Friday, August 16, 2013

Sex and Affection

I have been thinking about this topic to write on for quite some time. Tonight I had some time to sit and put some thoughts down and just as I was about to do so, Katie took the computer from my lap telling me,

“I have an urge”.

“What?” I asked.

“I have the urge,” she repeated as she walked in front of me and straddled my legs with hers, sitting on my lap facing me. She kissed me as I embraced her and ran my hands over her beautiful body.  Actually she made out with me, but who's counting :)  She looked me in the eye and told me how much she loved me and I told her I loved her.  It took but a moment but little things like that will stick with me for many days.  I love when she has ‘urges’, especially those kind!

So the topic I wanted to write on had to do with affection and sex.  Men, let’s not kid ourselves. We are visually driven, sexually minded creatures. I don’t know about you but I love kissing, hugging, touching, holding, caressing, and being intimate with Katie and I love it even more when she is that same way with me.
Last night we were laying in bed watching TV when I asked her, “what is it about our WLM that you think makes it work?”  I wanted to know what she thought. Her initial thought was all the ‘stuff’ that I do for her.

I repeated my question as I thought she misunderstood. “Why do you think that I want to so all that stuff for you and enjoy doing it so much?”

She wasn’t so sure about it, but I knew why and so we talked.  Yes, it has to do with our communication. Yes it has to do with our similar interests. Yes it has to do with our love languages both being touch. But I think that it has a whole lot to do with Katie being affectionate and passionate with me.

Although I am kept chaste most times it doesn’t mean that we aren’t affectionate. We touch often. We hold hands. I sometimes walk with my arm around her. I open doors for her and put my hand in the small of her back as I guide her in front of me. I kiss her lots. I brush and blow-dry her hair every morning. I massage her most every night. I smell ‘her’ when I kiss her on the neck and the fragrance of her cologne reaches me.  We make love often – I just am not permitted the orgasm that she experiences. 

All of that intimacy stimulates me. It attracts me. It lures me. It draws me to her makes me proud to be her husband. I could not care less that others see me being a gentleman when at the big box hardware store, or out shopping where I push the cart. I don’t care that Katie pays for everything when we purchase something. It’s now normal to get on the phone and talk to a salesperson and tell them “hi, I’m Katie’s husband, she asked me to contact you to follow up on…..”  I don’t mind breaking the norm. I don’t mind others knowing that she’s in charge. I don’t mind working hard for her and doing whatever she asks me to do (yes, she asks more than she tells me – still).

Why? Because I know that my efforts please her. I know that she’s proud of me. I know that she adores me. I feel loved and she expresses her appreciation and pleasure in ways that excite and stimulate me sexually. So when she spontaneously climbs on me and makes out with me for a minute, or tells me to lube up because she wants to make love, or when she tells me to roll over so she can cuddle up behind me and wrap her arm around me, they all reinforce my desire to serve.  I love sex. Make no doubt about it. I just love it. But I think I love all the playful affection and attention just as much if not more.  They kind of all work together to keep me, her husband, proud and pleased with her.

But it has to work both ways. Katie needs to know that I appreciate her. I want her to know how attracted I am to her. All of that ‘adoring touch’ I mentioned I do throughout the day lets her know that I’m thinking of her. But I like to verbalize my feelings as well so I tell her. I must tell her' I love you' several times a day. I’ll tell her how nice she looks, or how pretty her hair looks, or how sweet she smells, or how sexy her butt is, etc. I want her to know.

Earlier today I went to the hardware store to pick up a small item I needed to finish a project around the house and for whatever reason my mind went to thinking about her breasts. I love her breasts. So I texted her.

“You have the most beautiful breasts. I was mellowing in the thought of just how much I love them”.

Katie responded, “And they are only for you to enjoy.”

“Well then, I think I’ll take two for dinner tonight :),” I replied playfully.


I’ll send her texts like that often – when I’m at work and she’s at home, when I’m upstairs and she’s down or when she’s out and I am home.

The constant touch, talk, text, and affection are all ways that we communicate of our love and desire for one another. Sex really does start in the kitchen, as some say and one might add that it begins with all of the small ways that a partner expresses his love for his spouse.  It’s that physical expression of her love for me and my love for her that feeds our WLM. I love serving a woman I am so proud of and I think Katie loves knowing she has a man that she controls that adores her so much.

Next time I’ll share a bit more about what makes us so close as a couple. It’s not rocket science and I’m glad it’s not cause I’m just not that smart of a guy.

I’m Hers

PS. We made love again last night - she was on top. I love it when she's on top. The sex was fantastic. She loved it and that was what made it so incredible (although she made me feel wonderful as well). She left me hard and horny and incredibly responsive to her body and wanting to be near her. Katie knows how to manipulate me. She knows how to keep my mind close to her. Like I said, sex is so important to a relationship. Wouldn't you agree?


  1. You took these words out of my brain and wrote them down! Sounds like you folks have a great relationship.

    1. Glad you can identify Dan. There is nothing better than sex with a dominant woman. And when I mean sex, I mean sex, intimacy, sharing, giving, pleasing...... all that is a part of that special time. I know you know what I"m talking about after reading your last post. Mmmmmm

  2. Yes I agree, this post was spot on

    1. Thank you Eric. Don't share too deeply, you're blowing me away with those thoughts of yours :) (I couldn't resist LOL)

  3. Yes, I totally agree. I think it's been one of the most difficult parts of an FLM for my wife to understand- that my submissive desires are driven by my sexuality and my desire for her. That not only can she manipulate me with sex, I crave that she do so. That I need my sexual buttons pushed, and that doesn't mean I need 30 minutes and a wrecked bed. I need 30 seconds and a raging hardon, and it's quite alright if she leaves me that way. But thankfully, she is beginning to understand.

    1. Antwerp, the question must be asked..... can a FLM exist without sex as a key part of it? I'm sure the answer is yes, as I know if at least one that does, but I would have to make a major adjustment should that time come. I'm glad your wife is getting it. It may take a while but I'm sure she will eventually see how it benefits her to has a husband horny when out of bed as well as when in.

  4. Thanks for sharing. What a beautiful post. My wife and I are closer than ever we hold hands every place we go. Are marriage is stress free . As for sex she loves the fact its up to her as to when where and how and so do I. R R...

    1. RR, your marriage is wonderful. I can tell by the way you write, every time you write. I am so glad that living under the leadership of your wife has helped you so much. I'm sure its a combination of you letting go as much as it is her taking control. blessings to you both!
      I'm so happy for you two.

    2. Thank you we do both feel very blessed. But I have to say that you and Katie have a special relationship that will last a lifetime. You both are lucky to have found each other. And to have a FLR is the foundation that will make it last.RR

  5. Wow! What a night. You are right, there is nothing better than sex with a dominant woman. What pushes my hot buttons more than anything is when she insists this is about her pleasure and it comes first. I love the direction, the pushiness, when she grabs my hair for a deep kiss or to direct my head down between her legs.
    Even during the day when we kiss or she playfully rubs up against me knowing I can't do anything about it. She loves the fact that she is in control and can leave me feeling so frustrated and horny.

    1. Wishful 4, Ahh, the feel of a strong hand grabbing my hair to pull me into her or push me somewhere else indeed sexy. Maybe it's just feeling her strength that feels so good. I even like it when she pushes me away in the middle of the night because she wants me to roll away so she can cuddle up behind me. I love being told what to do. Now that's sexy!