes I wish that she would designate a day every month or so where she’d be deliberately dominant. It might be serious. It might be playful. She might tell me to pick up every Christmas tree needle one by one as Lady Grey had her submissive do. It might be a command to clean the kitchen floor with a toothbrush. It might be repeated commands throughout the day to kneel before her until she gives me permission to stand and carry on with what I was doing. It might be a command to reorganize her walk in closet or the job of canvassing of the yard to clean up every drop of dog feces hidden in the grass. She could give me one or two of a hundred things that are not a part of our everyday life that causes me to live out the life of the submissive I am as she executes her right to have be do anything as my dominant wife. The task is not nearly as important as the feeling on both of our parts. For her, it’s getting the guts to make me do something out of the ordinary and different while it’s the associated feeling of surprise and awl that I’d feel knowing that she is upsetting the routine and asserting her rightful rule over me.
 
OK, I feel better. I got this off my chest by writing my thoughts out. I love Katie but sometimes I just feel that we are so vanilla in our manners and actions. Having a reality check, a shock to the routine, a change in how things are done, a surprise appearance of Dominant Katie, would go a long way to cultivating both my submission and her dominance as well as just being fun and create memories and possibly a tradition.
I’m Hers.

Friday, June 14, 2013

A Visit From Sally

On the way home from work I received a call from Katie. She told me to come up with something to make for dinner and asked really because she was calling from a grocery store and needed to know if she needed to purchase any food items. I suggested a meal and she agreed and bought a few fresh vegetables. Soon after arriving home one of her best friends, Sally, texted Katie asking her if she wanted to meet her and her dad for a drink at a nearby establishment. Katie declined because she wasn’t feeling up to it. I could tell she was tired from a long day out and suggested she take a nap. She did and told me to wake her when dinner was ready.

After working for quite some time on our meal, I was just about to go wake Katie, having set the table outside and had the meal already on a platter, when she walked into the kitchen and told me Sally was stopping by.

“Now?” I asked somewhat surprised at the sudden change of plans.

“Yes, she will be here shortly.”

“Do you want to eat now?”

“No, she will be here any minute.”

I didn’t know what to do for a second. The table was set, ice tea was poured, our dinner was hot and now Sally was on her way.

“Do you want to invite her to join us for dinner?” I asked wondering if I needed to set a third place setting.

“I don’t know.”

The doorbell rang a moment later and in came Sally. Katie offered her dinner but she declined. A few minutes later she held up a wine bottle and offered a glass which she accepted. The two went out on the deck while I covered our meal and put it in the fridge. I wasn’t sure if I should join them or not so I decided to stay inside and clean the pots and pans and get the kitchen back in order after destroying it while making our meal. I threw in a load of wash and then joined them several minutes later.

Thirty minutes later Sally left and we ate. Katie thought nothing of the sudden change in plans. I could tell she had enjoyed the company and wasn’t bothered by the sudden arrival of a friend. She didn’t apologize to me for changing our meal time, and to be honest, I don’t know what the conversation was between them prior to Sally stopping by and I never asked.
The next day I did ask about what the two of them talked about and Katie let me see the correspondence between the two.  Here's their dialog:

Sally: U home, I’ll stop by if you want on my way home   

Katie: Sure, let me know when you are on your way

Sally: Leaving now

Katie: K

Sally: Or if ts not a good time that’s okay to

Katie: It’s good “I’m Hers” is cooking

Sally: A perfect situation

I was unaware of that conversation and didn't ask if or when they talked while I was busy cooking. The only comment Katie made to me while we ate was that she noticed I was inside a long time before joining them. I told her why and that was the end of it.

What I found so interesting with this hour segment of our lives was just how easy it was for Katie to feel comfortable doing what she wants when she wanted it. I would conjure a guess that if Sally had called or texted her while she was preparing a meal five years ago, she would have told her she couldn’t meet because she had dinner to serve. But now things are different. She has embraced her dominance. I love seeing this ‘comfort side’ of her that I find so beautiful. She’s finally getting to the point where she is comfortable putting her wants and desires ahead of her need to worry about dinner and working around my cooking timeline. Sally apparently woke Katie while I was fixing the meal. Katie must have invited her. Katie knew I was working on dinner and knew what the meal was I in the making. She also knew that having Sally over would cause me to alter my plans to suit hers.

In the end it wasn’t a big deal, but now, even a few years into our femdom lifestyle I am still adjusting to changes I have to make in my work/chores for Katie, albeit minor in the scope of life. I’m sure there will be many more such examples in the months and years we share together as a married couple. Life is so much more meaningful when relationships are cultivated and in this situation, wanting to see a dear friend meant putting a dinner meal on the back burner temporarily. I promised her I’d obey and submit to her will. I’m trying. It’s not normal. It’s not without some resistance but I am learning to bite my tongue and in this case I chose wisely.

I’m Hers

Monday, June 10, 2013

Is My Mother a Domme?


About three years ago I first discovered D/s and really had no clue that this subculture of a lifestyle existed for thousands of people. If you had asked me then if my Mother was a Domme I would have laughed. But now that I know what to look for; now that I look and listen with discerning eyes and ears - well, now I might answer that she indeed is - or at least has those tendencies. 

I was raised in a house during the 50's and 60's where Dad was in charge.  Oh, I can't tell you how many times my Mom told me, "you just wait until your father gets home."   Those words were scary words. I knew that once my deeds were told to my dad that I would get what I deserved and that it would come in the form of a spanking.  Mom deferred to dad in that situation.  Every once in a while mom would punish but once she knew that her hand on my butt didn't hurt anymore she stopped. Thank goodness she didn't resort to a belt. That would not have been good for me, cause Mom had a temper.

But Mom ran the house. She planned the meals. She paid the bills. She designated funds for immediate needs and saved for vacations or larger expense items that required substantial money; she carted us kids around as was needed and basically ran the house from dawn til dusk.  That was mom back when I was young.  In the last few months she's said some things that give me pause to reconsider if maybe she has changed, just as I've changed.

For example, she will be talking to me on the phone about 'him' and say things like, "he drives me crazy. I told him to go find something to do or I was just going to lose it."

Last year they took an extended vacation. Upon returning she told me, "I'm never going on a vacation with that man again. Next time I am going to go with my sister and have fun and leave your dad at home."

Just a few weeks ago, my sister called to talk about a significant issue that happened with one of her kids. She was quite upset and when she got on the phone my mom could tell there was something wrong.  Apparently dad picked up the other land-line phone at the same time.  My mother, realizing that her daughter was upset decided to have a time of privacy with her daughter. "I told him to get off the phone because I could tell something was up with your sister when she called."  When I heard that I thought, “wow, my mother told my dad to get off the phone?"

Quite recently we were talking on the phone.  I hadn't talked to her in a few weeks and we did some catching up.  We were discussing something when Mom just interjected, "OK, we are done with this topic, let's talk about...." and on she went to discuss whatever else was on her mind.

Then last week I was visiting them and someone recollected a time when Dad was asked to do something and they noticed his first reaction was to immediately turn to his wife as if to get her nod of approval rather than make the decision for himself.

There are all these indications that Mom is the one in charge.  Yet I don't think she feels like she's in charge.  I don't think she feels that her voice is not heard, either, but I doubt that she would tell you that she runs the family. Mom comes from that older generation of the 20's and 30's. For those of you in the States, she was raised during the 'Happy Day's' years as the old TV show portrayed.  But more recently she is seems to have changed. She's more outspoken. She is definitely the cog of the family about which she and her husband function. She plans. She decides. She asks for his input and will tell you flat out how much she loves Dad and how important he is to her. Yes, he drives her crazy at times but living together for 60 years will do that every now and then.  What is so different is that I never, ever heard Dad say "get off the phone," or "your Mother drives me crazy," or anything negative about her.  He loves her. He respects her. He knows she's intellectually smarter than he. Above all else, he loves her.  And that is how they are supposed to live.

I left for home after spending a few days with them. She called to let me know that I forgot something. As we conversed, mom commented on her and dad sleeping together while Katie and I visited. Mom had given us her room and she moved back in to sleep with Dad. The two of them snore and wake the other up so they decided some years ago to sleep separately.  Mom said to me, "it was sure nice to sleep with your dad; I love to cuddle with that man."  Her comment made me smile.  They are old and they can be crotchety but they indeed do love one another.  I just wonder if Mom now runs the show and in the back of my mind, I wonder if she would have enjoyed being the Mistress of the home had dad ever approached her and asked if she would accept his submission.  I will never know that answer but it sure makes me wonder how their life would have been different if he did, and she accepted.
I'm Hers

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Coincidental?

The other day Katie was texting a close friend about something. The woman worked at a Veterinary Clinic, although their conversation was not related to animals.  The texting went back and forth for several hours, each texting every hour or two around their work and other responsibilities.  I was completely unaware of their conversation as I was away at work.

That evening we were lying in bed. The lights were out and we were snuggling and talking before going to sleep.  Katie was stroking my cock and fondling me, something she enjoys doing, not so much to excite me but because she just enjoys the feel of my body.  She had been fondling my balls when she broke the momentary silence asking, “I wonder if dog balls have wrinkles?”
At that very instant her cell rang. It was a text from her friend, responding once more to a question Katie had asked hours earlier. Katie read the text aloud, saying but one word,  “Yes
We both burst out laughing. It makes me giggle now, a week after the coincidental text from her ‘vet-friend’. I guess dog balls do have wrinkles after all.

I'm Hers

Monday, June 3, 2013

Leaving for a bit

It's time to take a break. Actually it's my summer travel season and I will be out and about for the next few weeks.  During that time I will be mostly away from the web and deep in the wilderness living where the deer and the antelope play. It's a place I love to be and can't wait to drive where people aren't. I'll check the blog periordically as I have time and access and will respond to comments as I'm able.

I've written a few posts that I have scheduled to appear while gone and if I have the time I may write some while away, that is until the laptop battery dies.

I'll be back in July.

I'm Hers