Sunday, March 30, 2014
Nothing Really Changes
I was reading a post the other day in which a man mentioned that he was under the weather and how that affected some of the duties he provided his mistress. I received an email from a submissive man and he commented that he wasn’t feeling very sexual because of a death in his family and the sudden responsibility of having to care for his elderly father.
Those two comments brought to light where ‘submission’ fits in the Maslow hierarchy of life essentials. Submission falls somewhere below those physiological needs of food clothing and shelter and below the need for safety and security. The next level on his chart refers to friends and family and it is probably somewhere in that stage where our submissive or dominant roles within a given friendship/love relationship fall.
It is interesting to note how quickly one can go from feeling dominant or feeling submissive to not feeling that way at all when more pressing and important life events usurp ones feeling of power or the lack thereof. Yet my point to mentioning this and to mentioning the two gentlemen that I referred to above is that regardless of how one feels it doesn’t negate who we are. I may become sick but I will remain Katie’s submissive husband. I may not be able to care for her the way I am able when I am healthy and full of energy but in both of our minds I am still the one without power within our marital bond. Likewise should Katie become ill she will forever be my dominant wife. I will always have to get her approval for decisions that affect me, her or the two of us. That will never change unless she decides it should.
The vow we made when we married solidified our roles and that vow supersedes our emotions, feelings or state of being at any one time. We made a vow and that vow is sacred. It can only be broken should the marriage become broken. Many that love the D/s lifestyle do so because they love the associated feelings of excitement, kink, or newness. Understand that those won’t last forever. The honeymoon period always end as 'new' morphs inevitably into 'normal'. Yet the Mistress will remain the mistress and the submissive/slave will remain as such even when those titillating feelings subside.