Sunday, June 30, 2013

Home Repair Decisions

The other day Katie and I heard a loud ‘crack’ coming from the back of the house. After some exploring we found that the back deck was a few inches lower on one side. After some exploring under the deck we discovered carpenter ants had eaten away at the 2x10 floor joist under the bay window to which the deck was anchored. I did some temporary bracing to prevent it from collapsing any further with cinder block and some 2x4s and went in to talk to Katie.
Of course this event happened the day before the two of us were to leave for the wilderness together. We discussed possible solutions and I told Katie, I really didn’t know how to fix this one. She gathered names and phone numbers from a few carpenters her neighbor had used in the past and had me call each to set up a time for them to come and give us an estimate.
We left home as we had planned and ten days later, Katie flew home while I remained in the Northeast. I called one of the men she had asked the day I dropped her off at the airport to discuss the deck issue. I wouldn’t be back for another few weeks and he asked if I wanted to meet with him personally.
"No, that’s really not necessary,” I replied, “Katie makes all of the final decisions anyway and she wants this done right. She's going to write you the check when you are all done, not me. I don't write the checks.” I added. 
He laughed and told me that he understood as is wife most often did the same in his home. Together we chuckled, continued our conversation and I set up a time for him to come to the house when Katie would be home. He did and the two of them talked about repair options. She chose the option to have it done right, rather than patch the problem with a bandaid solution.
So the deck will be fixed. Hopefully it will be repaired properly and the cause of the problem, wet wood that invited the carpenter ants in the first place, will be resolved by installing flashing at the base of the siding. I love that Katie leans on me when we have issues such as this. I love too that she has the confidence to make a final decision after we talk about our options. Although the house is ours, I view it as hers. I do so because it keeps me focused on the primary goal of my life – serving her; obeying her; submitting to her. For me that mindset works.

I'm Hers

10 comments:

  1. This mindset is the only mindset that works for men like us.It is important in this type of relationship that we concede all final decisions. If we have the ability to make one final decision, then it weakens the dynamic of the whole relationship. Our household has a similar process, I do the legwork, she makes the final call.

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  2. Eric, I don't necessarily agree that if we make a decision every once in awhile that it underminds the D/s dynamic. However I do believe that if a sub makes decisions without the approval or desire of the Dominant woman then that can create a problem. But I think most men relish having their wives/woman decide on their behalf. It's the very essence of being a submissive. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. I agree and I may have been misunderstood in that comment. What I really meant, is that a sub can begin to get to comfortable in making the decisions when given the opportunity to often. With that said, I feel it is important to avoid doing so in the first place to prevent the possibility of potentially undermining the dynamic inadvertently by making decisions that should be made by the dominant in the first place.

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    2. I agree completely Eric. You and I are on the same page. Now if only we can get about 10,000 more guys on that same page, we'd live in a better world. :)

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  3. Isn't it wonderful how, given all the facts and information, our wives are such good decision makers. I tend to go for the cheap solution, which in many cases, would be the wrong decision. Same thing is happening now. We are shopping for a new mattress. I was immediately drawn to a previous years model which was cheaper. She is taking the time to do some thorough research and says she will let me know when she makes a decision. I love it.

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  4. IH,

    I like how you informed the carpenter that your wife will make the decision and that she will be the one writing the check. Well done! I love it when my wife becomes the focus of the customer-service attention when we are out shopping, dining, renting a car or any public activity. I am very proud of her skill and wisdom and thrilled when the staff realize that this kind and beautiful woman is the person they need to please. I do the leg work and defer to my Mistress and it is a joy to be part of. We get better results with her judgement!

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    1. HersubScott, I'm glad you posted your thoughts. Thanks for stopping by. Having me interact in this way with folks that sell their wares at the front door, talking to my co-workers about if I'll be able to join them for a social function after work, talking to waiters/waitresses when we dine out, are all examples of times when I defer to my wife. She is the decision maker unless she chooses to have me decide in her stead - which she sometimes does - but if so it's with with little things like, do you want to wait in the car or come into the bank with me :) Basically meaningless choices. She chooses everything - and I love that she does. Stop by again

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  5. Wishful4, Yes, they are indeed wise creatures. Me, I tend to be impulsive and spontaneous - not that Katie isn't that way at times, but she is much more guarded and thoughtful with respect to so many more purchases and decisions than I. The other day my check engine light went on. I stopped and had a diagnostic test done and found that it was an oxygen sensor gone bad. I didn't worry about it, even though I was a 1000 miles from home. As soon as I got home, Katie told me, "I want this thing fixed and want it fixed right". I just dropped it off at the shop minutes ago as I was told to do. I love watching her lead as I benefit from her wisdom all the time.

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  6. My wife and I had a situation with a warranty issue on some basement work we had done. She didn't want to deal with it so she told me to handle it. I thought of the the different options I had to solve the problem and reviewed them with my wife prior to calling them. She approved my decision and the problem was resolved. I always feel confident with my decisions after she approves them. R R....

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  7. RR, And not only that, but you followed proper protocol. I so wish more men could discover this way of life. It's not for everyone, and I am not certain every woman is ready for the responsibility but I would dare say that far more men and women would benefit from the decision to let her lead and him follow. Thanks for sharing your story.

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