Monday, March 24, 2014

In the Passenger’s Seat

Growing up I remember times when we traveled as a family. Dad drove, mom sat beside him and us kids occupied the back seat. Dad’s role was to drive. Our role as kids was to be good and not fight while mom’s role was to keep everyone happy. Later when I grew and married that same setup continued with my marriage and now that I’ve remarried and it is only Katie, we’ve ‘switched’ seats in the car. She drives unless I’m told that I’ll be the designated driver for the evening (which is rare) and I get to sit in the passenger’s seat. Lucky me!

Last weekend was a busy one for us. Katie opted to help a friend and both Saturday and Sunday for six hours each day and that required us to travel over an hour each way – both days. Each evening we had commitments; one was a benefit event for a nonprofit organization and the other was a movie from an organization that tours the country and has showings in one or two places in each of the 50 states. In any event, the weekend required quite a bit of travel and some planning.  I of course, was expected to come although Katie asked if I had things to do while she was busy with her friend. I always have stuff to do, so filling six hours is not a problem.

What I wanted to focus on was the thought that my role with Katie is surprisingly identical to my mom’s role when I was a child. During the way there I had to program the GPS, transfer certain ‘essentials’ like makeup, breath mints and a hairbrush from a larger purse to a smaller one. It was my role to make sure she took the right turn when the GPS indicated we were entering an intersection. On one of the days I was told to do some grocery shopping and pick up an item at a local CVS pharmacy. I had to find a radio station that played the kind of music she wanted. When we stopped for a bite to eat one evening at a fast food place, I fixed the ice tea to her liking, fixed a napkin under her neck to keep her top clean and readied her sandwich so she could easily eat it.

This way of functioning during trips is pretty much par for the course. She prefers to drive and so she does. She prefers things certain ways and so my role as her submissive is to do my best to meet her requests. I’ve come to almost automatically do certain things now that I’d never do before submitting. Whenever she mentions an appointment, meeting or other obligation it is now second nature to enter that item in my cell phone calendar with an alarm to remind me at a time she wants. After I dropped her off each day at 10am I left and then set an alarm to make sure I’d return and be back before she wanted me at 4pm each afternoon.

Our relationship as Dominant and submissive has been working like a well oiled machine in most ways that we live now. I’m still learning her ways, her likes, her preferences but they are becoming more natural for me the longer I take care of her needs and observe the way she goes about living.

Having her purse, my laptop, our meal and who knows what else surrounding my feet while sitting in the passenger seat is where I know I will forever be but it is one that I’ve come to thoroughly enjoy. And besides, I can massage her neck and be affectionate when I’m not busy doing something else. I love making her life as rewarding and as satisfying as I can and letting her remain in the drivers seat.

I’m Hers


  1. I'm Her's,

    I like the details you include when describing your trips together. I can picture you sitting in the passenger's seat with Katie's gear at your feet and both of you very happy with the natural order of things. Was there a point early in your arrangement that Katie felt annoyed by all of your attentiveness or did she enjoy it from the beginning?


    1. Scott,
      There was never a time when she didn't enjoy my increased attention. I waited until I had asked Katie if that statement was accurate before responding to you but I knew immediately how she felt. She has always loved the changes in me ever since I submitted and agreed to live according to her preferences rather than mine.

  2. This is my favorite blog .It always reminds me of the relationship I have with my wife. She does most of the driving and will have me answer her phone and text for her as needed. I know how you feel when you say how it just feels natural to submit to your wife. When I wake up in the morning my day revolves around her. Always look forward to your next post. RR

  3. RR, Thanks for the comment. I do appreciate it. I think I live the way a lot of men live that submit to their wives. I know there are little idiosyncracies the make each relationship unique and personal to individual couples but I am a pretty ordinary - relatively old fashioned guy. I'm glad you can relate to some of what I write. I do appreciate your words.

  4. "automatically do certain things now that I’d never do before" Yes, it is all those little things. After you do place, are placed, or were placed in a new position in your relationship these things do become the normal thing for your lifestyle after time. Even with Katy, if I do understand right, you had a short period before flr, where your roles were more traditional.
    I can best try relating this to my own life. I went through all the years of the normal roles. I was in the head of the household position, and decided what mattered. I pursued what I wanted and what I felt best for my family. I sincerely did the best I knew how. Of course she had her own ideas as well, which created all the undercurrents and discord that occur in a marriage. I slowly became more and more disinterested in the whole 'her' thing because why should I care? What for? All that mattered was what I wanted anyways, wasn't it? In the traditional way, I and my interests should be pursued. All things really only moved ahead through me and because of me, or did they?
    Then submission came.
    That part of the over-self-interest or bravado is gone now. In submitting to her, I have found a new focus and it is not me. I am hanging on what she will do or say now but still desperately trying not to be cloying. How can I please her? Will she appreciate what I can do for her? Being the recipient rather than the one who ascribes is humbling. I now receive what is portioned to me, not what I take. I do believe I am nearing the point where I am feeling more secure all this is not just a passing period of my own overindulgence of feelings, but is truly a new focus on our lives together. I guess I could feel this last night as we went through one of those small bumps in understanding that would typically end up as a few days of cold house relationship. Instead it only took a few words and a large bowl of my Parmesan and chili powdered seasoned popcorn by the woodstove watching cable together with me sitting on the floor by her legs to solve that problem.

    1. JT, and isn't sitting where you were enjoying the TV and the popcorn exactly where you love being most? I think as we get older we see the real value in life. It's become all about her and less about 'me'. Time permits one to get to that point and it's pretty obvious to me that you've made that jump. I'm glad you did and hope you two can settle in as I am learning to settle and enjoy the feel of the floor beneath your bottom and the feel of the leg against your arm and shoulder (while you eat your popcorn :)

      Thanks for stopping by again.

  5. I am curious whether Katy normally reads what you are writing in your columns here.
    March 18th you wrote amongst others that you don't have the privilage to be spanked.
    As far as I understand this, it means that you are of the opinion that it would be preferable if Katy would spank you regularly and that you would enjoy it.
    Has Katy reacted to your obvious desire to be spanked ?
    Did she discuss your observation and it possible consequences with you ?
    Is she willing to change her attitude ?

    Furthermore you indicated that it had been 60 days since your last release.
    This is a completely different situation compared with the situation you described in you answer to me in December last year.
    It is not very clear to me whether your abstinence of release during 60 days is based on Katy's or your desire.
    On the one hand Katy said 'embrace the feeling' when you asked her for a release.
    On the other hand you wrote that Katy has a preference for traditional intercourse.
    It is a well-known effect of long-term chastity that the stamina is considerably reduced or even absent. A hair-trigger may do to make you cum.
    Furthermore your penis may shrink which also may result in a less positive result of intercourse.

    These are just some of the points that made me curious.
    I don't want to embarrass you now with still more questions.

    sincerely yours,

    Maria K

    1. Maria,
      Your questions are not embarrassing at all. First off, Katie reads and approves every post that I put on here. The process is as follows. I write a post draft. I send it to Katie's email. She reads it at her leisure - usually within a day or so. She either approves it or most often tells me of an unclear sentence or two or where I've made grammatical errors. She usually does not tell me not to 'write this' or 'say that'. All that you read, she already has. Now whether or not she will adopt it, talk to me further about it or not is another story. In the case of spanking, she has not uttered a word. Quite frankly, I am curious to know what it would be like emotionally to be spanked but also do not want to engage in that unless it comes from Katie's heart. To be spanked just to be spanked means nothing to me. It would be like making love to a woman I have no feelings for and who has no feelings for me. I did that once in my life and it was dreadful. Never again.

      As to my penis size. It's the same as it always has been - 12" and thick!. LOL. I do not have nor have ever experienced 'shrinkitis'. Nor have I ever heard of such a thing. If it could occur so could 'penis growth result with prolonged erections and we all know there is no validity to the millions of $ that men spend on achieving the illusive size of 'my manhood' - that 12" Boa. :) (I'm having fun with you - please excuse my silliness).

      As for the stamina, it is surprising to me that my fear of not being able to deny myself while still pleasing Katie when she wants to make love has not been a reality. I can go just as long as I've always gone while still denying myself. That means we make love until she has 2 or 3 orgasms - or about 10-15 minutes and then we stop. The time in denial has not been an issue and the amount of time is totally up to her. I will ask for release or ask 'when' but she never allows me to pin her down to a specific time or day. It's just who she is.

      More questions?
      Keep them coming.
      Thanks for asking.