One of the hallmarks of the Rika way was the understanding that a submissive should never expect. His role is to serve. His partners’ role is to expect. His role is to give for no other reason than the joy he experiences while serving his Mistress. To a large measure I have come around to that way of thinking. Mostly I have no regrets about my life as Katie’s submissive husband. There is hardly a day when I don’t thank Katie for being my Mistress wife. We were talking tonight and realized that it’s been about three years since we made that choice. I am a submissive man. I have no trouble saying that and do not feel insecure to admit that to others. A good friend and older woman in her 70’s asked me today while I was helping her around her home, “who does the cooking, you or Katie?” Without pause I told her that I do. I went on to tell her that Katie does not enjoy the kitchen and I offered to cook for the two of us. She asked no further questions and I knew that her curiosity was satisfied. Telling others who I am is getting quite easy. In fact, I enjoy doing so.
But I do have wants. I do have desires. The majority have been satisfied when Katie took me has her sub but there are always wants. At least a few. Mostly those desires have to do with Katie asserting her dominance more. Knowing what I do of her, I don’t think I’ll ever experience her taking joy in putting me over her lap to discipline. That is simply not who she is and I really have no idea if I would enjoy it either. But I do wish she had more desire when it came to reminding me that I am indeed her submissive husband. I mean, she did vow to remind me that I was her sub. She did promise to cultivate that submission. To me, cultivating means more than telling me “I’m hungry, make me a sandwich.” Cultivating is a process of reinforcing our differences. I’d love for her to call me from the other room, “Sub, I need this room vacuumed now.” Or, “you’re here to serve me, clean this cat vomit up while I go downstairs and check my email.” I love it when she uses that word “sub”. I love when she kisses me and tells me how much she loves her “submissive husband”. It’s that word. It is a powerful word. I think the word slave would hold an equal power but that is another one of those taboo terms for her.