Friday, January 10, 2014

Is That Normal?



Yesterday morning I came into the room and found Katie. She looked up at me from her seat and said simply, “I’ll take my breakfast now.” She smiled politely and I left for the kitchen to get the two of us some food to eat.

Later that day I wrote an email to an old friend, her name was Jill and she loves the New England Patriots. Tom Brady specifically. I decided to call her Jillzele in my email as Tom’s wife is the supermodel Gizele Something or Other.  I commented to Katie that I’m hopeless, having got my ‘teasing gene’ from my father.  She responded by saying, “at least got his submissive gene as well.”

A few days previous, Katie made a remark indicating how much she likes keeping me locked.  When she makes remarks like these, it’s never done to humiliate me but rather simply statements of fact.

I thought about those remarks and about the surrounding feelings she often causes to surface when she makes those comments.  The realization of a phrase came to mind: I am not a normal man.

I mean, how many men take time out of their day a few times each week just to write a blog and publicly share their thoughts and experiences of their marriage knowing it was probably far different in some respects than any other marriage on their neighboorhood?

How many men sit, out of necessity when they use the toilet – because their wife keeps them locked in a plastic or steel cage? Mine happens to be made of steel.

How many men are permitted to make love to their wife but not to enjoy the same ecstasy that she experiences? And in that vein, how many men submit to their wife, only making love when she wishes and furthermore, lets her be in charge of not only when, but in what position, for how long and with a mindset of pleasing rather than receiving pleasure?

How many men said the word ‘obey’ when they married and meant it?

How many men have no claim to the income they earn, but entrust it to their wife to manage?

How many men vacuum, meal prep and clean up, wash, etc. without being told to do so because they know that she expects her spouse to do it for her?

How many men enjoy corresponding with other submissive men via email because it serves as a support to the life they live?

How many men advocate obedience, respect and submission to other women and do so by telling other young men to treat the female gender as one to be treasured and looked up upon?

How many men are proud to be known as a submissive man?

How many men hope that they can influence other men to submit and even more, encourage other women to take control of their man and marriage as a way to greater intimacy, marital harmony and order?

I am not normal. Are you? Is your husband?

I’m Hers

27 comments:

  1. You are normal in the world that you belong to. Not the outside world. Screw the outside world. Have you seen it? Seriously?

    Isn't the world that Mistress Katie and you created so much more peaceful? So much more full of love?
    Men like you. Men like mine. You NEED to be examples of this. YOU NEED to show the world how women truly need to be loved and taken care of.
    I have a LOT more respect for men like you and my husband, then I do for President Obama. A man that calls for peace but rips things apart by the seams. You are repairing those seams.
    Keep working Sir.
    You have my respect.
    Mistress WillowFae

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  2. Thank you Willow Fae, and you have my respect as well for having the courage to assume the leadership of your home and your children. Thanks for sharing

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  3. Well, on my blog I have called him the new age male, or it might simply be called the new normal.
    For quite a few years my blog has advocated loving female authority as a basis for committed relationships. In certain ways, for certain people, for most people, my beliefs are well over the top. Yet, other people are awakening to the concept of the surrendered husband whose focus of everyday living is on service to a wife who holds absolute authority in the relationship.

    I have seen first hand the stress placed on a marriage when a wife fails to accept the idea that a husband needs her authority on an everyday basis. It makes everyone miserable. On the other extreme I have seen the joy in homes in which a wife has assumed the role of ruler, boss lady, or simply mistress. For many men the need to obey women is a very real part of who they are.

    And yes, I have a high level of respect for the men who have found the courage to submit. Even more so is the respect for the women, like Katie, who have found the courage to rule. As more women learn to accept their natural role as leaders, femdom will be accepted as a natural, normal way of life. Instead of being abnormal, I look upon femdom as being slightly ahead of its time.

    In the next generation I suspect it will be very normal for men to openly take a vow of obedience in church in front of family and friends. And yes, it will be quite normal for a new bride to admit without shame that her guy obediently does what he is told. From what I have observed, the men are ready now. It is the women who are holding femdom back.


    Love, Kathy

    Kathy

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    1. Mistress Kathy, I have four boys here at home. As I watch them grow, I can visually see the guidance each one will need as a man. Some are more ready to submit than others. But it utterly amazes me with what I see. They truly do need a ruling hand over them. Even more-so the roudiest of the bunch. I do indeed hope to see their submission to their wives on the day of each of their marriages.
      The new male.
      Yes and I agree that we are a step ahead.
      WillowFae

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    2. Kathy and Willow Fae,
      You have no idea how much I appreciate the two of you dialoging. The back and forth sharing of ideas by WOMEN on these kinds of blogs is so needed. I hope that more women will step up and share - one not need to agree but sharing thoughts, make people think. Women sharing in particular can have the added effect of holding more credibility when other women read and then consider both what they've read and how that information might pertain to their own life.

      Thank you Ladies for sharing!

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  4. I am not sure that all men, or even most men need a mistress wife in the life. What I am convinced of, however, is that the number of adult men who have the need for female authority is far more than anyone would guess. It is one thing to say a teenage boy needs female authority. Of course, most teenage boys need a mother. What I am talking about in the blog is mature men. Men who have raised families, who have served in the military, and understand what life is all about. These men do not need a mother, but yes, many of them certainly do need a mistress. It takes a great deal of maturity to truly serve a mistress wife. In truth, I am not sure that most twenty plus year olds are ready. If anything, I believe one of the problems associated with femdom relationships is that men are not sufficiently mature to handle them. In real like it is my belief that the fifty and sixty year old men make the best submissive husbands. Kathy

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  5. I don't know if I was ready then but I had never even heard of a submissive husband when I was 20 something. Now that I am 55 and have learned about female authority I only wish that I had not wasted all those years.

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    1. Amen! I feel exactly as you do Mr. Bill. But as Kathy pointed out, I know it took me until I was at least into my 30's before I had any sense of understanding as to what maturity entailed. Men do mature more slowly than women (that is a generalization of course).

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  6. Young men needs models but society does'nt give them these models. So they must learn by themselves. That's why they need time.

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    1. And I am surfe that much of the models they learn from, should they stumble and search the web, is that of the kinky submissive and leather bearing domme.

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  7. My husband first came to me in his 20's, but I don't know if he was really aware of what serving entailed then. He sure does now. I think then it was more for fun, not to serve. At least that is what I think. Only he could truly answer that. But yes, now that he is nearing 50, he understands.
    You all have such wonderful input!

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  8. I was reading this post and was thinking what a great topic. Then I go home and my wife is reading Readers Digest and on the front cover it has an article that says " Are You Normal or Nuts".. it is a good read and talks about how we are how we all think different from others sometimes .What works for one relationship might not work for another. People change I'm not the same guy I was when I was thirty and really don't want to be that guy. FLR is different from the norm some people might think but I could not ever go back to the traditional type relationship ever. I really appreciate the woman who post on here it reinforces how I feel about my FLR and my wife and I are happier than ever.Thanks. RR

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    1. RR, I don't know about you but I'm different. You're differnt. But how many other do you know (or think) are also different like us? I don't think many. But then again, don't you wonder when you are at a ball game, at a crowded store shopping, at a street fair or other congested area if there might be one, two, three, more, like you and I 'here' that are also locked, or led by a woman? I'm certain there are 10, 20, 30 or more that are submissive even if they haven't realized it in themselves. Those men are out there. Great thought!

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  9. After I asked my Wife to marry me for Xmas I gave her a CB-2000 male chastity device thinking it was just a gag gift. I found out they really do work and over the next four years she gradually began making, no requiring me to wear it more and more.
    The past seven years she's made wear it all the time and I doubt that will ever change. She see's the benefits of keeping me locked full time and refuses to give them up. One day the philandering husband will be replaced with the obedient, caring, loving, doting, and obeying husband and it will only be the Wives that have extramarital affairs because they realize that keeping their husband's desire intact is what's best.
    My Wife now only allows me out for a release once a month at the most.

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    1. Anonymous, May I make up a name for you and call you XYZ? That way I can keep track of you and do hope you stop by to post again. 11 years in a WLM - like that thought. I also like what you what your wife did with you in locking you. I wonder if maybe just a teeny part of you wanted her to take you up on your gag gift way back when.

      Like you I hope as well that philandering husbands will be replaced by obedient husbands but I'd hate for women to abuse that privilige by going off and finding other men to fool around with. It sounds fun and kinky but its not my cup of tea. It would break my heart, and probably our marriage, if Katie made that choice. Please stop by again.

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  10. Maybe not normal but happy and 'normal' is merely however the average person at that point of time in that society thinks and acts. In reality there is no such thing as normal but there is normative behaviour. It itself is a spectrum on which people cluster - thus creating the norm. But the cluster is not static and will and does shift over time.

    i believe you, many of your readers and myself (to an extent) are change agents/ the revolutionaries - we are where the herd is heading - one day, albeit not in our lifetimes, our lives will be viewed as quite ordinary (which of course is exactly what we know they already are).

    Happy New Year to you both and keep enjoying the revolution.

    p
    x

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    1. Happy Pet, You statistician you!!!!! LOL. Thanks for the thought, and the truth of your statement. I am enjoying the revolution, I guess the next 'step' if that is the right term would be to meet other men that are similar to me - Led and loved.
      Have a relaxing Sunday

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  11. Normal....what exactly is normal??? My relationship with Master would not be considered normal by most...and those who think they really know me....they would never believe it, unless i had suddenly lost all of my senses. What is important ....are the ones involved ...are they satisfied, content, happy....that is what matters. Isn't it wonderful that 2 like minded people got to meet.....
    I am sure there are others out there like you.....and their support would be a big plus....
    hugs abby

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    1. Thank you for checking out the blog abby, Loved having you stop by. We come from polar opposite relationships yet we you and I share a kinship - we are bound to serve our Master/Mistress. Come back again :)

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  12. When I first read your piece I thought 'that'll get a load of comments' and so it has. I am with Kathy in feeling that it is the more mature man that looks to serve and also that often the issue is not that the man wishes to serve but that his woman resists the opportunity to allow him.

    Over the last few months we have journeyed along this path, encouraged by your blog and Kathy's amongst (a very few) others, plus the book Uniquely Rika. My Queen now controls the money, I take complete care of the home and very definitely obey her. I love this way of living; I find great peace in submission. But the challenge has been 'encouraging' my Queen to embrace the lead - she is not naturally dominant - so I make sure that I always do what she tells me.

    Our society has for too long been male centric; we men have skewed everything to make it seem like that is the right way and only way. Once it was different. Men fear the power of women, so we created structures and belief systems that would give us dominance - and look what a mess of this planet we have made.

    It seems that many of the women who do lead their men, struggle to be comfortable with that, society generally finds the dominant woman to be a threat.Look at the 'humour' around mother-in-laws and 'hen pecked' husbands. I am sure there are many more men who desire to serve their wives, than there are women who will accept their man's service and embrace the lead. It really has to be for women generally to make it normal for men to publicly pledge obedience. I know my wife doesn't want anyone to know - though I am proud to serve and obey.

    Tony

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    1. Tony, you raise some interesting points regarding the dynamics of a woman's psyche. It makes you wonder why women either don't want to lead (I can understand that) or why they care not to lead when their husbands are willing to do most anything for them and they have the ability to lead - even if it is for no other reason than enjoying the increased service, care and love of their husband who wishes to devote himself completely to her.


      Katie is not a strong leader either, but she also loves my 'worship' of her enough to know that she will never give that power up - and I also tease her sometime about what a good submissive wife she'd make if she'd only embrace it - I know I'd sure have fun with 'that' if she'd let me LOL. Thanks for sharing.

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  13. My relationship with my Mistress falls along your way also.

    As far as normal, its normal for us, we couldn't be different than how we are. We have only been together 4 years, (3 of them with her in charge). But it's extremely normal to us. Yeah, I know not to the outside world but nothing takes away from what we have and how we will continue to be.

    In our case we are both pretty good leaders but she is just better at it. She keeps the household running smoothly and by doing so keeps me focused on what needs to be done. I don't miss doing bills for a second and I never will. She doesn't miss doing dishes, laundry or any other housework.

    I guess as long as it works out for both people involved then it is as normal as it needs to be.

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    1. Ahh, a post for another time. I like that thought. And yes, although I knew from the get go that I am not normal in societies definition of normal as common or in the majority but as you say, our life is normal for us. What I am coming to realize is that as 'normal' continues I feel less shy about sharing my normal with others - at least some of it anyway. Thanks for commenting

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  14. In my view the concept of the 'Surrendered Husband' should be as much of a topic as that of the "Surrendered Wife, yet has there been one celebrity to come out as such? As there been even one relationship book discussing the benefits of a man giving up control to a wife? As far as I know, not one. When Rock Hudson and a few Hollywood types came out as gay, the world changed over night. It would be so wonderful if a few prominent men would come out of the closet to announce that they do take marching orders from their wives. Where are all the strong men when we need them? Kathy

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    1. Kathy, If you look through sections of Borders, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, etc there are books on the topic of submissive men and dominant women. I don't know of any like the 50 Shades book with reverse male/female roles, nor do I know of high profile actors, sports figures, etc that have come 'out' admitting they are slaves or submissives to their wife. In that sense I agree. They are either not there or they are like John and I - content to remain as we are hidden behind vales and leaving the coming out part to others.

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  15. In my servitude to S I do 3,4,5,7,8,9 of your points. I would do the others if She ordered it. AS far as being public I do not discuss sexual positions or physical discipline with my family, friends and co-workers although a senior Female co-worker has made comments like "S should whip you when She gets you home tonight" or "If you were my husband, I would beat you regularly". I do not know if She has deduced these things from my comments over the years or is just having fun. However, my family, friends, and co-workers do know S is in charge. My sister once said S was the most dominant person she ever met. My best friend has made comments about my "Amazon Wife" and co-workers tell me they wish their husbands were like me.

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  16. S Slave, OK, so you aren't locked. Good for you. You have more discipline than I do in that area. I love that others know enough about you that they understand S is in charge. I wondered if the coments like you mentioned above lead to further discussion regarding the benefits you experience by having S in charge - not from a Dominant perspective per se but from a 'we function best when she leads.'
    Hope you two have a great weekend.

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