While driving home from work the other evening I was flipping through stations on the radio. I happened to hear the final minute or two of a sermon entitled ‘temptations men face’. Now ladies, vanilla ladies, ladies that are currently married or dating men who want to live lives as your parents lived, I hope you will read on. You see, the saying that history often repeats itself is so true. When it comes to people, we often mimic those character traits of the hundreds of generations that have preceded us. In the case of male behavior, I am certain that you, as a woman, are either currently married to, or in the case of those not yet married, will someday marry the typical man. Oh, I’m sure that he will be different than everyone else. Ha, haven’t we all heard that before. Yet there is a reason why one in two marriages fail. They fail because people don’t live up to the standards and expectations of their spouse assumed they would. Or they fail because people change - both male and female.
- Give others things instead of giving ourselves
- Save our best for the workplace
- Deliver lectures rather than earning respect by listening and learning
- Demand perfection of our loved ones
- Become involved intimately with any woman who is not your wife
- Underestimate the importance of cultivating your family’s spiritual appetite
Wouldn’t you agree that when he comes home from work that he’s pretty much wasted and prefers to relax and do little or nothing rather than be an active part of your life, and your family’s life? Is he more or less likely to ask you how you've been, get up and find the kids and see how their day at school or time with their friends were and really listen and interact with each person at home? Do you find him to be active and engaging when conversing over dinner or is he more quiet and withdrawn and distant, thinking about things that have nothing to do with what is being discussed? I can distinctly remember my kids asking me, "Dad? Dad? Dad?," As they were talking to me. They knew that although I was looking at them, my mind was elsewhere. Sadly, what was on my mind was more important to me than what my children wanted to tell me. And being one that did that often, they came to me less because they knew I didn’t listen well.
I can remember having discussions with my former wife and asking her, “just tell me what you want” or “I need you to teach me how to love you”. Has your husband expressed those kinds of feelings before as well? Well, maybe you need to do just that and do so by sitting down and talking to him. Tell him you want more out of your marriage. Tell him you aren’t pleased with how things are. Tell him how much you love him but inform him that you need to change things for the benefit of your marriage and for him. Tell him that you want to try something for several months and get him to agree to submit to you.
Think about it ladies, and if you want more out of your marriage, read past posts for ideas. Talk to other women about your idea; make a plan; and stick to it. And if you want help or encouragement, drop me an email. I will be more than happy to help and encourage you in any way I can. Or better yet, write and talk with other women. Femdom 101 is a great place to start if you want a woman's perspective. I wish you well.