Friday, July 12, 2013

Thoughts While Scrubbing the Floor


It happened to be that time of the year. Katie told me she wanted the tile floors cleaned. Ugh! We have a lot of tile and although one can scrub while standing and holding a mop, I knew the best way for me to get pressure on the tile meant me doing this job on my hands and knees.  So with bucket and brush and a pad to spare my knees some discomfort down I went - scrubbing, rinsing and towel drying. She wanted the floor clean and she didn’t want me leaving any streaks from leftover detergent.  I one-upped her and used plain water and a ton of towels to make sure it looked great when I was through, and indeed it did.

When a man is on his knees scrubbing with nothing to stimulate the mind except to watch one’s own sweat drip onto the floor and hear the abrasive sound of the brush loosening dirt and debris, he has time to think.  I began thinking about how little I had done. I thought of how much I had to do. I set goals of getting ‘this section’ clean or getting to ‘there’ before taking a break.  At one point I thought about why I was here in the first place.  Yes I was sweating and getting a good upper body workout because Katie told me she wanted this done and indeed she was right, the floor needed cleaning and someone had to do it.  The question then was ‘who?’  That job fell to be my default as her submissive husband. So it was only right that I was where I was at the time.

As Katie’s sub, my job is to do those things that she either can’t do or doesn’t want to do. It’s not that she doesn’t work. She does. I’ll come home from work and see that she’s been digging in the garden, or has cleaned the carpet or hauled boxes from one place to another, or reconciled a months’ worth of bills with her check book, etc.  But that’s not my point.  My point is that if I have the ability to do those things I should, period. I shouldn’t even hope that I’d walk in and find her down where I was laboring.  I think it would honestly hurt me if I did find her doing so. 

I believe that too many couples expect the other to do their part of the work, as if there is some unwritten rule that they should and will. Where is that rule written? Who came up with that rule? Where did the idea of a 50/50 relationship (expectation) come from anyway? I’ve never heard anyone make that promise when they married.  If you go back to the beginning of humankind it states that when Adam and Eve screwed up that Adam, not Eve, would have to sweat and toil as a result of their error (note, I said their error and not his error :).

One profound understanding I have learned since committing my love and service to Katie has been an attitude change to one of not expecting. By not expecting every chore she does, every thing she does around the home, every gift she gives me becomes that much more special.  But, by not expecting I do more. I don’t live under the guise that I should only do half of what needs doing.  I will admit that I went through a spell where I did pout because I had that ‘50/50’ expectation still harbored in my subconscious.  I think I’ve come out the other side now knowing she won’t be doing as much as me around the home. I don’t expect her to clean or labor unless she chooses to do so. Rather, she’s become quite comfortable in making sure that won’t happen.  Instead she leaves me reminders all the time that it’s my job to serve, not hers. Leaving dishes unwashed in the sink, tossing her clothes on the bed or on the counter by the shower, or leaving her shoes in the middle of the bedroom, telling me she just heard the cat vomit upstairs all serve to remind and reinforce the power differential that exists in our relationship. She is indeed my dominant. 

I do not hold a grudge because of it. Rather it’s what I want and expect of her. She deserves to not have to worry about such things.  Knowing that most everything is my job brings peace and order. It has taught me to be more efficient when I do work. I’m less likely to walk past messes and more prone to getting it taken care. I accept her orders and respond when told to do so. I want to clean and make things nice, if for nothing else, to hear her comment on how nice things look, or be surprised that I was able to fix something or get a need taken care of before she expected me to do so.

If more men were this way, how much more affectionate and loving do you think your wife would feel toward you?  If she knew that she could be free to tell you what was on her mind and knew that you would immediately take care of it, without resistance, don’t you think she’d appreciate and love you more?  I know Katie feels that way. She tells me at least once a week, “I feel so loved.”  And indeed she is.  Yet, I am not her slave.  I doubt I could function just serving her without having some type of reward in return.  While writing, she just reached over and affectionately squeezed the back of my neck and shoulders.  I need that. I need to know she cares.  I know I am a man that has a need to feel loved and wanted.  Yes, I am insecure in that way.  I thrive by knowing she loves me. She doesn’t need to do much but she does need to do something.  When I see her smile, bite her lower lip and look at me with devilish eyes, when she tells me to roll over cause she wants to scratch my back, when she tells me to put on some lube because she wants to make love, when she hugs me, when she comes to bed and I smell her perfume I know she purposely put it on to please me.  I feel her love lots and those feelings are more than enough to remind me just how lucky I am to be married to this gem of a woman.

I have developed a friendship via email with ‘Bob’.  Bob is a man that has submitted to his wife. He asked if he could wear a chastity device for the sole purpose of easing sexual tensions between him and her. He works hard at his fulltime job but also works hard to get those things his wife wants him to do during the evening or weekend.  Bob has never complained or aired words that have been negative toward his wife.  I can tell he loves her. I also know that she loves the gift of service he has given her. She now is his key holder and over the months that we’ve periodically corresponded I can tell that she’s become more comfortable denying him. Yet he’s never referred to her as his dominant wife and I would doubt very much so that she would see herself as that way.  Yet Bob has indeed submitted and his wife has indeed taken more control of him and their home.  Bob doesn’t live by a 50/50 rule.  He lives to love his wife. I hope you will consider the same.

I’m Hers

18 comments:

  1. i love your post .. could not agree more ... i consider us all to be lucky men that take on this type of behavior.. the rewards are sizable and joyous

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  2. Thanks for sharing similar thought Anonymous. It really helps me, and I hope you too, to know that there are other men like ourselves out there that live the lives we two share.

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  3. Hello I'm Hers,

    It's late at night and I came downstairs to wait up for our son to come home with the car. I am staying up so that my wife can sleep soundly. Your description of you scrubbing the floors has inspired me to get out to the kitchen and clean it nicely while I wait, instead of just sitting having a beer. Gotta get to work!

    Scott

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    1. HersubScott, I'm glad I can be such an inspiration to you. I'm not 'feeling it' myself so I think I'll just sit here and update this blog. But I"m glad to know that at least one of us is working :) Thanks for sharing!

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  4. I'm Hers,
    Thanks for this wonderful post. I too try to do as much as possible in our household. As much as my Wife allows me. I consider Her as the head of the household.
    Can you explain why our wives "deserve" our service and submission? I feel they do, but I can't explain it.
    appy

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    1. Appy, I'm glad you feel as I do. I guess that makes both you and I service submissives. Your question is a good one and one that I will give some thought to and write a future post on. Thanks for asking the question.

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  5. Amen on cleaning the floors. I didn't realize how much work there is scrubbing the floors till it became one of my chores after we started a FLR a couple years ago.It makes me appreciate her that much more and I will tell her that when I'm done cleaning the floors.There is nothing I love more than having my wife sleep in or watching her favorite tv show while I'm cleaning, doing the laundry or any other chore she wants me to do. Its been about two years and it only seems to get better. Always love your posts. RR...

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    1. Thanks RR, you know, I won't say that doing work is my favorite thing to do. It isn't. By nature I'd rather sit than stand. Be still than move, Relax rather than work. But that's not the life I've chosen and I've since learned that there is much I receive by giving - so much more that I ever thought - because she too has chosen to lead and let me serve ad follow. I sure hope you have found that to be true in your life as well. Have a great weekend with your wife. Treat her with the love she deserves from you!

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    1. And aren't you just as lucky, Mistress Erica?

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  7. IH,

    Lol, thought I was the only one that tried to erect in my cage while folding the laundry. I can readily identify with your feelings. While my spouse is largely a hands off mistress, I kinda gauge our D/s progress by her actions. I am proud when she leaves dirty dishes for me to clean up, doesn't pick up her dirty laundry from the bathroom floor (I think she suspects I smell the panties), immediately goes for her laptop in the morning and expects her morning coffee and breakfast to be brought to her on the sofa and leaves the bed to be made by me. These things tell me she expects me to do them and that tells me we are making progress. I am always hoping for baby steps forward.

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  8. Wishful4, I think there's lots of baby steps present in your relationship. Everyone, and every couple is different. I don't know about you but the temptation is to want what others have rather than being content with where you are and how the two of you are relating and progressing (meaning adding more duties for you to do) as you live this life of dominance and submission. I hope you enjoy all the little 'treats' that she leaves for you each day. Have a great weekend.

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    1. You are so right. We all want more and are guilty of the "grass always looks greener on the other side" syndrome. My spouse did tell me the other day that, if something happened to me, she could never be lucky enough to find someone like me again. That really made my day. I really don't have a lot of regrets, but one I do have is not realizing and acting on my desire to submit and serve my wife much earlier in my life. It actually took male chastity to bring these feelings out and make me think about them. My spouse has said I was always submissive in the bedroom, but wonder why we never had a deeper discussion about it elsewhere. Just life, I guess.

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  9. You know, I can't really explain, but there is something very romantic about the sight of a man down on his hands and knees scrubbing a floor or cleaning a toilet. In part, it is the idea that he is doing it for me... to please me... to show me his worth... to show me his desire to be my servant.

    A clean floor, a clean toilet,a clean house, a man at my beck and call.
    This is a part of what a good femdom marrige is all about. Yet, there is more. The sweet look on John's face when he has spent his Saturday working on my behalf. The feeling of pride when John responds to the snap of my fingers. The precious look on John's face when he is allowed to suck my toes.. worship my feet...or just serve coffee to a freind.

    Then there is the feeling of intimacy when John lays his head on my lap,
    kneels at my feet. The way John tells me what he is thinking, his joys and fears, his deisres, and troubles. In these intimate moments all of the troubles of the world go away.

    The sharing...the accpetance of his submission... and the joy of his love.
    The knowing that he belongs to me... body and soul... heart and mind he is there for my pleasure.

    Yes, the intimacy with your man, the inner satisfaction of being served, the love; are all part of the joy of being a mistress to your man. Yes, this is what I want for my daughter. This is what the young women of the world should strive for in their relationships, not fear. Most of the blogs on the internet do more to contribute to the fear; to the idea that male submission is kink instead of natural. I'm her is my hero.


    Kathy

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  10. Kathy, you are so sweet. Thanks for the words of wisdom and the kind remarks. Hope to hear from you again soon.

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  11. There is something to being naked on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor and then suddenly feeling a cane or a crop biting into your buttocks. S does not stand over me every time I clean. It would defeat the purpose of freeing Her to concentrate on other things. But occasionally She will emphasize Her authority with a few firm strokes. (S's slave)

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  12. S, you have this way of letting me know what real submission/obedience means with the words you write. I do enjoy your comments - every one of them. Hope you don't have to clean the floor too often. Best do it while she's at work or off with a friend :)

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  13. I agree with pretty much everything you said 100%

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