Friday, September 27, 2013
Why Men Should Serve Women
I made a promise to Appy when I responded to a comment he made asking if I would write more about why men should serve women. I think that question was raised a few months ago, but I have not forgotten. So today while Katie is busy, I started writing down thoughts and came up why I believe it is good for a man to serve a woman.
We live in a culture dominated by men, although there is much change recently, at least in the US and other modern cultures but many women are assuming leadership roles. Increasing numbers aare bcoming independent financially. Stay-at-home moms are leading the family by virtue of the decisions they make and financial control they have over the family budget. The sale of chastity devices have skyrocketed and now can even be found on Amazon.com. Women’s conferences promoting networking, career development and advancement are commonplace. Yet something usually happens when a woman marries – she submits – or she at least tends to admit that she is not the one in charge, albiet she most likely does make the majority of the decisions. But is that how it should be? Let’s look at what happens prior to the exchanging of the rings.
I’m not ignoring the fact that women are attracted to men, but there is a cultural expectation (and most likely it is rooted in male physiology) for men to pursue women. We want them. We admire them. We desire them. We lust for them. We are fascinated by their bodies, the smell of their perfume, the delicate features of their body, the softness of their breast, and power they hold over us as potential suitors. Yes, in most every culture, it is the male that seeks the woman and by virtue of doing so, he, not she, submits. He tries to please. He seeks her affection. He tries to capture her attention, and hopefully her approval. But once the girl accepts him as his, changes occur. He stops working so hard to please and often time she assumes the more submissive role that perpetuates itself once married.
But in a FLR the relational dynamic is different. In that life the man continues to seek, please and desire to be approved by her. It’s as if the dating relationship is extended indefinitely as the male is kept dependent and seeks to maintain his approval of her – or else. One commenter on another blog recently mentioned that it is us (meaning submissive men) that have discovered the value of a FLR and should be the ones laughing because we have found what so many seek – real intimacy. That statement is so true and yet haven’t all couples experienced this? I mean, early on in a relationship isn’t it really a FLR one? Don’t boys serve, at last for some period of time to the girl they desire? Don’t they make an effort to please and make her their #1 priority in life? I believe they do. I know I did. I think all males at some point in life has experienced this joy of submission.
Unfortunately too few girls have kept them that way and have allowed men to reverse those roles, forcing the woman to give rather than receive the gifts a male is so geared to provide – his service as well as his love. Maybe that is why there is such a high divorce rate. Maybe the failure of men to remain submissive provides them an opportunity to look elsewhere where they start the process of courting all over again. Maybe the real issue is that a man is only truly happy when he is courting, which is just another way of saying, maybe he is only truly happy when he has submitted to a woman.
So why are women deserving of our service and worship? I believe it is because a woman completes a man. She is his primary source of pleasure and security. Even God declared back in Genesis that ‘it is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a woman….” Man needed a woman and indeed he provided not a creature that would submit to him, but rather one that would rescue and lead him. Implied in the Genesis account is man’s need for both female companionship, but also a need for the security that only a woman can provide. Go to a wedding. Go to a dance. Who is it that steps out on the dance floor more often than not? It’s the ladies. Go to a place where shopping occurs. Who is it that is usually leading the way and making the decisions? Women are and they are the ones that are more secure and mature sooner. We men need women. We really do. We are hopelessly lost without loving female companionship and female acceptance. It is one of our deepest needs. Men need women. Men need strong women. We need to feel their love. We desire their acceptance and approval. We live for them to open themselves up and become intimate with us. We will do anything to become united sexually. There is truth to the statement of the little girl in panties that pulls them forward allowing the little boy to peer inside when she states, “with this I am going to rule your life”. Men cannot help but to submit to a woman if it means sexual fulfillment.Mybe that is why the pornography industry is a multibillion dollar business and the reason that young men think about sex 19 times more oftenthan women do. Not only do men think about sex lots, but about food, sleep and other ‘needs’. When you step back, we are pretty base creatures. We seek pleasure. We desire comfort. We want security, and associate the fulfillment of our sexual need to copulate as well as our physical needs of food and shelter as meeting those needs of security.
When a man views porn, he does so because he seeks pleasure, but I believe he is also seeking intimacy, in error. The act of viewing a woman’s body is one in which he is desiring at some level a means to be loved and close to another – even if it is just a picture on a page or computer screen. Unfortunately that act, although temporarily thrilling, leaves him feeling empty. There is no real relationship, contact, or love. But to be with a real woman that accepts him and allows him to worship her can complete a man’s psyche in ways nothing else can. I recently left a post comment on Miss Marie’s blog that stated: “To be owned is to be loved. It is a beautiful feeling for both a man and a woman to feel - especially together. To the outside world it seems so odd to consider, but once you've been owned and loved by a women, there is nothing that brings more satisfaction to a man's heart than to feel that possession.”
So why is it that a man should worship a woman? I believe it has to do with man’s undeniable need to be one with a woman. Oneness can be sexually, but it can also be by close physical touch as in holding hands, cuddling, massaging, and caressing. It can be oneness emotionally through communication, it can also be by feeling her leadership as when she instructs, tells and teaches a man how he can best please and serve. Oneness can also be cultivated physiologically when a woman allows a man to become aroused by her scent – the smell of her perfume, the sight of her body, an approving nod, her discipline, as well as when she opens herself for him to please her sexually. Oneness can be experienced in lots of ways and when it is done so in a giving, genuinely giving serving attitude the bond a man experiences is incredibly powerful.
Those that have never experienced this bond because they’ve never submitted and committed themselves to truly worshipping a woman may think all this sounds quite odd, even deviant, yet there is a reason that thousands upon thousands of men have committed their life to serving a woman. It is not good for man to be alone. Man needs female companionship and leadership. He needs her closeness. He needs her approval. He needs to feel her love. He needs to serve. He needs to even obey, because in doing so, he receives the benefit of her openness, acceptance, and love, all of which meet needs in ways that nothing else can.