And after giving that statement thought I'm not sure I have an answer. I can only speak for me. I don’t know anything about you if you are a man, or about your submissive if you are a woman. What I do know is that one's development is multifaceted and it has nothing to do with intelligence. I have a family member that has Asbergers Syndrome. He’s brilliant and received a full scholarship at age 16 to a major university in the US. He could do all the academic work but he couldn’t handle the social aspect of college life, decided not to attend class and promptly flunked out. That was some time ago. Since then he’s gotten back on his feet and successfully attending a smaller school more suited for him – developmentally.
The question posed has more to do with emotional rather than educational or intellectual or physical development. I have stated on numerous occasions that I shy away from conflict. That impacts my decision making, especially when that decision affects others. I don’t relish the conflict. I don’t like the internal tension and so I prefer that Katie just speaks her mind so we can move on. I find an immense amount of security in her leadership. Yet at work my role is to be ‘Katie’, to take charge and tell others what it is they are or are not to do. It doesn’t bother me in the least. Maybe that is because I don’t feel personally invested in them the way I do with Katie. I know I don’t find disappointing them but despise ever doing anything that would hurt or make Katie feel less of me.
To submit is synonymous with being a follower – mostly. A submissive obeys rather than gives orders. A submissive lives to please rather than commands others to do things they may or may not want to do. A submissive lives a life mostly pretty much devoid of power, choice, options, freedoms. So to be ‘that’ person, does that also imply that there are developmental deficiencies in that person as well? Do men find security and contentment in being led because they can’t effectively lead (a marriage) or because the feel some deep need to be led by a woman?
Life is a continuum of developing. We gain physical abilities, learn to think on deeper levels, become less impulsive, more wise, more thoughtful, understand the value of speaking less and listening more, etc. One might argue that because I am older than you I am likely further ‘developed’. One might argue that because you are older than me, I am less mature than you. That doesn’t mean that you or I can’t function within the norms society dictates. That doesn’t mean we both can't be successful at work or at home or enjoy healthy relationships. I mean a 17 year old high school kid can get by fairly well, but then again, can you remember how 'under developed you were at that age? We are all growing. I just wonder if maybe this guy might be onto somethings. The fact that we can function normally doesn’t preclude us submissive men from feeling, (needing might be the better word choice here) the security and control and leadership of our wives because we function best when following those we love most rather than taking them by the hand and pulling them were we want them to go.