Sunday, September 7, 2014

I Don't Call her Mistress - all the tiime

Some time ago I wrote another submissive man that I highly respect. I don’t know him personally but know that he has lived as a submissive far longer than me. He is also older than I and I trust that with his advancing age also comes wisdom.  I wrote him about my desire for more overt dominance on Katie’s part several months ago and he gave me some things to think about.  What I didn’t expect was a comment regarding how I addressed my wife when I referred to her.  He mentioned that both he and his Mistress thought I should refer to her as Mistress Katie and not Katie. 


At the time he had mentioned this I had been intentionally making an effort to refer to Katie as Miss Katie, Mistress or Mistress Katie for the past month.  I didn’t use those terms of endearment when I wrote my letter to my blog friend.  A day or so after giving his comment some thought I decided to ask Katie if she preferred me using those terms exclusively.  Her answer was ‘no’.  Asking why she told me that she likes it when I address her in non-femdom ways.  I have several and they range from sweetheart, to baby, to sugar, to Katie-girl, to Katie, Miss Katie and the femdom ones stated above.

I don’t know how others refer to their dominant partner but for Katie, she enjoys me not being so formal when I use her name. Katie is a southern girl and enjoys me using those traditional southern phrases so common to this part of the US. She also likes it when I use names that I came up with early on in our relationship.  

Personally I enjoy referring to her as Miss Katie and Mistress but I also love saying things like, “Sweetheart, can I get you anything?”  I mean no disrespect when I address her in these non-submissive ways. Furthermore she prefers that our relationship be vanilla when we talk. Yet I fully understand the comment the man I wrote made. His Mistress wants him to address her as such – Katie doesn’t.  We both are being obedient to our wives but doing so differently.  To me, that is the heart of the issue. Both he and I have pledged obedience and we both bring honor and respect to our respective wives by doing as they wish.

I’m Hers

10 comments:

  1. Ain't it great? We can be the same same, but do it differently. It's all different, even though it is the same. Each of our Mistress is different, and beautifully so, wouldn't you agree?

    I will only refer to Mistress K. as Mistress when we are alone and in an intimate setting like a Femdom scene. There are time when I am being punished that she will require that address her using the formal "Mistress", but like Katie Mistress K. mostly like being referred to as babe, honey, baby-doll and the occasional "Goddess", which of course I love to call her in public.

    Another excellent post IH!

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    1. It sure is. And being in love is greatest of all! I wonder if you refer to your wife only as Mistress K when you are alone - meaning is that a required form of addressing her or one saved only when kids are not within earshot?
      Personally I enjoy calling Katie by all of those 'other' names if for no other reason than they are fun for me and I know she loves it when I do refer to her a Baby, or Katiegirl. They are affectionate expressions meant to show my love.

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  2. Hi I'm Hers - Owner is always referred to as Owner except when we are with friends and family when i use Her real name. She has a number of names for me and rarely uses my real name.

    p
    x

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    1. Happy pet, Like me, your Owner prefers that you call her using terms that she finds endearing. Although they happen to be different than the ones I use, what you call her is something that she enjoys and makes her feel loved. In your case, I think she likes you calling her owner as a reminder of who she is to you. That's pretty cool when you think about it.

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  3. Sub hub summed it up pretty well with the - “We can be the same, same, but do it differently” line.
    I normally use her given name, the name I’ve used for a long time, in conversation with her and often follow up with a meaningful “yes dear “or even a “yes ma’am” at times in a solid, but obedient voice. I am respectful and compliant, as it should be. There is nothing lost in the meaning with those words between us. At this time, for us, mistress would seem too foreign or contrived; maybe someday that may change just as other things have for us, but not for now.
    I really look forward to every day now.

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    1. JT, When I wrote this post, my hunch was that the bottom line is that each of us, regardless of whether or not living a WLM/FLR/D/s relationship or a 'vanilla' one is that we each address our partner in a way that they most enjoy and are comfortable with. Your comment and those above stated similarly.

      Thanks so much for stopping by.

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  4. Also, not to be amiss, hopefully your back is on the mend? I did not envy your situation. Glass half empty/full: you have more time to share with us on the blog. ;)

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    1. JT, Yes unfortunately I do have more time to tend to the blog although I've yet to write a post. Just have no ideas floating in my head at the moment. As for the back, the best way I can describe it when it flares up - which in any time I stand for more than a few minutes is this..... imagine your worst enemy finding a rusty old scabbord - blunt one too. He sticks it into your but and ten works it like he was stirring batter if a big bowl. That's how it feels and where it hurts - in addition to going down into my lower leg/calf. No, it's not fun and I'm hoping to get a call today from the doc. Hopefully I'll know more by tomorrow this time.

      Glass half full: I get to spend more time with Katie :)

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  5. I haven't changed the the way I address my wife's name I think after 20 years she wouldn't approve so it never brought up the subject. But I did tell her if we could go back 20 years I would be proud to take her last name as a commitment as to how I feel about her being the leader in the relationship. We both know it could never happen but thanked me for my thought. R R

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    1. RR, By in large I live the same as you - calling her her name - but I do find it fun sometimes to answer a call from her and say "is this my Mistress?" or "Is this the woman that owns me?" Its fun to 'play'. It spices up our life and makes me smile and I hope her too.

      When we married I gave thought to changing my name and in fact asked her if she wanted that. Of course her answer was no. It really didn't mean anything to Katie by going that route and in the end it would have ruffled lots of feathers, including that of our kids and parents and out of respect for them and avoiding lots of questions, went the traditional route.

      My best to you and yours.

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