Monday, June 30, 2014

"I'm Not Allowed"

Earlier this summer Katie invited one of her single girlfriends over. She is a great woman and a dear friend to both of us.  At some point during the evening our conversation with Rachel turned to a discussion about a potential guy that she has an interest in pursuing.  This man happens to enjoy golf. It also just so happens that ‘golf’ is one of two activities that are on my banned list. Golf happens to be on the black list because Katie's previous husband often golfed for many hours on his day off rather than spending his free time with her.

At some point Rachel mentioned to Katie that this guy and I might enjoy golfing.  Without a second’s thought I spoke up saying, “Just because he might want me to go golfing with him does not mean that I’ll be allowed to go.” With my eyes I motioned to my wife next to me as to the reason I wouldn't be doing that.

Katie and Rachel may have smiled but the conversation proceeded unbroken after my statement. I don’t even know if Katie noticed what I had said but I sure did – after the fact.  What struck me in hindsight were a few things. First, just how normal the box that I live in has become. It’s not odd; it’s not abnormal; it just is and I am very content living within that box. I know that golfing is not something that Katie wishes me to do because of the time away it would mean.  (As an aside, I have never taken to golf so it's not something I am dying to do.  Put that ball on the tee and I'll smack that thing a long way but I may miss it a few times before I connect - that's how bad I am :)   Second was the lack of surprise Rachel and Katie gave my statement.  There response was  more akin to 'if that's what Katie wants then that's the way it is'. I do think the cat is out of the bag with Rachel that I serve Katie. She does not know that I vowed to obey her but she often comments to Katie how good she has it.  I think too that Rachel knows that Katie runs our relationship – meaning that she makes decisions – not me.

I mention this five second moment from my life, not to make some profound point but then again, that statement and their acceptance of that response is indeed profound. I have come to accept a new normal - a new normal that fits what Katie prefers. Rachel has also come to accept a new normal too (or maybe just a normal that is becoming more publicly accepted) - that men obey and follow their wives wishes.  For whatever the reason I found both my statement and their reaction to be quite informative.  Maybe you can think of similar statements that you've made that have had similar responses. Feel free to share for the benefit of all if you care to.

I’m Hers

11 comments:

  1. Love it. I know exactly what you mean. Excellent post my friend. I'm going to share with my Mistress K.

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    1. Thanks sub hub! Always appreciate you stopping bye

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  2. Hello IH,

    It is fun to pick up on those little moments that reveal your loving relationship. Those moments can take your breath away when they offer a glimpse the power dynamic; especially when friends and acquaintances get a peak ... and understand.

    Donna and I work at the same place and we both are appreciated for the abilities we bring to the table, and our personal lives stay out. However, coworkers do seem to be catching on to our relationship.

    On Friday a couple of weeks ago , the discussion centered on the upcoming Father's Day celebrations and who was cooking special meals, etc. One of Donna's underlings, who is a close friend, lovingly stated, "So, Scott, the big change for you is that you get to choose what you would like to cook for the family dinner on Sunday instead of what Donna wants you to cook." I couldn't help but smile and agree with her.

    A few days later, a couple of my wife's team members were daring Donna to dye her hair to a fiery red from her natural blond color that she never, ever changes. A concerned woman said, ' What about Scott? Maybe he won't like his wife to be a redhead!" Another coworker replied with the truth, "Oh, Scott will support with whatever Donna decides to do, and will love it!"

    Those are just a couple of small things. Perhaps like you and Katie, we are not brave enough to discuss our Wife-Led Marriage openly; but I guess we are happy enough to display it, and I am proud to serve my exquisite Donna!

    Scott

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    1. Scott, Great stories! I love the first one most but both tell a ton about 'the word on the street' with respect to what your co-workers know about you two. In a way one can't help but see a femdom relationship when it exists and demonstrates love as it was meant to be. I envy that you work together. You get to spend your lives together and that is a precious gift you both were given. I was just in New England (when on vacation) and commented to a husband/wife couple that also work in the same business how lucky they were. Know you are two of a very small percentage of couples that have this gift to enjoy - and you get to live out your WLM to boot in front of them :) Could it get any better?

      Always good to have you stop by and share

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  3. awesome! thanks for sharing...Billy- servant of Lady R.

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  4. Billy, I don't know that I've met you on here previously. Thanks for taking the time to write. I appreciate the compliment and hope you are able to stop by again to voice thoughts, share opinions or have Lady R share on future posts. Welcome!

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  5. Hi. Love your blog. My wife and I have been in a Domestic Discipline relationship for about 10 years. Recently, it has been becoming more overtly FLR. We aren't as open (yet) as you and Katie, but it is drifting that way. My wife has recently been more openly assertive in front of the kids in terms of directing me to do things for her, chores, etc. It's a subtle change, but a change nonetheless. And, you're right, some of those 5 second exchanges are what major relationship changes are made of.

    Dan

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    1. Dan, so glad that you have become a regular contributor and I hope I can get to know you at some level via the blog. I find your comment interesting as you speak of Katie and I being more open than you. I juxtapose that comment against you and your wife who engage in physical discipline - something Katie has not had an interest in pursuing at all. I think it is the missing link (or maybe one of two or three missing links) to an otherwise ideal Mistress/sub relationship.

      Since I've had some extended vacation time these past few weeks I've noticed her comfort level in giving orders, expecting, even demanding (mildly) become more common. I love it and it is those little phrases or a sentence every now and then that fills me with love as I see her blossoming so beautifully into a full fledged mistress.

      Do hope you stop by again and I will read your forum - something I just found.

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    2. I honestly think that being more open about an FLR relationship is probably harder than the physical discipline aspect of our relationship. While society may not be quite as male-dominated as it was for our parents, there is still a huge potential social stigma involved in a man being subservient to a woman, at least among other men. So, I think making that move to being more open about that aspect of your relationship requires a certain courage and confidence that we have not quite achieved.

      I understand the feeling that physical discipline may be the missing link, and it very well may be. I recently asked a question on my blog that was designed to tease out how big a role the physical aspect of DD, by asking the readers whether they would still be into their DD and FLR relationships if spanking and physical discipline was not a part of it. The vast majority clearly saw physical discipline as a core, and probably THE core, of the FLR experience for them.

      I do hope that you will get a chance to explore physical discipline, and I wouldn't give up on it. My wife and I were as vanilla as it gets 10 years ago, and my wife now has not problem subjecting me to hard physical discipline. For us, the turning point was when I discovered the Disciplinary Wives Club website and got my wife to read it. It was a wonderful resource, because it approached Domestic Discipline from the perspective of real world couples and real women -- with none of the fantasy-based BDSM leather and chains trappings that turn off a lot of women. The original website closed down a few months ago, but someone recently put up a blog that has a lot of the original content: http://disciplinarywivesclub.wordpress.com/about/. I don't know whether Katie would be open to reading it or whether it would make her more open to trying it, but it couldn't hurt. There is one posted story titled "Even More" that always really speaks to me about what attracts me to DD and what the wife may get out of it. Good luck!

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    3. Thanks for the info, for the explanation (I read the full account on your blog) and I do understand what it is that you were feeling - the resentment part - the worried part. I have a hope of someday being where you and your wife are now. I don't know if it will ever come to fruition but I do hope it is - if for nothing more than knowing that there is a check-n-balance in what I do. I don't feel as if I should be permitted to do things wrong or show disrespect and have no implication whatsoever. But then again, we are four years into this and it may take some time before we move into adding discipline to our relationship.

      Dan, I've enjoyed getting to know you!

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    4. Same here! And, I do hope you get what you want. Women can change on a dime sometimes. My wife and I were totally vanilla for the first ten years of our marriage. She went from never once thinking about spanking me to being willing to deliver a very serious punishment spanking, in the blink of an eye after one conversation and reading one website. And, while you guys got to the 24/7 control aspect relatively early on, we are 10 years into a DD relationship and is not nearly as regular or as open as yours. So, things move at their own pace.

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