Sunday, July 6, 2014

Turning Another Corner

I’m writing this in mid June but not posting it until now.  I like to write when ideas pop into my head and then schedule the posts so I don’t feel pressured to write when there is nothing significant to put down on paper.  Anyway, I’ve been noticing changes in Katie’s behavior and I doubt it has anything to do with my desire that she become more overtly possessive or dominant.  I think she is simply becoming more of who she is – the Mistress of our home - and is verbalizing her mind more pointedly by making sure I do those things she wishes to take care of her and our home.
That is one of her favorite phrases: “I love you taking care of me.”  Taking care of her of course means that I do what she wants when she wants it done. But by her making sure I meet her needs she is satisfying that desire to know that I am owned.  She is offering me fewer choices. She asks me if I will do something less often and states more often what it is she wants done.  The end result is the same but the way she now tells me what she wants done leaves nothing to choice and, quite frankly, helps me to know exactly what I am to do and when.  It’s what I’ve wanted all along – clarity from her and being able to see her confidence build as the leader of our home.
Here’s a few examples of the subtle changes I’m noticing:
It was a Wednesday night. We were in bed. We would be leaving for vacation early on a Friday so Thursday was our last day to get things done.  In my mind, the day was over and I wanted to cuddle and fall asleep. Katie’s mind was still in high gear.  The silence was interrupted with her stating, “You need to mow the yard.”

“I know, I’ll do it. I don’t want you worrying about that. I’ll take care of it.”

A moment later: “I want this room vacuumed and the downstairs vacuumed too.”

"OK Katie."

Another moment of silence and then: “The dog needs to be bathed. We’ll have to do it later in the day when we have time.”

"OK."


After a longer moment of silence: “Remind me to get more cash for our trip.”

“OK I will.”

A bit later: “When were the sheets changed last?”

“ Last Saturday,” I answered.

“Wash them in the morning, that way they will be clean when we get back.”

“Yes Katie.”

After another minute of peace: “I have a few clothes I want washed tomorrow that I want to take with us when we leave. I’ll throw them in the laundry basket in the morning.”

“OK.” I said once last time.  

It was then when she drifted off to sleep. It was then that I realized I needed help remembering all she just told me. With Katie snuggled tight against my back and her arm wrapped around me I stealthily got my phone and started writing down all I needed to do come morning.  Putting the phone away I fell asleep.

That was one example.  Earlier in the day we ate lunch at a Chinese restaurant with her adult daughter. Opening my fortune cookie I read, “You worked hard today and deserve a reward in the evening.” I smiled, my mind conjuring up thoughts of passionate sex.

“Just because you worked hard doesn’t mean you are going to get a reward,” Katie stated flatly, her daughter listening from across the table. 

I looked her way hoping for support but got nothing. Instead all I got was her backing her mom bytelling me my fortune wasn’t even a fortune but rather a statement. I read it again but Katie once again told me there was no guarantee of any reward.  And when "later" came all I got was a list of things needed doing the following day.
Earlier in the week Katie must have been thinking about how much she enjoyed having me home on vacation. She blurted, “I wish you were home all the time. I’d have you working on so many projects.” 

She must have had visions of me spackling walls and painting rooms, doing small repairs, scrubbing floors, felling trees that need to be thinned in the yard and who knows what else.  What struck me was the openness she expressed in knowing my role is doing stuff so she doesn't have to.  I think she likes owning a man who she can order around and obeys without question.

She is slowly changing. When comparing the person she is now to the one I knew even a year ago the change is significant.  I wonder what she will be like in another few years? All I know is that I am enjoying her even more as she settles into the role as my Dominant wife.

I’m Hers 

21 comments:

  1. I'm-Hers,
    You are a lucky sub. I am happy for you.


    appyu

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    1. I am indeed a lucky sub! Thanks for reading Appy

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  2. Hello I'm Her's,

    I like how you give Katie credit for her growth, not yourself, by stating, "I think she is simply becoming more of who she is – the Mistress of our home - and is verbalizing her mind more pointedly by making sure I do those things she wishes to take care of her and out home."

    Your description of Katie as the "Mistress of our home" says a lot. A household with a wise and beautiful Mistress in charge, who is obeyed and served with energy and love, is a beautiful place to be. Being part of the journey to get there is quite a ride, indeed, and the beautiful queens who assume the role of leadership deserve our best.

    Hope you and Katie have a wonderful week of love, obedience and friendship!

    Scott

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    1. Scott, I need to fall into a boat-load of cash so I can retire and take care of her full time. I do love my role - probably more than she enjoys hers. I think much has to do with her becoming more of who she is becoming and as I see her settle in as the Mistress wife I can't help but admire the woman I love.

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  3. Over time I've noticed changes in my Mistress similar to what you're describing.

    It's a very exciting thing to see her getting more comfortable and confident in her dominance. It's like watching your relationship grow!

    Take care!

    jen

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    1. Jen,
      Glad to have you post here for the first time. Yes Miss Katie is growing more dominant. It's a slow process but it is ever changing. It's the new things I see that both excites me and gives me hope that she will become ever more so. I don't know she is quite as dominant as your Mistress is from the little I learned on you profile but she is getting there.

      Thanks so much for stopping by

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  4. I'm Hers - isn't it wonderful to watch the one you love and adore grow in confidence and assertiveness over time to the point where orders like the ones Katie gave to you just come naturally to them without a moments hesitation. i too love it when Owner automatically just hands me Her bag for me to carry when i meet Her after work or when She just informs me that i need to do this or that in addition to whatever else i am expected to be doing that day. i love it and She has come to expect it - which makes us both happy.

    p
    x

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    1. Happy pet, it sure is. I love seeing her being so free to speak and act as she wishes. The attitude and confidence goes well with her and with me too. To feel that confidence is hard to describe but one that I hope never vanishes.

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  5. "I wonder what she will be like in another few years? All I know is that I am enjoying her even more as she settles into the role as my Dominant wife."

    there isn't a sentence that describes my feelings any better. nicely said brother!

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  6. We all grow, you and I grow as subs, My Mistress and Katie grow as leaders or dominants. Perhaps you don't notice the changes in yourself as much as you notice the ones in her. Its just part of the journey, keeps things fresh, forever evolving and exciting.

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    1. SOS KK you bring up and interesting point - I wonder how I am growing and you are right - I don't notice changes in my self. I'm too close to 'me' to see them. But our relationship and love sure makes for an exciting and rewarding marriage.

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  7. Good point, you guys.

    One growth area for me has been how I perceive my wife. I am just now realizing that Donna is not merely a Dominant Wife but a wonderful woman who uses her wisdom, love, discernment and understanding to become leader of our family. She is a Woman deploying her many talents, and not just a resource for me to satisfy my feelings and feel complete. I certainly do love her and want her life to be as rewarding as possible!

    Scott

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    1. Scott, and my guess would be that Donna would say that she relies on you and the wisdom you have to provide her in making the decisions she does and leading wisely. Great WLMs are a team effort in my opinion - only it is the wife that takes the lead with the support and assistance of her husband in making their marriage as great as it can possibly be.

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  8. "I wonder what she will be like in another few years?" Considering how much men like you and I crave this type of relationship, I doubt that "be careful what you wish for" will apply.
    My relationship with my wife has changed due to my efforts to serve her and encourage her to lead. Sometimes it is little things like her silently holding her hand out with something to be placed in the fridge, no request, just expecting me be there for her. And that is what we all want, to be there for out loved and cherished wives in a very special way.

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    1. Mr. Bill, I think that you are in the majority when you say that many of her changes have to do with your efforts to encourage her to lead. Your wife, like mine, need encouragement because there are very few if any role models for them to follow and learn from..... added to that is many women don't care to read blogs or interact with other 'dominant' women or women that have assumed leadership in their marriage. It's a security thing - I think. Thanks for posting.

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    2. My wife and I have been moving slowly, bit by bit, toward more of a genuine FLM relationship. Like you guys, a part of me really craves it. But, I'm not sure I agree that the fact you crave it means you wont have a "be careful what you wish for" reaction when you get it. My wife disciplined me last week in a way that felt like we were really turning a corner in terms of the control and dominance she is able and willing to exercise. And, it left me more than a little unsettled. I've always felt like for the dominance to be real, and for my submission to it to be real, it almost has to be at least partially against my will. Or against that part of my will that doesn't like having authority imposed on me. In other words, she has to TAKE the power, versus me asking her to exercise it more. And, if it really is a real taking of control by her, it shouldn't be surprising that it leaves me unsettled and wondering if I'm ready for this.

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    3. Dan,
      I think you are ready for this. I don't know the specifics but feel free to elaborate either hear or via email (top right of page). My hunch is that she made you feel powerless and in reality aren't you? I mean, if you pledged your submission and her the authority to lead are you not her's to use and lead as she wishes (within the confines of what the two of you agreed upon). Personally I'd love to hear the specifics of what happen but I'll leave it up to you if you care to share and how you wish to do it should you decide to explain more of what happened. I wish you well friend!

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    4. I'm happy to share what I can, and what I can't isn't because I'm reluctant. It's because the difference between this and other sessions was subtle and hard to put into words. The difference began with her demeanor. It was more stern, more no-nonsense and more matter-of-fact. There was just something that communicated more clearly than usual that she really is assuming her place. And, although she has given me many hard discipline spankings, this one was about as hard as it has ever been. And, it went longer than usual. Usually, she stops the spanking before I am getting close to something I really might not be able to handle without breaking down. Usually because my bottom is looking a little too worse for the wear. This time, it was clear that she was going to go until she felt the message had been delivered. And, with respect to severity, we recently acquired a thin rubber strap that pushes my limits closer to something I can't handle. So, it was a combination of her increasing confidence and willing to be merciless, and more effective tools to bring that about. In terms of the result, while I did not cross that threshold of breaking down in tears, it was closer than I usually get. And, the combination of her demeanor and the severity of the session brought me a taste of that state that you referred to an earlier post as a "healthy fear" of her. The best I can to put my finger on what was different is that, for me, a discipline spanking often results in a greater sense of balance, security, intimacy. This time, at the end, those were counter-balanced by--this will sound negative, but I don't think it is--a bit of anxiety, and a little resentment. I think that resent is actually a step forward, because it results from something like that "powerlessness" you inferred. I haven't really felt fear or resentment at the end of other disciplinary sessions, because they had not pushed me that close to the limit and, yes, they were part of a disciplinary process that I agreed to. But, they took me only to place that was well within in the comfort zone of that agreement. This time, precisely because there was more of her will in it, mine was less. So, there was really that element of her "taking" power, not just me giving it. It's a very subtle but important difference.

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  9. I very much enjoyed reading the comments as well as the post. Becoming a mistress to a man is not something that happens overnight. It does take time, it takes a man who is willing to let his wife grow in confidence. One of the pleasures I have experienced over the last couple of years is watching the changes in my own daughter. In the beginning she was most reluctant to accept femdom as a way of life. In many ways she continues to have doubts, yet events in her life seem to push her into taking more control. She still doesn't like the word mistress, but in almost every way her husband looks to her for direction and guidance. Kathy

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    1. Kathy, your comment seems to be like that of the two that I just answered..... that dominance takes time to learn and grow accustomed to. That women don't often feel comfortable being labeled 'dominant'. Society hasn't deemed that term 'acceptable' and so it is hard for them to feel comfortable leading in a society in which the assumed leadership should be coming from the males - even though there is a gigantic void in male leadership in the home.

      Always love your comments. They make me think. Thanks!

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