Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Just Checking

It seems as if I never have a dull morning.  Today when I awoke and headed into the bathroom I noticed that there were no panties set out on the counter for me. Knowing this was a workday that caught me by surprise. Assuming Katie had simply forgot to set them out I texted her with the short message: "Lock?". "Yes" came her reply a few seconds later. Smiling I did as I always do on days I work. I locked up.

Shortly after seeing Katie our paths crossed and she reached down and grabbed my crotch. It was a gentle grasp, almost unnoticeable, but I knew what it was. She was checking to make sure I had obeyed her instructions. I love those little checks. I love them because I know she cares. Then just before I left for work we kissed and unexpectedly she reached for my fly unzipped it and peered inside. I didn't know what she was doing, and then it dawned on me. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Checking to see what underwear you have on." Seeing that I was wearing something a little more colorful then bland and nondescript and knowing that I was wearing shorts, Katie, part instructed and part warned me how I was/was not to sit. I was told to keep my legs together so as to not allow someone to serendipitously look up my pant leg and see periwinkle underwear covered in polka dots.

I said "yes ma'am", gave her a final kiss, and headed to the car smiling broadly. She made my day and it took her all of ten seconds to do so. I know she cares. I know she loves me. I know she accepts me as the submissive man I am. Most of all I know she expects me to obey. What more could I ever ask?

I'm Hers

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Three Reminders

I wanted to write a short post highlighting three instances that Katie brought to my attention that reminded us both that we live in a WLM that Katie firmly controls. The first happened on my way home from work. I was traveling and so I was some distance away when I received a text from a man whose wife wanted to consult with me personally about an issue that related to what I do. We went back-and-forth texting. I told her that I would be home at 7:42 PM and could meet with her then but first had to clear that with Katie. Katie returned my text with a phone call and told me I could not meet at that time because I had left for work that morning with chores undone. Specifically, she told me I had laundry that needed to be put away and the kitchen needed to be straightened before anyone came to the house. Humbly, I returned a text to our mutual friend informing her that I could not meet until 8 PM due to some items that needed to be finished at home as soon as I got home.

When I arrived I quickly buzzed around putting things away, wiping counters and tidying up before Katie gave me the "thumbs up" that our house was presentable. I few minutes later her girlfriend arrived and after taking care of her concern we all relaxed on the back deck and enjoyed her company.

The second reminder came on a Saturday night when we went to a nearby town to hear live music. (As an aside, one of the unexpected joys of moving south is the availability of live music that can be found almost everywhere.  It’s something that is not nearly as common in the north and I have grown to love listening to a wide variety of music genres and most all have been free to attend!)  But back to our evening out: as we sat enjoying the band singing oldies they eventually played a well known song by The Spinners. When they sang the words of the chorus: "Whenever you call me, I'll be there. Whenever you want me, I'll be there. Whenever you need me, I'll be there. I'll be around" Katie leaned over and said in a volume loud enough to be heard above the band "that's your song!" 

I love it when she states the obvious as I know that she too is making connections during her day that she is the head of our home and I am there to tend to her needs as she wishes.

Finally, one of the things that occupy a large amount of Katie's time anymore is babysitting her granddaughter while mom and dad work. Anna spends several days every week at our home and although she is barely a year old she probably sees Katie as much or more than she sees her parents. She is just starting to talk and recognize words, associate words with things, mimic, and becoming more mobile. To observe a child at this age is truly a marvel. They are learning words, exploring, connecting the dots and require constant attention because of their new-found mobility. One day while I was at work Katie asked the question "where is pop?" (That is what she calls me) Without pause she looked into the kitchen! Yes even our little granddaughter associates me with being in the kitchen preparing meals, cleaning up, cleaning counters, doing laundry and folding clothes, all of which take place in that part of the house. 

There is no submission or dominance that is tied to her innocent eyes looking for her grandfather in the kitchen but her response does speak volumes with where I spend an inordinate amount of time while I am home with her.

I could go on and on with examples but will call it quits for now. Love all of you that read, enjoy, and take the time to respond to the words on these blog posts.

I'm Hers

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Not an Ordinary Greeting

I had just typed a draft of this post and sent it to Katie to review and approve when I received a comment on the blog wondering if we ever had sex.  I smiled and wrote a quick response, basically saying we do and do so often.  I usually don't post on our sex life as this topic is one of our intimacy - and saved only for the two of us. Yet, sex is part of life. It's a good thing. It's a pleasurable part of a healthy relationship relationship and is arguably the most powerful way two people can bond.  The post below describes one such evening. Here it is what I wrote Katie to approve:

Last night Katie totally blew me away. As a bit of background, once a week Katie has a” girl’s night out” with a few of her closest friends. Last night happened to be that night. She left before I got home from work and spent a few hours enjoying company with friends. I got home an hour after she left the house and used the time to get my work-out in so that I’d be done before she returned. I don’t like working out when it takes time away from the two of us, even though there is value in exercising and something I enjoy doing. With Katie away, it permitted me an ideal opportunity to get some exercise rather than watching TV - actually I did a bit of both :)
Around 9:30 pm Katie arrived home, burst through the door with a beautiful smile and ran to me embracing me with a passionate hug and kiss. I was completely taken aback. We always kiss when one of us returns home but this greeting was more than your average ‘hi, I’m back’ kiss. This time there was passion oozing from her body. I love passion.  On top of that was her dress. She was wearing her usual blue jeans and flats but  tonight she wore a short sleeve white top that I had never seen before. She was absolutely stunning and it flamed my own hunger.
In the kitchen we embraced, she looking fantastic and smelling of Este Lauder while I was shirtless, sweaty and hot. Apparently my appearance wasn't a deterrent to her wanting to touch me. Who knows why she wanted to hug but she did. I asked what the occasion was and her response was straightforward as it always is, “I want you”. Wow! She knows how to make a guy’s day. She walked from room to room making sure the house was clean and doors were locked.  Rather than sitting together, which I expected she'd do, she told me it was time for bed. 
I thought, “whatever you say Katie. I’m coming.”
Just before we got into bed she said, “Oh, I don’t have to get up early,” and sighed with relief. 
Geez, and here I thought her hurry was to get up to the bedroom so we could make love! Instead her hurry was partly because she didn't want to be up late and lose precious sleep time.  Oh, well. But throwing me another curve she quickly readied for bed, turned out the lights, stripped, and lay on her back telling me she wanted me inside her. It was another one of those ‘I'm taken aback’ moments. Katie never lies on her back and allows me to take charge of our love making. It just never happens. Well, almost never. Tonight was different and we made love just as she wanted. It was beautiful. It was close. It was intimate. It was fun and in classic Katie style, when we were done she pushed me off and told me she needed to use the bathroom. :-)
So much for the post-coital snuggling. That had a wait a few minutes. It's times like these when I realize how much I love this woman. I love placing my trust in her. I told her as we lay in bed snuggling afterward that she's taught me how to be a better lover. She's taught me how to love; how to give rather than expect; to give rather than take. She's taught me how to be patient. She's taught me how to listen to her body, to move when she wants and be still when that is her preference; to hold her when she wants to be held; to give her space when she needs room to breathe; to engage her in conversations that interest her and not just me. She’s helped me learn that my place is not to nag or complain but to lean on her and wait until she is ready. I told her that I would do anything for her and I meant it. But I told her how I trust her to look after me with as much effort as I strive to take care of her. The difference of course is that my caring includes serving and obeying while her caring involves the responsibility of leading and guiding.
Our relationship is not the typical marital one that most couples share but it's one that works for us. It’s one that's based on love and trust and communication and closeness. It's one in which we have both accepted our respective roles; my role of obeying and serving and her role of guiding and leading. It's a beautiful way to live.
I’m Hers

Sunday, August 10, 2014

"It's Normal to Masturbate"

This post is about masturbation and is the result of comments I've read on other blogs while researching the previous post, as well as recent comments I've read on the subject. Of course, to get a good discussion going, I need to light a fire so this will be my tactful attempt to do so and hopefully provide some food for thought.  Enjoy.

Normal. The word appears to be so straight-forward, so easy to define, but when you think about it, it is far from definitive.  Normal has to do with what we see most often. It’s normal for people in the States to live in a home. It’s not normal to live out of your car.  We define normal to mean ‘that which most people do.’  Here are some more examples:

  • It is normal for couples to marry more than once.
  • It is normal to ignore posted speed limits and travel faster than what is posted.
  • In the south it’s normal to ‘travel’ in the ‘passing’ lane. :)  Aaaaagggghhhh!!!!!!!
  • It’s normal when arguing to progress from rational, higher levels of thinking (reasoning, making valid points, listening to the other side) to lower, more childish ones (getting angry, yelling, and fighting).
  • It’s normal to lie and keep secrets from family members when you've done something wrong- at least some of the time.
  • It’s normal to be overweight – at least 70% of us are.
  • It’s normal to have sex about once a week (according to statistics)
  • It’s normal for adults to not exercise enough – only 20% do.
  • It’s normal to be in debt
  • It’s normal to masturbate
  • It’s normal for men to think about other women when they masturbate.

OK, I’m-Hers, where are you going with this?  I am going to my final two examples of ‘normal’…. Masturbation.  Masturbation is normal. I get it. I do it – at least some - when I am permitted by Katie. I don’t fantasize anymore because I don’t have the ability to do  so because I am locked and if I do stroke myself, I do so while Katie is present next to me in bed. (She tolerates me doing this every now and then.)  What struck me when I researched and wrote the post about the woman that supposedly locked her son in chastity to curb his masturbatory habit was the number of comments that were akin to this: “Dude, wanking off is normal. If you don’t agree I’m going to punch you in the face!”

That is the comment of an idiot. Their normal is determined by them alone and is viewed as the only way one should be live and act.  If that is you, then you are an idiot – at least during the few seconds while you thought that thought :).  

There are lots of things we do that are normal that are not wise: speeding, putting on too much weight, not exercising, having too much stress in our lives, not treating our partner with the utmost respect all the time, etc.  Just because ‘most’ people do it, doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Just because it's 'normal' doesn't automatically qualify it as being wise, right and just. I’ve said this before and I will most likely repeat this saying because it is filled with wisdom: Don’t try to prove yourself right. Rather, try to prove yourself wrong.  

Another ‘norm’ is we are inherently insecure individuals. Because we are, we always are defending our actions – regardless if they are proper or stupid ones. 

Here’s another: Masturbation is ‘healthy’. The ‘healthy’ argument usually revolves around, the ‘you can’t let semen stay in your body too long or it will harm you’. I disagree with that. Nocturnal dreams/nightly emissions release semen. A full prostate is very effectively milked and semen released during bowel movements when the prostate is full. The body has built-in mechanisms to maintain its own healthy state and so I don't buy the I'm masturbating to keep myself healthy. Nice try but that is a lousy argument. Try again :)

So is masturbation wrong? My answer is yes and no. I think it’s quite healthy, especially when a partner stimulates their partner. One man wrote a comment that he has ED and mastubation is how they share their lovemaking. I think that is so cool.  It is an intimate and open act shared (and maybe that is a key to all this - it's shared) by he and his wife. That is an act of intimacy. Its bonding because it is shared. 

However, when a man (or woman) goes into a room, locks the door and self-stimulates. I don’t think that is healthy. I don't think it should be done. I don't think that because you have the urge, you have to act on it. If you have to lock a door to do anything the fact that you locked the door speaks volumes. Why do you get off in the shower, closet, attic or some other isolated place rather than with your significant other? What are you hiding? Seems to me the implications to what you are doing are far different than the man with ED masturbating while cuddled in bed with his wife.

That’s my opinion. OK, I lit the fire. Feel free to douse water all over by party.

I'm Hers

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Single Moms, Masturbating Sons, Chastity

I had scheduled this post to appear on the blog in early August but with the great discussion on chastity on the femdom101 blog I thought it would be pertinent to post it sooner rather than later:

A few weeks ago I happened to come across one of those Yahoo threads in which a single dad chose to stop his son from masturbating 3-4 times a day by purchasing TWO chastity devices. He approached the situation with his teenager by agreeing to lock himself up if his son would agree to lock up too.  I found the thought interesting and the other day did a Google search trying to locate the thread so I could reread it.  I never found it but did find a fascinating blog written by a single mother from Long Island.  I pasted the link to her blog at the end of this post. 

The blog is the story of how she too, chose to use a chastity appliance to handle a son that was out of control - with excessive and chronic masturbation only one part of his many control issues.  I strongly encourage you to read her story. It will take you a few hours to work through all of her posts. She walks the reader through a year of her life with her son, daughter and a neighbor girl.  I don't necessarily agree with all that this mother chose to do but I admire her on many levels for taking a strong approach with his 'issue'.

What got me thinking as I read other Yahoo threads and blog comments on other pages were the number of mothers that have locked up young males in order to prevent them from masturbating.  I find the trend fascinating and wonder how prevalent this practice is among parents.  My hunch is that with the increase in single-parent homes with mothers being the lone adult raising children the approach to post-pubescent sons might play out a bit differently than it would be in a two-parent household where the influence of a father that masturbated as a teen (and probably still does as an adult) would have a partial say in any decision.  

Masturbation is always associated with lust and to me, the issue with masturbation is not the act of self-fondling but with where the mind is during the act. It cannot be in a place that a pastor or priest or rabbi would approve.  It is in a place where the masturbating male is using the female for his own pleasure and self-gratification. That is not love. It never has been and never will be.  It's degrading to women and I will be the first to admit that I've 'gone there' when the practice had a hold on me.

In any event, I'd love to hear any feedback after reading this woman's story. I will say no more as I don't want to reveal any surprises but leave it to say, there are definite brow-raising moments.

I'm Hers