Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Single Moms, Masturbating Sons, Chastity

I had scheduled this post to appear on the blog in early August but with the great discussion on chastity on the femdom101 blog I thought it would be pertinent to post it sooner rather than later:

A few weeks ago I happened to come across one of those Yahoo threads in which a single dad chose to stop his son from masturbating 3-4 times a day by purchasing TWO chastity devices. He approached the situation with his teenager by agreeing to lock himself up if his son would agree to lock up too.  I found the thought interesting and the other day did a Google search trying to locate the thread so I could reread it.  I never found it but did find a fascinating blog written by a single mother from Long Island.  I pasted the link to her blog at the end of this post. 

The blog is the story of how she too, chose to use a chastity appliance to handle a son that was out of control - with excessive and chronic masturbation only one part of his many control issues.  I strongly encourage you to read her story. It will take you a few hours to work through all of her posts. She walks the reader through a year of her life with her son, daughter and a neighbor girl.  I don't necessarily agree with all that this mother chose to do but I admire her on many levels for taking a strong approach with his 'issue'.

What got me thinking as I read other Yahoo threads and blog comments on other pages were the number of mothers that have locked up young males in order to prevent them from masturbating.  I find the trend fascinating and wonder how prevalent this practice is among parents.  My hunch is that with the increase in single-parent homes with mothers being the lone adult raising children the approach to post-pubescent sons might play out a bit differently than it would be in a two-parent household where the influence of a father that masturbated as a teen (and probably still does as an adult) would have a partial say in any decision.  

Masturbation is always associated with lust and to me, the issue with masturbation is not the act of self-fondling but with where the mind is during the act. It cannot be in a place that a pastor or priest or rabbi would approve.  It is in a place where the masturbating male is using the female for his own pleasure and self-gratification. That is not love. It never has been and never will be.  It's degrading to women and I will be the first to admit that I've 'gone there' when the practice had a hold on me.

In any event, I'd love to hear any feedback after reading this woman's story. I will say no more as I don't want to reveal any surprises but leave it to say, there are definite brow-raising moments.

I'm Hers

http://maryfromli-raisingmyson.blogspot.com/2011/05/revelation.html

25 comments:

  1. My bet is that it is fantasy. I can not imagine a teenager who in the first post is out of control stealing and crashing cars submitting to a single mother and wearing a chastity device.

    I agree with I'm-Hers in that masturbation is associated with lust.
    Personally I do not like masturbation. I have struggled with it through my life. There have been times when I have abstained for long periods of time. I would like it if my wife was overtly against masturbation but she is not.

    Personally I am not into the idea of giving choices. I think parents should set the rules and children should obey them. I know that is not the politically correct way these days. I recall being caught doing something at school and the teacher gave me the choice between the cane or a detention. I desperately did not want the detention but could not bring myself to ask for the cane. In the end the teacher put me on detention. This is something that has stayed with me. I feel weak. I wish I had had the strength to ask for the cane but I didn't.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Submanhub, Thank you for your comment. I never considered that the posts were fictional and indeed they may be. I don't know. I did write the author but never received a response.

      Delete
    2. I kinda agree with submanhub. This blog makes for a good story, but my bet it is just that. Not because of her actions, but the idea of enforced male chastity, IMO, is just a male fantasy. One has to agree to remained locked and my bet is a teenage boy with raging hormones wouldn't stay locked in a plastic device any longer than he could find a box of tools. Cumming is all I thought about in my mid-upper teens. Could something like this ever happen? Yeah, maybe. Would it be good for the male? Probably. I know it would be good for most married men or those in monogamous relationships. No doubt about that. We had one poster on the chastityforums site that related his experience where his wife took to male chastity so much that she kept him locked 24/7 only to be unlocked for sex then locked up immediately afterwards. It had been going that way for a couple of years now. For him, suddenly the reality of MC doesn't match his fantasy and he is having second thoughts citing her lack of trust in him as one reason. I thought to myself how I would give anything if my spouse would treat me that way. How great it would be for our relationship. It's still a fantasy for me (mostly), but I wonder what the reality would be like.

      Delete
    3. Wishful4, I am sure the phrase, be careful what you wish for holds true in this case. As much as it might be a fantasy for you to want 24/7 chastity, you also run the risk of feeling like she has locked and forgotten you, should her desire for sex diminish. That would be an unhappy place to be in my mind. I love the attention as much or more than I love the fact that she locks me - which is a form of attention in its own way.

      Delete
    4. Hi Wishful4,
      With respect to my teen years. I went to boarding school so of course no privacy. I was also in the middle of the social ladder. Not one of the "in crowd" but also not one of the pariahs either. To be caught masturbating meant you were known as a "wanker" and a sure fire way to slip to the bottom of the social ladder. Wankers did not get invited to secret drinking parties or skinny dipping in the school pool in the middle of the night. Wankers would wake up to wet beds because someone would pour a jug of water over the sleeping teen. You get the idea. There was a lot of pressure not to masturbate and so during term time I would often go more than 10 weeks without masturbating. Naturally I would have raging hard ons during the day in class and wet dreams at night every week or so. That I managed by wearing underpants and a singlet so that the pyjamas did not get wet with cum.

      During school holidays I would go home and without the self imposed fear of being discovered I would succumb and masturbate. A lot!. It used to make me feel weak and in a way I used to look forward to going back to school. To the structure of the boarding house.

      So I think it would be possible for teen boys to not masturbate but it would require a change of societal attitude from the current Its OK basically encouraging boys to masturbate to a societal attitude recognising the lust and weakness associated with masturbation and that would have to be coupled with vigilance where I suspect everyone would be watching everyone else.

      The point being it is possible for teen boys to abstain for decent periods of time.

      Delete
    5. submanhub, Here is another 'true-ism' and one I learned from an older professor when I first started teaching: "Pain is a more powerful motivator than pleasure." He never curved exams. He believed that students needed to work harder than just be given help because everyone else in class decided not to give their best effort while preparing for an exam. I never forgot that 10 second conversation. There is a lot of truth in those words and your story is an example of that very truth.

      Thanks for sharing!

      Delete
    6. "Pain is a more powerful motivator than pleasure."
      I think for that to work their has to be a drive before such that there is an acceptance of pain. By this I mean, I was basically a good kid but would on the spur of the moment so something silly and get the cane. The pain of the cane was a motivator to stop and think. I was never caned such that I resented it. Likewise when exercising for example, in building muscle you have to exhaust the muscle to get any gain and that hurts.

      So pain is both a warning to the mind that something is wrong (either cane - I done wrong or cut yourself - body damages) and it is also a necessary component of at least physical improvement.

      And for kinky old me a good spanking by the wife is a extremely personal validation of my existence.

      Delete
    7. agreed submanhub, there needs to be some type of extrinsic or intrinsic motivator that will make one accept the pain delivered and not give up. In the example I gave, the motivator was the cost of the course students paid, their desire for a good grade and maintaining an acceptable GPA. For you the pain of the cane could be endured because you love the woman that delivered the uncomfortable blows.

      Delete
  2. I admit that I have not followed the link not wishing to spend a couple of hours following the story. However I think there are few points in your post my friend that need challenging.

    So women don't masturbate. Really! And males masturbating always objectify women (even gay men?). And no male has fantasised about some incredible beauty (or another sexy male) whilst having sex with his wife. Or his wife hasn't fantasised about being with some incredible hulk (or a temptress).

    Let's get real. Masturbation is normal and practised by men and women the world over. Fantasy is normal and healthy (and fun).

    Within a committed relationship it may be that masturbation (by either partner) might be detrimental - it being so much easier sometimes to self-pleasure than to invest energy in the relationship.

    Most 'chastity' blogs seem to focus on the denial, the number of days between orgasms, 'ruined' orgasms etc, but not on the pleasures of submission ones partner - surely evidence that wanting to be locked is a bit of a kink?

    How come we men are so weak that we need a device to ensure we focus our energies on our partner? Whatever happened to willpower?

    And isn't it time we busted the myth that chastity devices prevent orgasm? The typical device can be pulled out of unless you are secured with a PA piercing and lock.

    And yes, at present I am locked. My wife locks me occasionally to demonstrate her ownership of me. And yes I love the constant reminder of her authority. And no, I am not tempted to cheat, because I chose to pledge absolute obedience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MHD, I think we are going to have to agree to disagree at some level. I agree that yes men do fantasize as well as women. Personally I can say I've never done so - thinking about someone else while making love with my wife. Thats just wrong. I mean, my gosh, I can't even fathom going there.

      You bring up an interesting point when you state, "masturbation is normal and practiced by ben and women the world over. Fantasy is normal and healthy" Hmmmm, food for my small brain to consider for a day or so. I think I will have to address this in a separate post after I mull those thoughts over for awhile.

      Thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  3. Hear, hear!

    If it indeed is true that some single mothers are locking their teen sons up in chastity devices (smells like one of those urban legends that circulate the Internet for years), I say: CALL SOCIAL SERVICES ON THOSE CRAZY BITCHES!

    Masturbation is normal. Yes, excessive masturbation indicates there might be a problem of some kind, but locking up male teens is not the answer. What, are single fathers going to lock up their teen daughters up too? Ewwww!!!

    Chastity devices in an FLR should not be necessary IMO. If a dominant woman can't trust her sub partner, something is wrong: trust issues, cheating issues. Trust is paramount in any relationship. If the device serves to remind the sub male who's boss, well, he should know who's boss, no devices needed.

    Sign me,
    Dominant woman.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dominant Woman, thank you for taking the time to share. I liked the thoughts. But I do wonder...... how many men (and women) cheat on their spouses? Isn't the answer an incredible number? Wouldn't you agree that some do so because they are put into certain situations where they can cheat given the physical distance from their spouse? Meaning: cheating at the office, at a social establishment after work, while away on business, etc I wonder if they would cheat/flirt/entice another if their spouse where along with them? I think the answer of course is 'no they wouldn't'. If we can agree on that then might a chastity device act at some level like a form of protection the wife has to prevent such misbehavior?

      I agree that trust is everything in marriage and I would never want to break trust with Katie but...... but I know that I am not beyond temptation. I know my eye naturally drifts to the form of a beautiful woman, I know I am not beyond reproach in my mind at all times. Because of this I love that she keeps me secure. She keeps me safe. She provides a reminder - a physical reminder - that I am hers. I would think that you do the same with your submissive - remind him that he is yours. I would think you do so to make sure he knows, without question, that he is yours and he is expected to serve and obey. Katie does the same thing and one way she reminds me is via a chastity device that I always wear whenever I am apart from her.

      Loved your comments.
      Thanks

      Delete
  4. I should add that my "Hear, Hear!" was addressed @ My Heart's Desire.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dominant Woman,

      You are right of course about chastity devices within an FLR. If we men were honest we'd admit that being locked feeds our need for attention. Being locked, as I am sometimes, in a shiny steel tube that looks gorgeous and continually draws my attention to the weight hanging between my legs is pleasurable. I would never have wanted to be locked in one of those horrible plastic ones.

      Delete
  5. Maybe I'm a silly idealist and purist, but it saddens me to think that submissive men may cheat on their dominant partner just like "regular" guys do. I have this notion that sub men are different, that they are evolved beyond the 'regular' guys. If I have to lock my sub up, I may just as well have a regular dude. To me, it make the whole F/m relationship pointless.

    Sign me,
    Dominant woman (currently single)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dominant woman, I like you. You challenge me and I like that. Thanks. I really don't know if submissive men cheat at a level equal with nonsubmissives. I would think not and would think that because of the increased attention their dominant most likely gives them. When the cats away the mice will play is an expression that is unfortunately all too true. Hopefully the dominant will keep her mouse in check. But when stripping all the dominant/submissive/alpha/beta characteristics of men away, you still have basic qualities with most men - they love women and therein lies the temptation.

      I hope you do keep contributing.
      Have a great weekend.

      Delete
  6. I would have to agree with Dominant Woman. Masturbation is normal and in my case it has replaced intercourse with my wife. I have ED and am not able to maintain an erection long enough to penetrate, she has issues as well preventing us from having a normal sex life. I enjoy satisfying her orally, but she has never been really comfortable doing so for me, so my release is through masturbation. She is the focus of my attention not some internet hottie or workmate.

    As far as chastity goes, I gave my wife authority over my orgasms and did so voluntarily and do not use (or intend to) a device. I also agree that the device is more about the attention it brings than any real fear of infidelity. Of course I am speaking only of how I perceive it, there may be instances where there is a true fear of an inability to control oneself.

    Just my thoughts

    SubJ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SubJ, I believe your reasons for masturbation are different than most if not all younger men. With an ED condition, you and your wife have modified how you share with one another sexually. I don't know but that is my hunch. I would imagine that before the ED you copulated more than you masturbated. As to chastity, I agree in part, but feel the real issue with being kept chaste (locked or not) has to do with the attention the wife provides. Thanks for sharing.

      Delete
  7. the boy character in that motherblog is named David, and in http://maryfromli-raisingmyson.blogspot.fi/2011/09/new-horizons.html he starts doing footrubs.
    At http://www.femdomcity.com/stories.html There is one with nickname David, longtime writer of fictious femdom stuff for years(2009) to this day, always very long and detailed and always with the foot fetish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How do you access the blog of mother and son? It is private

      Delete
  8. When I was teenager in high school I knew I had a smaller penis than most of the other guys. This caused me to masturbate every day and usually more than once and often as many as 5-7 times.
    I had to masturbate to make my small penis not erect in class or in the halls. After one hot girl made fun of my tented pants I knew I had to do something. It erected for about a dozen different very hot young ladies in our school and it had a mind of its own. They of course wore very short skirts, low necked tops, thigh high boots, and softe sweaters. They had sealed my fate to being a chronic masturbator.
    I not only did not get my school work done, but because I masturbated at least five times a day about four times a week I had trained my penis to ejaculate quickly. When I did finally have sex with a woman I came before she could even get close.
    Because of my short comings and quick comings I accepted any girlfriend I had having sex with other guys and stayed with her. I had about four girlfriends and my ex-wife that all had sex with other guys and I remained faithful to them. Because of this I am predisposed to being a cuckold and wearing a chastity fulltime ensures that I would accept it if my Wife ever did have sex with another man.
    I can’t help but think back at all the time I wasted when I could have been learning something and getting a better life if I had been locked in a chastity device back then.
    I would have to say that requiring young males to wear a chastity device from about age 13-21 would teach them to focus on their studies. I know it would have for me.
    With females taking over all the top graduate spots and high position graduate it seems that females will decide what's best for the males in the future.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous, thank you for sharing. I don't know if you have shared before but if you do so in the future I would encourage you to sign some type of initial so that I can get to know you. Your first comment stated that because you had a smaller penis, that was the reason for your excessive masturbation. I didn't understand the connection between penis size and frequency.

      In your situation I would agree that being put into chastity would probably have been a beneficial thing as a teenager. I guess the concept of thinking of all boys being put into chastity is so far in that I have a hard time wrapping my brain around it yet I know that most all boys masturbate with lustful thoughts in mine. You were the one that simply owned up to it. I'm sorry to hear that you had been cuckolded by previous girlfriends and your former wife. Yet I understand your situation. I wonder if some type of Desensitizing program might allow you to last longer than you currently do, thus giving you the opportunity to please your wife more fully.
      Feel free to write using the email on the upper right of the blog if you care to correspond further. I find you and your story interesting. Thanks again for sharing.

      Delete
  9. The solution for frequent masturbation is to be supervised by a girl. I caught my brother doing choking masturbation and luckily had my cell phone. After I took a picture I gave my brother a choice. I could show the picture to mom and dad and let him explain it to them, or I could supervise his masturbation. He didn't really have much choice, and now I make him masturbate in front of me at least once a day. I also threaten to make him do it in front of other girls, or show them the picture, just to keep him frightened and obedient.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous,
      I never have heard about "choking masturbation" before but looked it up and learned what it was. I am glad, in one respect, that you stepped in to make sure your brother doesn't do that. It surely doesn't sound healthy

      However, I don't believe that by you making him masturbate in front of you that it will cure his condition. He is still doing it and isn't that what you were trying to stop? If you had told me that you are slowly teaching him that he needs to obey girls I could see your rationale and maybe that is what you want him to do..., learn to obey you. Eventually it would be good for him and you that he learns to obey without you having to threaten him with the picture that you have.

      I am curious, how old is he and how old are you? One thought might be to have him save up money so he can purchase himself a chastity device and only unlock when you tell him/let him. That way you really could learn to control a boy and he could learn what it means to submit to a female.

      Feel free to contact me by email if you care to correspond more privately.

      Thanks so much for stopping by.

      Delete
  10. This is an interesting topic that poses some provacative questions. More women are assuming positions of power and authority, so is it appropriate that, to support them, some boys should be raised to view submission as a lifestyle goal? As recently as the 1960s, we raised girls to wear dresses and restrictive undergarments, we taught them how to cook and clean, and be attentive and dutiful submissives to their breadwinning husbands. This only seems immoral now because it was gender-based. I am certain that a good subset of single moms and lesbian couples with sons out there would happily resurrect some old-fashioned values and the discipline once reserved for girls, apply them to boys, and create a new generation of male caregivers for future female CEOs and professionals.

    As far as chastity goes, there are controls on all bodily functions and natural urges in our society. Why not masturbation? "Self abuse" was once considered sinful and decadent, and devices to prevent it were common for wealthy families into the early 1900s. Severe punishments for masturbation, including canings and poultices, were common also. I am certain that if a boy knew he could masturbate if his grades were good, he completed his chores, and he was polite and attentive, he would be well-behaved indeed.

    I think society is moving in this direction. Even 15 years ago, there were very few male chastity devices on the market. Today there are a dozen or more, including some male management devices that come with GPS tracking and punishment capability.

    Masturbation leads to porn addiction and the objectification of women. Alcohol and tobacco atre legal too, but we control how and where they are used.

    I would like to see a private school environment where boys are required to wear skirts and girls wear pants. Girls are taught math, science, physics, computers, etc. while boys are taught cooking, sewing, and dancing. The entire staff would be female, and girls would outnumber boys. I think this would create a great safe haven for boys to learn how to support women, and a great confidence builder for the girls.

    As for me, I had submissive and deferential feelings toward powerful women even at an early age, so I think all this would have worked for me quite well.

    Maybe someday we will see a time when mothers give their boys away, when men wear wedding dresses and women tuxedos, and couples are addressed as Ms and Mr, with both partners adopting the female name.

    ReplyDelete