Thursday, September 12, 2013

Thoughts on More Restrictive Chastity

If you have been reading the past few blogs you know that I abused my freedom one night by masturbating behind Katie's back, confessed my wrong and have been locked down in chastity pretty much 24/7 since that incident a few weeks ago.  I kind of knew what the consequence was going to be and on one hand am glad that she felt comfortable enough to discipline me but saddened that life changed in some respects.  What pleased me was the fact that Katie did something that she knew I wouldn't like and therefore expressed her dominance by 'going there' with respect to instituting the lock down mandate.  I liked that she didn't just say 'oh well, I wish you hadn't done that' and moved on with life.  She can be so gentle at times with her control that it's hard to know if she is in control.  I tease her sometimes when she goes easy on me asking if she wants me to get her Mennonite head covering or not. 
Well, the lock down has been an adjustment to say the least.  Sleep the first few nights was disrupted several times by me being woken by the uncomfortableness of a night erection but that seems to have resolved itself somewhat.  They have lessened from occurring a few times each night to maybe once and I can deal with a once pretty well.  But what has changed has been the amount of nightly and morning fondling by Katie.  Katie loves touch and loves to touch. Since being locked, one part of me has been left 'touchless'.  Personally I miss that and I really don't know if Katie misses that or not.  Last night we were lying in bed and she took several minutes to run her hand over by body from upper thigh to neck.  After doing so for some time she told me how much she loves touching my body.  Some of those touches were to the Jailbird but mostly it was to the rest of my body and not so much dwelling on what she has caged. 
 Time will tell if she keeps me locked except when she wants to be pleasured; if she will take me out to touch and then relock without ever entering her; or if she will want to free me completely.  I doubt that she will do the latter but I may be wrong. 
 I've done a bit of research for a future post on the effects of sexual stimulation without release on the brain and it sure seems to be the way for a woman to keep her man wanting her.  I'm not saying that physical touch of the male genital is the only way that that can happen but it sure seems to be one of the most effective.  What I've noticed with me psychologically is a resignation that my body is there for her to enjoy, or that my new limits now are confined to caressing, holding and/or stimulating and exciting her but very little about wondering if  'maybe tonight she will want me'.  When you are locked, you are indeed 'put away'. When you are locked you realize that sex is so little about you and so much more about her wants – both physically and psychologically.  A man's penis is in-effect, put on the shelf without him knowing if or when she will next want to take it off the shelf and use it.  It's quite the different mindset to adjust to.
 That feeling of complete helplessness in this one aspect of my life indeed builds dependence. It is a reminder of who is in charge and it sure reduces a man’s ability for experience pleasure regardless of whether that pleasure is coming from a wife’s touch or while making love.  I remember a Domme I communicated with several years ago, when I was first learning what submission meant. She repeatedly told me that to be a sub means to serve - period. She kept telling me that if I decide to submit to Katie, then I should expect nothing but understand that my duty in life becomes one in which my life primarily focuses on pleasing her while her expectation is to understand that she is the primary benefactor of the gifts I have to offer.  Does chastity (most of the time) do that? I believe that it does. Does complete chastity - meaning - a 24/7 lock down for days and weeks at a time do it more?  I think it does, and that is an emotional and psychological adjustment I have not fully adjusted to.
 As I write and think, I am remembering part of Katie’s marriage vow to me – that she promised to cultivate my submission.  Cultivate means to nurture, foster, form and refine. It goes to the essence of molding me into the kind of submissive man that she desires of her husband. Teaching me to submit is easy for one to say but it’s much more difficult to do.  Like a child that wants something but is forced to do another, such is the case with me with respect to putting my desires aside and abiding by Katie’s.  If remaining locked builds dependence; if being locked teaches me to deny myself and follow her more completely; if complete chastity protects me from my own temptations and moves me further along the path to unquestioning obedience to Katie then  that is what I desire.
I'm Hers


  1. One of the thoughts that occured to me is how these simple little chastity devices may change society.

    When John and I began our experiment in femdom living ten years ago these devices were practically unknown. Even Tara, who lived with a type of slave husband had never talked about locking her man's private parts.

    In today's world it more or less seems that chastity devices have become a common reality for many couples. I know of one woman at least, whose husband had an affair, requires him to be locked as a condition of staying in the marriage. The husband had confessed to her that he couldn't keep his hands off other women.
    The answer for them was a chatity appliance with the wife holding the key.

    A friend of my daughter is geting married for the second time. The first marraige ended in divource when the husband lost interest. How common is this. When my daughter asked for a recommendation for a weding gift,
    I suggessted a chastiy appliance of some type.

    My daughter's response to my suggestion was 'sure mom that would go over big' Well, I told her that on one level a young couple could have fun playing with it. On another level a chastity appliance could help cement the bonds of theier marriage. If her freind had locked her first husband he may not have lost interest in her. A man who is locked, I told her, never louses interest in his keyholder. Your wife, I'm Hers, is correct in keeping you locked. It is for your own good as well as the health of your marriage. As I recall you have a daughter from a previous marriage. If that is correct I hope she is somehow made aware of the fact that you wear a chastity device as well as the reasons for it. The wearing of a chasttiy device should be looked upon as a badge of honor, not shame. It shows the same sense of commitment as the wearing of a weding ring.

    Many men, I told my daughter need some type of outside control to remain faithful. In the past pressure from society kept many men in check. Men didn't want to be seen as unfaithful husbands. Today, that that type of pressure no longer exist. With women and men traveling together, having contact away from the home, there is too much temptation. And many men, more than anyone would think, want to know that their wife is in control.

    As more women exercise control over a husband's ability to relesase, they will exercise control over other areas of a man's life. Men who are locked are more interested in pleasing their wives then men who are free. Men who are locked are more ready to take directions from a wife. These men are more obdeient. They are more obsevant of family needs, and are generally better husbands and fathers.

    If you will, for a minute, imangine a society where a large percentage of married men are kept locked by their wives. How different would it be from the world we presently live in.

    Love, Kathy

    1. Kathy, your posts requires a bit of thought to answer, but to answer your final thought, I think the world would be a better place if men generally walked with a lock hidden beneath their trousers. I thinIk too there would be many more women that would become quite adept at picking locks as well :)

      I will write more on your thoughts at a later time. Thanks for stopping by and sharing.

    2. I'm Hers,

      Not sure I agree with alot of what Kathy says, however, I can completely agree with your statement about "the world would be a better place if men generally walked with a lock hidden beneath their trousers."


    3. LH, feel free to expound upon the statement of what you don't agree with. Differing opinions and thoughts always makes for a nice discussion.

  2. It is interesting to see the new things you are learning because of your mistake, and who knows, she may even grow to enjoy having you locked away more than she did before too, so you never know how long this could go on and you simply have no choice in the matter. Don't you just love how vulnerable that makes you? This could become a permanent thing, or could be something she relaxes again in time and you have no say at all.

    1. MM, I kind of think you took a kind of delicious bit of satisfaction in stating what I know - In fact I think you enjoyed laying it out for me to read that I have my self in pretty much a predicament with respect to whether life will ever return to the way it was a month ago :) But you are correct. It is a vulnerable place to be - I guess its more of a dependent place to be and one that I really don't know if she will change or not. For now, it's pretty much a full lockdown except on the occasions when she wants some action.

    2. Oh yes I did most certainly enjoy it. How could I not? You got yourself into quite the predicament here and I can't wait to see how it all plays out in time ;).

  3. IH,
    I think you are surprised at the difference wearing a device 24/7 makes versus wearing only during the day. Wearing the device 24/7 has a profound effect on your thinking and your actions. To date, I have been unable to open my spouse's eyes to this. But I am glad Mrs Katie is seeing it first hand. I think this has been a learning experience for you too. Just something as simple as not being able to touch it at all makes a huge difference. As the overused phrase goes, be careful what you wish for. Take care

    1. Wishful4, I don't know if I would call it a huge difference but rather a significant one. What I do have is a pattern of Katie's sexual desire to reference from so I know I won't be locked for weeks at a time. I fully expect to be locked no more than a week and most likely much less frequently than that, as long as she remains healthy and has energy at the end of her day. But it is a change and one that did catch me a bit by surprise. I hope that your sweet wife comes to see how profound that change is and how she can use it to her advantage. Good to hear from you.