Monday, April 14, 2014
Ten days ago Katie gave me permission to have an orgasm. It had been 71 days since the previous one. It felt nice. I was glad she permitted me a release but it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Yes there was a second or two or three of ‘wow’ and that was great, but then it was over. The next morning I was told to lock up and she tagged me. I knew I wasn’t coming out until at least the weekend. I hate being locked on Day 1. It’s the depression of starting all over. But I obeyed as I really had no choice in the matter. The following weekend she let me out Saturday evening. We made love. She reached several climaxes. I didn’t even ask if I could. I already knew the answer. On Sunday I was told to lock but not tag. My hopes were raised and Katie later told me she might want to let me out Sunday evening to enjoy me again. But Sunday evening came and went and the cage remained on. On Monday I was told to tag. I put it on and left it unlocked, eventually finding Katie and letting her secure it personally. I texted as I always do the date, tag number and days denied: Tag # 022934. 4/7/14. 9 days denied. I then wrote her a note expressing that I wasn’t in the mood to be wearing the Jailbird. I was feeling down.
Two days later I got up for work and felt similarly. I kept thinking, “this is so ridiculous that I have to live confined inside this steel prison." I’m still feeling that way now (it’s later on that same day) and I know why. For weeks I had been living on a bit of a hormonal high. Throughout the day I’d ache and feel this continued desire to want to be in bed with Katie – or at least with her. I wanted to hold and caress her. I thought about her all the time and texted her often telling her how much I loved and appreciated her as my Mistress Wife. I couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming desire to be with her all the time.
I don’t feel that way now. Yesterday I got a bit of an ache but it was only momentary. I don’t know how long it will be before the perpetual desire to want her again begins its relentless toying with my mind but I hope it’s soon. I love feeling that way and when we make love it makes our lovemaking times all that more enjoyable. I miss that. I hate being in this down swing hormonally. I hate not having my brain constantly focused on her – whether at work or away. It’s the paradox of denial and release. Right now, I want the days to mount so the ache returns.