Sunday, March 2, 2014
How demanding should a Dominant Be – Pt 2
Often I will read to Katie portions of blog posts or comments from various bloggers. The other evening I was reading her something in which a man was describing a busy day of work he had courtesy of his wife who had him occupied for most of the day. Katie made an interesting comment after I finished reading, “I would rather have you here with me than be off working all day.”
That sentence gave me a glimpse into what she wants more than anything else – my company and companionship.
All successful relationships are built on love and that love is built on friendship, communication and compatibility. Living as the dominant or submissive (if a couple so chooses to live as such) doesn’t mean that the other prerequisite criteria of a meaningful, loving relationship are no longer important. They always remain important. Yet the specific ways that couples enjoy one another most within a relationship changes and that is something I find so interesting.
For Katie it is time spent with me. We hang out together all the time. We shop together, watch TV together, run errands together, visit friends together, etc and Katie will schedule her day around mine – meaning she tries to not make commitments to leave the house if I am home from work. She actually likes me! I find that pretty cool. So although she does make me cook and maintain the laundry, she does a healthy amount of cleaning around the house while I am gone. My cleaning roles are limited to keeping the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen areas presentable. At times she will have me clean other areas but mostly she takes care of them while I am away. For us this works.
I believe the tension that sometimes exists, especially with men, is a desire to ‘feel’ less than their wife with regard to power and ‘rights’ within the home. I am no different. I enjoy, even desire to have Katie express herself in ways that reinforce who I am as her submissive and the man she owns and loves. But I would dare say that most women prefer their men to love them, care for them, respect them, notice them, speak highly of them, etc., rather than withholding those attitudes because their wife didn’t make them feel submissive or humiliate them.
The tension for me with Katie’s attitude is that I can be pretty lazy given the choice. I enjoy hanging out with her rather than working on a project. Who wouldn’t? I am sure Katie notices that too and has to balance time together with time needed to get things done around the home. That is her responsibility as the one in charge. Mine is to obey and love her as I’ve promised I would.